DLD 2/12/09 Smooth Criminals
by JediLeroy on Feb 12, 2009 4:38 PM PST
46 comments
3 days in a row is great, but 4 is better.
Michael Jackson has a flesh-eating superbug!
"There's a chance it could turn into a flesh-eating disorder where it begins to kill off his skin, so he’s being very carefully monitored."
Michael Phelps will pay for his blunders with his LIFE!
Some pranksters hijacked a Taco Bell drive through radio signal. If caught, they could face criminal charges. Sedalians don't take radio terrorism lightly. But seriously. Who hasn't hijacked a radio signal once or twice in their life?
Mmmm. Forbidden doughnut.
Everybody's a criminal these days. Let's send them all to jail and make them pay for their own toilet paper. That'll teach them.
You wanna catch some criminals? Blow their minds with spelling errors.
And in other news, what better way to say I love you than making him or her watch animals get it on.
Dump.
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Joaquin Phoenix
was on Letterman last night and boy howdy was that a bizarre interview. Can’t tell if it was staged or if his life really is going down the crapper but it’s funny nonetheless.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 12, 2009 5:02 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I'm pretty sure that it's a mockumentary in the making
m*****f***ing c***s***ing peanut butter and jelly!! f*** f*** f***!!!
by JediLeroy on Feb 12, 2009 6:23 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
It's almost gotta be...right?
"Hot Goat Kraut Pants Day"--Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2009 6:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
That whole interview was strange as hell.
Wait for the the 2009 Oaklands A's season to start I can not. Herh herh herh.
by A'sfaninNC on Feb 13, 2009 7:41 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Monroe County Indiana must be doing OK
if they have a criminal investigation budget which allows them to pay for DNA testing on a doughnuts left at the scene of a minor burglary. In Oakland, the cops mostly can’t even pay for fingerprinting on stolen cars or home B&E’s with 5-figure hauls.
Also, the Phelps Must Pay link ain’t working.
"There is a sense of tragic destiny associated with people who have large noses." --Bucky Wunderlick
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Feb 12, 2009 5:12 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Fixed the Phelps link
m*****f***ing c***s***ing peanut butter and jelly!! f*** f*** f***!!!
by JediLeroy on Feb 12, 2009 6:27 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
What's the major cost involved in fingerprinting?
Seems like it ought to be practically free.
I switched Cabreras when your back was turned.
by Elvez on Feb 12, 2009 7:03 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The crime lab runs on a skeleton crew
The fingerprint unit was closed down completely for nearly a year back in 06-07. As with most things, personnel is the biggest cost…I think they’re running with 3 fingerprint techs now, but that’s capacity to handle evidence for basically only the most serious violent felonies. Cops don’t bother taking prints for stuff like car thefts, because the lab will never have time to process it, and there are no investigative staff to follow-up on the results.
OPD prioritizes cops on the street in the hottest spots, so that their presence suppresses crimes. This is understandable, given the City’s frightening murder rate, the less chronicled but widely felt frequency of non-fatal violence, and the resulting chilling perception of danger. As a result, though, unless the perps are caught on scene the rate of solving crimes through investigation is horrible. Long recent article here:
From 2005 through 2007, the last year in which complete data is available, Oakland police only solved 86 homicides out of 357 total, or just 24 percent….By comparison, San Francisco has cleared 45 percent of its homicide cases in the past three years; Long Beach, 52 percent; Fresno, 67 percent; and Sacramento, 70 percent….Overall, the nationwide homicide clearance rate has hovered around 60 percent for many years.
"There is a sense of tragic destiny associated with people who have large noses." --Bucky Wunderlick
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Feb 12, 2009 7:38 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
that could be good for tourism in this tough economy
want to kill someone for the life insurance money? come to oakland.
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05
by xbhaskarx on Feb 12, 2009 7:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
have to wait a couple years until the stimulus makes high-speed rail travel to Oakland more affordable
A B -3X = Swedish girls like chocolate @('.')@
by monkeyball on Feb 13, 2009 12:41 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
wasn’t SF in the 20% range at the beginning of the decade?
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05
by xbhaskarx on Feb 12, 2009 8:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Google says yes!
A couple of hits from the mid-90s and early 00’s quote violent crime clearance rates for SF in the 25-30% range. But this is a subject with huge methodological variance, so without taking the time to delve deeper I can’t peg those figures versus the uniform FBI rate stats in the EBX quote above.
"There is a sense of tragic destiny associated with people who have large noses." --Bucky Wunderlick
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Feb 12, 2009 9:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The bittersweet loveliness of Trader Joe's
Illicit cellphone video and the creator’s poignant lyrical adoration for Trader Joe’s make this an absolute must see.
"There is a sense of tragic destiny associated with people who have large noses." --Bucky Wunderlick
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Feb 12, 2009 5:21 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Put another notch
in the “Florida sucks because” column.
"Hot Goat Kraut Pants Day"--Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2009 6:28 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Am I the only
one who clicked on the “animals get it on” link? Please tell me someone else did.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Feb 12, 2009 6:20 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Nope.
Just you.
Perv.
"Hot Goat Kraut Pants Day"--Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2009 6:25 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Yes
but I only read the articles
Stewart 7, Clemens / McNamee 1
by eastcoasta'sfan on Feb 12, 2009 7:48 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
SFGate engages in disposocentrism:
A baby human can go through half a package.
And, yes, “Awww”: 
A B -3X = Swedish girls like chocolate @('.')@
by monkeyball on Feb 12, 2009 6:31 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Why you barking at me like that?
"Hot Goat Kraut Pants Day"--Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2009 6:58 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The Broadway show is excellent I recommend everyone seeing it
Wait for the the 2009 Oaklands A's season to start I can not. Herh herh herh.
by A'sfaninNC on Feb 13, 2009 7:44 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Today in entomology
How to infiltrate an ant colony
…queens generate distinctive sounds that elicit increased benevolent responses from workers, reinforcing their supreme social status. Although fiercely defended by workers, ant societies are infiltrated by specialist insects that exploit their resources. Sounds produced by pupae and larvae of the parasitic butterfly Maculinea rebeli mimic those of queen ants more closely than those of workers, enabling them to achieve high status within ant societies. We conclude that acoustical mimicry provides another route for infiltration for ~10,000 species of social parasites that cheat ant societies.
Surely there’s a owner/municipality metaphor in there.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on Feb 12, 2009 7:48 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
And I guess this matches the DLD theme.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on Feb 12, 2009 8:25 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
So Lew's a parasitic butterfly,
Mayor of the Parking Lot Wasserman is a queen, and the denizens of Fremont are a bunch of worker drones. Entomology is fun!
"There is a sense of tragic destiny associated with people who have large noses." --Bucky Wunderlick
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Feb 12, 2009 9:01 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
you, my friend,
have unleashed the blinding fury of THE MONARCH!
"Hot Goat Kraut Pants Day"--Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2009 6:40 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
this explains how you statnerds have taken over AN
Although fiercely defended by workers, ant societies are infiltrated by specialist insects that exploit their resources.
A B -3X = Swedish girls like chocolate @('.')@
by monkeyball on Feb 13, 2009 12:43 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Ants have crappy BABIP
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on Feb 13, 2009 5:44 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Another smooth criminal....
this one from San Francisco!
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on Feb 12, 2009 8:18 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
want one what?
Two large red balls that you can sit on/get stuck between?
Dogfood Gangstas
Canned or Dry,
We Neva Die.
by Zonis on Feb 12, 2009 9:18 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
well who wouldn't?
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Feb 12, 2009 9:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I have the two large red balls (at least when my laptop overheats)
but I want the bike-lane projector.
by green star oakland on Feb 12, 2009 10:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
link then?
Dogfood Gangstas
Canned or Dry,
We Neva Die.
by Zonis on Feb 13, 2009 12:53 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Astounding
m*****f***ing c***s***ing peanut butter and jelly!! f*** f*** f***!!!
by JediLeroy on Feb 12, 2009 9:28 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
HE WAS 12!
AHHHH!!!
"Smells like summer camp!"
by Jennifer on Feb 13, 2009 7:51 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
why are 12 and 15 year olds having sex?
I mean, I guess that’s better than a 12 year-old and a 40 year-old, but still…..
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on Feb 13, 2009 8:47 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm calling "hoax"
The girl looks mid-twenties, he looks single-digits.
A B -3X = Swedish girls like chocolate @('.')@
by monkeyball on Feb 13, 2009 9:50 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Would "The Sun" publish untruths ?
Do monkeys fling poo ?
by green star oakland on Feb 13, 2009 11:35 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
scrupulously
A B -3X = Swedish girls like chocolate @('.')@
by monkeyball on Feb 13, 2009 11:42 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
that is just wrong
when I was 12, a kiss on the back of my hand was awesome.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
by micdog2001 on Feb 13, 2009 10:06 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
when I was 1221, a kiss on the back of my hand was awesome.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on Feb 13, 2009 10:29 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I'm 41 and...
yeah…
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Feb 13, 2009 2:48 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
As AN's resident mascot advocate I feel compelled to contribute this link:
Mascot exposes itself to promote sexual health.
Move over Lou Seal, there’s another San Francisco mascot that will appear at parades, street fairs and other public events around the city over the coming year. It’s the 6-foot-tall Healthy Penis. Actually, there are three of them…the characters will appear with a fourth, much-less-attractive buddy, Phil the Syphilis Sore…
“There is no lack of people who want to volunteer to wear a penis costume in public,” said (SF Public Health) Department spokeswoman Eileen Shields.
"There is a sense of tragic destiny associated with people who have large noses." --Bucky Wunderlick
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Feb 12, 2009 9:41 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
"Shields"? Dam.
A B -3X = Swedish girls like chocolate @('.')@
by monkeyball on Feb 13, 2009 12:44 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Shields will make sure they get off Scott free?
Dogfood Gangstas
Canned or Dry,
We Neva Die.
by Zonis on Feb 13, 2009 1:00 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
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