In Honor of his First Start: "Out Man": The Worst P.I. Ever
by mikeA on Sep 5, 2008 7:34 PM PDT
18 comments
I think my first poetic interlude is at least statistically on the mark.
Here goes:
One, two, three, out!
Huh!
One, two, three, out!
There's a strike for you, strike two, strike three
can't hit our main man from Phil-yyyyyyyyyyyyy
'cuz I'm the Out Man
yeah I'm the Out Man
Should Halo "bats" appear too small
Be thankful I will throw a ball
'cuz I'm the Out Man
yeah I'm the Out Man
If you swing the bat, I'll bring the heat
If you try to sit, I'll hit your feet
If you get too cold, I'll call you "meat"
If you take a walk, I'll take the heat
Out-man!
'cuz I'm the Out Man
Yeah, I'm the Out Man.
Don't ask me why my curve's so poor
If you don't want the ball at your door.
'cuz I'm the Out Man,
Yeah, I'm the Out Man.
Now my advice for those who whine (Out-Man)
You won't score off Josh and Devine (Out-Man)
'cuz I'm the Out Man
Yeah, I'm the Out Man.
And you're workin', for no one, but bi-LEEEEEEEEE
Out Mannnnnnnnnnn
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Took me back
to the days of 3-minute songs and 2-hour baseball games.
As for your first ’lude, nice work, mikeA.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Sep 5, 2008 8:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
MikeA was on 'ludes when he wrote it?
Takes ME back.
Good’un MikeA — you didn’t let The Man 
wring-out all your creative impulses.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on Sep 6, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Calling parodists
I’ve had an idea for a PI for a while but I’m not nearly clever enough to make the whole thing work. Pink Floyd’s “How I Wish You Were Here” is ripe for a PI. Take this as both a challenge and a request.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on Sep 5, 2008 9:00 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Aw, geez...
How I wish I had time.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on Sep 6, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
man, that PI made the earth quake!
If you’re not lying, i recommend seeing a doctor. @('.')@
by monkeyball on Sep 5, 2008 9:04 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I thought
“Oh great! We finally had a convincing win and now WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” …only for about two seconds though.
Polynesian Sauce may not be available in all locations.
by Englishmajor on Sep 5, 2008 9:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Pinch-runners hitting grand slams,
the earth shaking, A’s changing colors to black and orange…yep, the end is surely near.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Sep 5, 2008 9:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
It's not clear whether God is shaking the tree-sitters down from the trees
pursuant to a legal injunction, or sending a stern warning to cut-down-ers and their Tedford-idolizing, anti-Mr. Running Wolf-setting-giant piles-of-shit-on-fire-in-the-middle-of-Telegraph-Avenue drones, such as myself. Only time will tell.
The A's colors are green and gold.
by mikeA on Sep 5, 2008 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Holy hyphens
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Sep 5, 2008 9:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Did you mean "Holy hypens, Outman!" ?
The A's colors are green and gold.
by mikeA on Sep 5, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Missed opportunities
Hey, I can play for the A’s!
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Sep 5, 2008 9:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nah, Tom Selleck was a way worse PI
Goo goo g’joob.
Arte didn't get much Home Run Derby. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Sep 6, 2008 9:45 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
He has also played an "Out" Man
Whoa — I’ve got goosebumps!
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on Sep 6, 2008 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
He also made an out, man
(not just at the plate, but at the box office)
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on Sep 6, 2008 10:48 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
love that movie
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on Sep 6, 2008 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
he was always so easily foiled by his nemesis, Deputy Commissioner Yelburton
If you’re not lying, i recommend seeing a doctor. @('.')@
by monkeyball on Sep 6, 2008 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
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