Jack Hannahan To Have Head Removed
by Nico on Apr 1, 2009 9:45 AM PDT
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Ted Williams to have head removed
It's not the results, it's how you look going about those results -- Tim McCarver
wrong tense
Chicago. Where the Dead can Vote. Where the Voters of Tomorrow are found in the Obituaries of Today.
Will it be replaced with Ellis' kidney?
I could prove God statistically. Take the human body alone - the chances that all the functions of an individual would just happen is a statistical monstrosity.
~George Gallup
Richard?
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
Marie.
"If I told you once, I told you a thousand times: get yourself a hacksaw and a roll of duck tape, and attach your ankle-bracelet monitor to the leg of a gator." -lemurspoker
by Leopold Bloom on Apr 1, 2009 12:08 PM PDT up reply actions
An anxious fan base awaits the answer:
Will he still scratch his balls forty times/inning?
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
Somehow this reminds me of an episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse
where Jombie, the disembodied genie head, received the package he’d anxiously been awaiting. When he opened the box, he took out a pair of hands and, with a grin and (I’m sure) clearly lascivious meaning, said something like, “There’s something I’ve meaning to do with these for a long time!”
Hard to believe he got arrested in the progressive state I find myself in.
"If I told you once, I told you a thousand times: get yourself a hacksaw and a roll of duck tape, and attach your ankle-bracelet monitor to the leg of a gator." -lemurspoker
by Leopold Bloom on Apr 1, 2009 12:08 PM PDT up reply actions
I also remember that episode
I <3 Pee Wee
Bob Geren, on 8/2/07, on the success of Alan Embree as new interim closer: "What can I say,... he's been our Steady Tremendous Bullpen Man"
by popcornjames on Apr 1, 2009 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions
See, I would have gone with "Jack Hannahan To Have Crotch Removed"
That way he can stay focused on the task at hand.
But then it wouldn't be at hand anymore.
"I’m Joey Devine, I’m what Joba Chamberlain would be if he was good and nobody had ever heard of him."
I can see the headline now
“Jack Hannahan Drunk – Off His Ass?!”
Chicago. Where the Dead can Vote. Where the Voters of Tomorrow are found in the Obituaries of Today.
FedEx selects Jack Hannahan as Spokesman
FedEx V.P. states, “Nobody cares for their package like Jack, and this is our new message, our promise; to care for your package as passionately as Jack cares for his.”
Enjoy the game
by DCinWC on Apr 1, 2009 11:50 AM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Is Rocky Roquet a real person or an April Fools thing?
It's not the results, it's how you look going about those results -- Tim McCarver
That was his head.
"If I told you once, I told you a thousand times: get yourself a hacksaw and a roll of duck tape, and attach your ankle-bracelet monitor to the leg of a gator." -lemurspoker
Y'know, I was about to say, "WHAT THE FRAK?!"
And then I realized the date.
Adopted Giant: Clayton Tanner
"He [Sandoval] is a big, puffy crouton in our wilted salad of a lineup. Do No matter how bad a movie is a eight game sweep is wacky in baseball, so a one run loss in the series is not the end of the world. disparage the comedian." -sfgiantstoday
by walkoff baltimore chop on Apr 1, 2009 12:19 PM PDT reply actions
That's mildly disturbing.
Adopted Giant: Clayton Tanner
"He [Sandoval] is a big, puffy crouton in our wilted salad of a lineup. Do No matter how bad a movie is a eight game sweep is wacky in baseball, so a one run loss in the series is not the end of the world. disparage the comedian." -sfgiantstoday
by walkoff baltimore chop on Apr 1, 2009 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions
/breaks into song --
“H” “a” double “n” “a”,
“h-a-n”, you see!
Got m’ hand on m’ gland,
It’s what I stay connected with—
Handy-glans, that’s me!
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
{Smoooooooooooch}
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
Soooo, lad --
— ye figger ’e’s checkin’ t’see if ’e’s got ’is Irish up?
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on Apr 1, 2009 9:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Waaaaaait a minute, how did this get past the fanpost minimum character requirement?
The real AFJ is the lifting of minimum character requirements – right?
I like important stuff just as much as the next guy, but please, for a little while, deliver us from meaning, baseball. That's your greatest glory, and we thank you for it very, very much. -- Craig Calcaterra
I actually don't know how it bypassed the minimum requirement
I was afraid it wouldn’t post, but it did. Maybe the news was just that big.
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
Title misprint:
Jack Hannahan To Have Head Lice Removed
You can understand Nico wanting to spare Jack the embarrassment.
I would've believed it more if the headline was something akin to "Selig to have head removed."
of course my natural response would be, “from who’s ass?”
Play more Conan!
Talk about contraction!
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
In Selig's case, addition by contraction.
I could prove God statistically. Take the human body alone - the chances that all the functions of an individual would just happen is a statistical monstrosity.
~George Gallup
as someone who has had this procedure,
i am shocked and offended at how it has been treated as a joke. i hope hannahan recovers, and who knows, maybe he’ll be a better hitter without a head.
"True fact: In a global thermonuclear war, the only human who would survive would be David Eckstein" -PT
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