I've decided to toss my hat into the popular song relyricization ring. But, there's a twist -- this time I've actually recorded the song, so, clearly, even more apologies are due.

• I apologize to Whitfield and Strong for messing with their excellent song, I Heard It Through The Grapevine.
• I apologize to Marvin Gaye for messing with his awesome rendition of said song.
• I apologize to karaoke-version.com, from where I purchased the karaoke track.
• I apologize for the stupid trade proposals, but submit this work as evidence that rhyme structure is not an optimal measure of minor league talent.
• And most of all, I apologize to you, the listener, for not finding a track without background vocals and therefore having to sing over them, but not being able to drown them out completely due to the resulting cacophony (which I apparently didn't manage to avoid anyway); for the terrible recording quality of my built-in Macbook mic; and, last but not least, for subjecting you to this whole thing in the first place.
• EDITOR'S NOTE: I apologize to nobody for putting this on the front page. You rock, oblique. Literally. -Nico.