Or, a series of koans illustrating the mystery of the backup backstop ...

[Original lyrics here.]

Bowen on the Bench

How many Rhodes must a GM live down
Before you call yourself a fan?
Yes, 'n' how many Grieves must in white cleats fail
Before we sign Garret And'?
Yes, 'n' how many usernames must the Internet trolls try
Before they're forever bANnEd?
The catcher, AN, is Bowen on the bench,
The catcher is Bowen on the bench.

How many trades must a fan cook up
Before a free agent we buy?
Yes, 'n' how many beers must one man have
Before he forgets Slide, Jeremy, Slide?
Yes, 'n' how many DLs will it take 'til we know
That Beane to the press has lied?
The catcher, AN, is Bowen on the bench,
The catcher is Bowen on the bench.

How many years can Mount Davis exist
Before it's brought down with TNT?
Yes, 'n' how many years can Mark Ellis compile assists
Before his Gold Glove they concede?
Yes, 'n' how many times can Jack Cust take those strikes,
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The catcher, AN, is Bowen on the bench,
The catcher is Bowen on the bench.