So that's what I've been doing wrong. The road to writing for ESPN is not though years of solid journalism, but being a young money millionaire.
So writes Young Wayne-on-them-hoes, A.K.A. Mr. Make it Rain-on-them-hoes...
My fantasy team is now 2-1. I'm fifth place in the league right now but movin' up. I won my last game by a great margin. I had to drop Ben Roethlisberger 'cause he don't look like he's doing nothing any time soon. Had to do it. I picked up Kurt Warner because he has more to prove than Ben. He's stepping in to Matt Leinart's place, and he's still kind of competing. You want guys like that, guys who are motivated.
I grew up playing football. Believe it or not, I was a fullback. When I was nine, ten, eleven, I was a great blocker. I knew how to block real good and the other kids didn't. So there I was. One game when I was ten years old we were on the goal line about to score, and coach called the play for me. I was supposed to go one way, but I ended up sneaking around the other side on a sweep. Everybody thought I was already tackled. The ref was already blowin' his whistle. But I was still up and I stutter stepped one way and beat the last guy trying to get me and scored that touchdown. That's my favorite sports memory for myself.
Oh, right, baseball stuff. There are pennant races going on and such.
Amazing finish at Shea last night, with Ryan Church just barely avoiding Koyie Hill's tag at the plate to keep the game alive. The Mets later won on an RBI single from Carlos Beltran. Also of note, Ricardo Rincon is in the Mets bullpen. We feel their pain.
With the Phillies holding a 1-game lead in the NL East, some Joe Blanton guy is pitching today. Ever heard of him? Apparently he likes small, frosted baked goods or something.
Ryan Braun belted a walk-off GRAND SLAM to top the hapless Pirates, keeping the Brewers in the race for the playoffs. Apparently both Braun and Prince Fielder (are those Brewers boxers?) are big Brandi Chastain fans.
Beavers fend off Trojan penetration ... /easy joke. I'd show a picture, but OSU's uniforms are retina-burning. Jeez, whoever thought black and orange were good colors anyway?
Link away, people!
Of these options, with which of these writers would you most like to have dinner?
JD Salinger (6 votes)
Kurt Vonnegut (25 votes)
Ernest Hemingway (9 votes)
William Shakespeare (14 votes)
Chuck Palahniuk (3 votes)
Joe Posnanski (10 votes)
Lil Wayne (10 votes)
Jenn Sterger (12 votes)
89 total votes