Photos from KC suckage.

Weeks like this would make me cry if they weren't so gosh darn fun. I love seeing my boys live, I don't care how much suckatude they display. I really miss them once they leave town. :(

To the crappy photos!

Please note the old scoreboard at Kauffman.

They just started putting pitch counts up on the scoreboard less than three years ago.

The new scoreboard.

It's about 100 feet tall and totally HD.

The Blue Brothers. They sing the rules of the stadium... it's cute.

The OF fence, also HD.

Very large, very HD Sweeney. Seriously, it was blinding, but awesome. You could see the blades of grass in the OF on replays.

Just for Poppy, Mark Grudzielanek... dead.

That looks painful. (I don't know why these photos are so small.)

Watch for falling Sweeney.

I can has hugz?

I think Ryan has a fetish. He probably makes Daric rub his head while they cuddle on the couch watching television.

Dale warming up... without Ryan.

Um?

The KC fans called him Ritchie.

Mike Sweeney's return to KC!

National Anthem time. Ryan and Daric are inseparable. I'm surprised they didn't hold hands.

Dundundundundundundun OUTMAN!

"Argh, matey!"

"Did you just touch my ass?"

TRIPLE!! Swoon.

So on Tuesday, I was trying to get Mike Sweeney's autograph, when this usher herded me out of the way. As I'm leaving, there is Daric Barton in the dugout signing for one person, so I ignore the usher and tried to get Daric's autogrpah.

The pen tossing didn't go so well, and bounces off something (a combo of the fence, dugout, and Dale himself) and shoots into the camera well.

Me: "Shit!"

And make a face - 0_o - It was one of those "EEK! DANGER!" faces.

Epic. Fail.

Thank goodness someone in the well was nice enough to hand the pen to Daric. So then it's his turn to toss the ball back.

Easy catch for me.

The fucking pen. Again.

There is something about where Daric was standing that was making this pen toss a feat. The dugout has a fence that separates it from the camera well, and goes almost to the dugout roof. Dale is on steps in the dugout... I'm in the row of seats. It was a weird angle that made both of us have to throw the pen like a javelin.

Anyway, Dale also fails at throwing the pen.

Him: [sucks in his breath] 0_o - He does the same "EEK!" face.

But my long monkey fingers (as my mother calls them) latch on to this bad boy as it's hurled at my face. Just by my fingertips.

Him: "Whew. Alright!"

Me: "Whew. Son of a bitch."

I LOL'd and he smiled. Then Hitler The Usher kicked me out of the section for good. Daric was adorkable. It almost made me forget about Ryan, until Thursday's game, where Ryan kicked ass.

Thursday - First Game:

Look at that crowd!

Aaron has WHITE hair when he takes his hat off.

Kurt is rabid.

Huh. I took a LOT of photos of Daric and Ryan.

"ARG! I will eat your soul!"

"I can tie my own shoes!"

"Did I break it?"

Is that hair gel?

Ryan, looking at Aaron's ass. Daric was jealous.

Dear Huston, thank you for not sucking. Please tell Joey next time.

Okay, there is lots of construction going on at Kauffman and Arrowhead, but what the heck is THIS?!
The wall was a few hundred feet long, with holes throughout. I was scared to look in the holes.

Part of the new concourses.

We scored!

Right before Daric broke himself.

Second Game:

Ziggy gives out his siggy.

Mike Sweeney's kids and wife were at the game. During the first game, it was so quiet, I head Mike's daughter yell, "Hi, Daddy!"

Dale broke his hammy or groin in the first game of the DHer by doing the splits. I was shocked Ryan wasn't rubbing it for him.

Oh, there's Ryan, suggesting Jack call Hair Club for Men.

Speaking of hair....

Cliff!

"Is that....Jennifer I smell?"

Before the sucking started.

He must have crapped his pants between games.

Ryan fogged my up camera with his sexiness.

Me stalking Ryan in RF. Boy, am I glad I moved out there. Ryan. Be still my heart.

Okay, I moved to RF after the second inning. A group of drunk jackasses were heckling MY RYAN! These guys were total douche bags. They are - I kid you not - wearing powder blue seersucker suit coats... WITH THE SLEEVES CUT OUT. WTF?!

Anyway, there are eight to ten of them along the rail, all shouting at the same time things like:

"Weeney!"
"Hey, hey, hey, Ryan!"
"Ryan, seriously! Ryan!"
"Don't look over here!"
[about the CFer] "Why are you looking there?!? He can't help you!"
"Nice catch... for my grandmother!"
"YOU! SUCK!"
"Come here, Weeney! Seriously, come here!"
"Nice catch! I mean it this time!"
"Ryan! Ryan!"
"Pay attention!"
"You throw like a girl!"
"Weeney!"

It was constant. They were riding him hard, but nothing too awful or mean. So at the end of the 7th inning, I think, Ryan makes the third out over by where they are sitting. Like usual, he's going to throw the ball in the stands. Ryan jogs over right in front of them... I thought, Son of a bitch! After all that and he's giving THEM a ball?!? ASSHOLES!!

He's got his left hand up, waving the ball, motioning the douches to catch. Then he tosses it directly right of them to a group of kids and runs to the dugout.

The entire RF area goes, "OHHHHH!!!" or "Ouch!" It's frickin hilarious.

One of the assholes then makes a motion similiar to grabbing his ankles. LOL! Then he slapped his ass and shouted something about Ryan "getting him," "taking it," and being "owned."

It was great. I love me some Ry Bread.