EXTRA: Athletics win base-ball contest over Chi
by JLaff on Aug 16, 2009 9:14 PM PDT
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PrintLineups:
Chicago White Stockings
Leftfielder Scott "Bugsy" Podsednik
Thirdbaseman Gordon "Buster" Beckham
Rightfielder Jermaine "Stretch" Dye
Hitter who has been designated Jim "Crusher" Thome
Centerfielder Alex "Slim" Rios
Catcher AJ "Wet Blanket" Pierzynski
Short Stop Alexei "Smiley" Ramirez
Firstbaseman Mark "Lefty" Kotsay
Secondbaseman Jason "Bugsy" Nix
Hurler John "Ace" Danks
Field Manager Ozzie "Skip" Guillen
Defending Worlds Champs Philadelphia Athletics
Thirdbaseman Adam "Machine Gun" Kennedy
Centerfielder Rajai "Crazy Legs" Davis
Catcher Kurt "Stone Wall" Suzuki
Leftfielder Scott "Knuckles" Hairston
Hitter who has been designated Nomar "Fidgets" Garciaparra
Short Stop Bobby "Bing" Crosby
Firstbaseman Tommy "Babyface" Everidge
Secondbaseman Mark "Hands" Ellis
Rightfielder Aaron "Noodles" Cunningham
Hurler Trevor "Chief" Cahill
Field Manager Bob "Gipper" Geren
The ambiance of this sporting match, played at a shortened Shibe Park in the Land of Oaks, was spiffy. None of that hipping and hopping, but just good ol' timey music, even a live band.
However, upon entering the bless-ed ballpark, I realized a vandal was afoot! The grass was a wreck. Must have been those rapscallion Frankford Yellow Jackets. Bad form, I say!
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I must have been in good fortune on this day, as Henry Ford chose this base-ball game to showcase his latest horse-less carriages. Gee, I'd look swell in one of those.
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Athletics famed flapper girl Kara was quite a doll
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What is this? Words betwixt rivals?
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White Stocking hurler John Danks
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Trevor Cahill, he of Oceanside, California, was quite the bees knees today, though he did not receive a decision. Thanks for giving it the ol' college try, sport!
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Eventually, my colleague and I trotted from the two-bit seats to the three-bit seats to get a closer view of the action. Here's "Knuckles" Hairston.
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Surely these gents are talking about the dashing rookie campaign of southpaw Jamie Moyer. Now, that cat is on the up and up.
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After Field Manager Bob Geren attempted to give this umpire the business about his need for updated spectacles, he was given the bum's rush. Better luck next time, Gipper.
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Good heavens, what an odd throw. This man simply lobbed it underhand. What are they teaching these kids now? Must be the talking pictures.
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Second-sacker Mark "Hands" Ellis proved to be quite the cat's pajamas this afternoon, launching a Home Run to make his Philadelphia nine the victors.
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(Full gallery here. Hope you enjoyed it!)
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Okay, dude, that was rad.
"I’m Joey Devine, I’m what Joba Chamberlain would be if he was good and nobody had ever heard of him."
Rec'd just for the old timey nicknames
I love retro days, so much that I would be an advocate of using the retro unis all the time. The ones from the 70s are fricking sweet, and these with the high socks (how they should always be) were just as cool even in blue and white.
Dating girls is like starting pitching depth, you think you have a good full rotation, even too many starters, then in an instant as soon as you trade your depth away injuries decimate your rotation and you are forced to start Sidney Ponson.
by designatedforassignment on Aug 16, 2009 9:22 PM PDT reply actions
I too would like to add my voice to those who recommend this fine posting
"If Vin Mazzaro comes anywhere near me with shaving cream he’s gonna be coming away with a bloody stump" – Dallas Braden
Well done sir
This was my favorite part though:
After Field Manager Bob Geren attempted to give this umpire the business about his need for updated spectacles
There's no crying in baseball!
Mine:
Rookie Jamie Moyer. Actually laughed loudly, such that folks out side could hear.
by MobiusKlein on Aug 16, 2009 11:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Got to love the Conan Obrien references.
What you fail to understand in your joyless myopia is that baseball is the key to life-- the Rosetta Stone, if you will. If you just understood baseball better all your other questions your, your... the, uh... the aliens, the conspiracies they would all, in their way be answered by the baseball gods.
by winchester5 on Aug 17, 2009 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions
Sehr gut
But they used Bugsy twice for the White Sox. D’oh.
Last of the Ninth - Photography Site / jamesvenes.com - Blog
I wonder if they got to pick their nick names?
Dating girls is like starting pitching depth, you think you have a good full rotation, even too many starters, then in an instant as soon as you trade your depth away injuries decimate your rotation and you are forced to start Sidney Ponson.
by designatedforassignment on Aug 16, 2009 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions
A.J. thinks not...
I said "Why not baseball?" He said he hated baseball and demanded we NEVER speak of it again. He then, oddly enough, walked repeatedly into my fists and feet. So weird that he would do that! - TwistNHook, CGB
Awesome, JLaff!
I hope someday they invent a computing-machine so you can share this with others full stop.
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
Went from two-bit seats to three-bit seats.
you rock, jlaff.
Twitter went down today--if only there were some short, shallow, self-indulgent way to express my horror.-Stephen Colbert
Nicknames!
The A’s nicknames are awesome. The other guys’ were OK, too, but … they’re allowed to have two Bugsies?
"Go ahead and overachieve, you scrappy Brett-Favre-colored walk-takers." —Rev Halofan
OK, this post wins
It just wins. Amazing job.
Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.
Very cool jlaff! great pics and great form to boot!
keep the throwback unis….they are simply classy and remind me of when times were probably not so complicated…..
Zeigler to Geren…."A-Rod? He’s my bitch." -alox
by the way
I just posted the mob scene at home plate as my wallpaper!
:)
Zeigler to Geren…."A-Rod? He’s my bitch." -alox
Insanely funny, great pics,
and a new sigline.
Surely these gents are talking about the dashing rookie campaign of southpaw Jamie Moyer. Now, that cat is on the up and up.
"Surely these gents are talking about the dashing rookie campaign of southpaw Jamie Moyer. Now, that cat is on the up and up." JLaff, in 1929.
Great pics --and a fun read
One more observation: it was interesting watching lefty Jay Marshall and righty Brad Ziegler warming up side by side in the bullpen. It’s not often you get to see two submariners warming up.
by OaklandSi on Aug 17, 2009 6:11 AM PDT via mobile reply actions
I wasn't at the game, but...
…if I was, the thing I would have liked most would be the lack of stupid “walk-up” music for each player. Baseball is no place for hip-hop and metal.
Very funny!
I wish I could have gone to the game, those uniforms looked spiffy on BT.
There is no gravity - the earth just sucks.
Maybe you should dig a trench.....
Then the ball would be as low as you seem to wish it to be.
What you fail to understand in your joyless myopia is that baseball is the key to life-- the Rosetta Stone, if you will. If you just understood baseball better all your other questions your, your... the, uh... the aliens, the conspiracies they would all, in their way be answered by the baseball gods.
Great job!!!!
What a fun read!
PREPAREDNESS_Because those goddamn zombies aren’t going to kill themselves
Fantastic!
Man…that’s a good read. And it looks like SUCH a fun game! What was the crowd size?
"Bobby Crosby at third is a bit of an adventure. And not like, here’s some hidden treasure, what fun. More like, gah! poison ants!" --alea iacta est
Nice post
Best Part? I can see myself in your Shibe Park pic.
rebuildingseason.blogspot.com
by Rebuilding Season on Aug 17, 2009 10:06 PM PDT reply actions
I joined the community and waited 24 hours
just to tip my cap to this post
outstanding!
best wishes from south side sox
¡signature!
Now this is just the greatest thing I’ve read all week.
Clayton Tanner. I have nothing witty to add.
by walkoff baltimore chop on Aug 21, 2009 1:28 AM PDT reply actions
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