If I were president

Ah, the good ol' days, when racism and sexism were taught to innocent children through Saturday morning cartoons, and kids dreamt of becoming President of the United States.

Well, times have changed thankfully, but to echo the sentiments in the song sung by Olive Oyl, "If I were President", I would make some radical changes, now.

First of all, Cahill and Anderson would get back down to Sacramento PRONTO. They never pitched in the minors (AAA) and they need the seasoning, not the intense media scrutiny and large crowds and elevated expectations that come with the big game. I would also stick Gallagher in the pen.

Then, I would go purchase the contracts of Mulder and Martinez. Since we are languishing at the bottom, the very bottom, of the American League, what do we have to lose? Nothing, and everything to gain in allowing our talented kids to develop. Duke will be back soon, so a rotation of Mulder, Martinez, Outman, Duke and Braden sounds better to me than what we have now. If I never have to see Gallagher start again I would die a happy man.

Then, I would bring up Petit, and let him ride it out at second. Let the guy have a legit chance at second. Sorry, but Kennedy and Petit cannot be that dissimilar at the plate. Kennedy has a better glove, but Petit has more upside potential.

Next....bye bye Buck! Join your friend Barton down in the minors. I would much prefer to see Cunningham get the chance out in right.

Next.... The big trade! I would go find us an emerging third baseman, or at least someone legit to man the position until we can secure a longer term solution.

Bobby Crosby? Oh Bobby Boy, you would be outrighted. Kaput! Adios. Bu-Bye. I am tired of your languishing bat and booting balls on the infield.

Radical changes, I know, what are we going to do, get worse? Is there a last-last place? Let our future star pitchers become future Maddux's not future VanPoppel's. Let's get some of our potential studs with upside some MLB at bats instead of shipping them back and forth all year, trading them or letting them go, and them watching them rake for another team down the road.

Last move? Bob Geren. How about someone with some passion? A younger, fiery ex-player who played more than 5 minutes in the game, or someone who can teach and is not afraid to pull players and bench them when they are stinkin' up the joint. At least someone who does not compliment the team when we are clearing not playing to the best of our abilities.

Eric Chavez? Minor league coaching job, golden handshake has already taken place in the form of way too much money given to a player who spent the majority of the past few seasons on the DL. Off the roster.

Yeah, that's what I would do.