DLD, August 20th: Happy Lemonade Day!

by gigglingone on Aug 20, 2008 1:00 PM PDT

TIs no joke, today is Lemonade Day. It's also National Chocolate Pecan Pie Day, but I'll start with the lemonade......

I got tired of today's game, so here's a DLD to play with. And, so we don't feel quite so bad about our own team, let's see how some of the other athletes are doing....

Billy Wagner - out indefinitely
Scott Proctor - right elbow tendinitis, 60-day DL
Janos Baranyai (HUN) - displaced right elbow, out of the Olympics (don't worry, that's from last week, it's not spoiling anything....)
Complimentary peanuts and cookies on United - out indefinitely

So, kick back with a glass of lemonade, grab a piece of Chocolate Pecan Pie, and dump away!

5 recs | Comment 62 comments

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Fitting for today

When the A’s give you lemons, make lemonade.

Or something like that.

I'm here to talk about the past.

by 67MARQUEZ on Aug 20, 2008 1:10 PM PDT 0 recs

no no.. you add vodka.

I’ve been over this in previous threads.

by mikev on Aug 20, 2008 1:11 PM PDT up 0 recs

you add stuff to your vodka?

"The Athletics at Fremont" is quite bad

by ArakSOT on Aug 20, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

Sorry, I've been threadless lately, mikev

I'm here to talk about the past.

by 67MARQUEZ on Aug 20, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up 0 recs

Add a milk and a milk to your lemonade

then around the corner fudge is made.

The A’s got a whole lot of fudge this year.

Green Hulk Fists

by oaklandSMASH on Aug 21, 2008 1:17 AM PDT up 0 recs

United gave out cookies?

I only ever got the pretzels. Not fair.

by whiteshoes40 on Aug 20, 2008 1:14 PM PDT 0 recs

Monkey eludes dragnet at Tokyo train station

Maybe they should have asked Huston to BART over and talk him down …

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 1:15 PM PDT 0 recs

mentioned in the game thread, but ...

… Big Hurt again making empty gestures about re-signing with A’s for less than market value.

Of course, given his performance this year, Frank’s market value could end up being quite low indeed.

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 1:16 PM PDT 0 recs

I'd much rather have Dunn

For $12M/year than Frank at $6M

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 20, 2008 8:46 PM PDT up 0 recs

Christ, what a semi-colon.

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 1:17 PM PDT 0 recs

I have been accused

of overusing the semi-colon; I actually fell in love with a woman who used it as much as I did. Then I found out she was an Angel’s fan; I immediately broke things off with her.

I'm here to talk about the past.

by 67MARQUEZ on Aug 20, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up 0 recs

Good for you

Glad to see you have your priorities straight!

"However, at Elias, I think they keep track of the amount of sunflower seeds spit in a dugout each night." - Brad Ziegler, 8/7/08

by doctorK on Aug 20, 2008 5:19 PM PDT up 0 recs

So, is it "semi-colon" or "semicolon"?

I’ve always seen (and used) the latter.

by whiteshoes40 on Aug 20, 2008 1:25 PM PDT up 0 recs

Hmm..

I am not sure; I may have to look that up.

I'm here to talk about the past.

by 67MARQUEZ on Aug 20, 2008 1:27 PM PDT up 0 recs

I always overuse the semi-colon

The only problem is; I always used it improperly; it’s like a disease.

by VORP is too nerdy on Aug 20, 2008 2:22 PM PDT up 0 recs

Isn't a semi-colon

really just half of a portion of a digestive system? I’d much rather use my entire colon.

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 20, 2008 8:48 PM PDT up 0 recs

Christ, what a douchebag.

(I always got pessary, peccary, peccadillo, and armadillo mixed up.)

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 1:18 PM PDT 0 recs

I wasn't going to say anything

But I’ve always been uncomfortable with that term-of-insult also. Mostly ‘cause it’s kinda oogy.

Arte didn't get much Home Run Derby. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat.

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Aug 20, 2008 2:09 PM PDT up 0 recs

Those crazy feminists

Always over thinking things…

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 20, 2008 8:50 PM PDT up 0 recs

I can't believe there are food holidays for every single day.

Two good ones I’m sad to have missed this year: Nutella Day (Feb. 6) and Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day (Feb. 23). I might adopt Nutella Day for my birthday, considering I officially have something about crab meat and food service employees. No thanks.

by whiteshoes40 on Aug 20, 2008 1:21 PM PDT 0 recs

anyone else notice that Whiskey Sour has two days???

I think we ought to have a Whiskey Sour game thread next week, for both Monday and Friday! :)

There's no crying in baseball!

by gigglingone on Aug 20, 2008 1:52 PM PDT up 0 recs

it only looks like it has two days if you've had too many whiskey sours

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 2:10 PM PDT up 0 recs

Whiskey sours's?

Don’t mind if I do.

"If you lived in the now, you'd be home by now."

by McFood on Aug 20, 2008 2:11 PM PDT up 0 recs

whiskey; sours

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 2:17 PM PDT up 0 recs

Actually

You’re looking for whiskeys sour.

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 20, 2008 8:51 PM PDT up 0 recs

and you're looking for monkeys ball

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 9:43 PM PDT up 0 recs

Where is it? (and is it covered in poop)

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 21, 2008 7:28 AM PDT up 0 recs

Minus the sour

by mikev on Aug 20, 2008 2:52 PM PDT up 0 recs

Better than my "Eat All Your Veggies Day"!

"Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all games and holes are created equal." --George F. Will

by anomaly_kat on Aug 20, 2008 3:19 PM PDT up 0 recs

Once a Fat...Toad, always a Fat...Toad

Hideki Irabu, once famously described by George Steinbrenner (as reprinted in American papers) as a “Fat…Toad,” was arrested in Osaka Japan yesterday for assaulting a bartender after drinking 20 mugs of beer, and then finding that his credit card to pay for them had been rejected.

Amusingly, the high standards of decorum once practiced by the New York Post appear to have sunk, as they now write out the whole Steinbrenner line, “Fat Pussy Toad.” I remember wondering for a long time what they ellipsed orginally in the “Fat…Toad” construction. I’d always assumed it was Fuckin’.

Arte didn't get much Home Run Derby. He was dug in too deep or moving too fast. His idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat.

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Aug 20, 2008 2:14 PM PDT 0 recs

Hey Free...Upgrade

You know what they say about assuming…

It’s actually much funnier this way. The Steinbrenner’s are hilarious (so long as the Yankees suck)

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 20, 2008 8:53 PM PDT up 0 recs

It was never absolutely clear to me

whether Steinbrenner meant “pussy” as in “full of pus” or a pussy like . Mrs. Slocombe’s.

Polynesian Sauce may not be available in all locations.

by Englishmajor on Aug 20, 2008 10:30 PM PDT up 0 recs

Awesome show!

When was the last time you worked a retail job where your boss was a “Captain.”

I suppose it happens all the time in London.

Green Hulk Fists

by oaklandSMASH on Aug 21, 2008 1:21 AM PDT up 0 recs

rampant inequity in the food-temporal-unit allocation

Ice Cream gets a whole month, while Apricot only gets a measly day?

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 2:16 PM PDT 0 recs

From semicolons to colons

Get ready to look deep inside Charles Barkley. The former Sixers superstar has been asked to undergo a televised colonoscopy as part of the “Stand Up to Cancer” special being aired Sept. 5 by NBC, CBS and ABC.

Barkley said yesterday he’s flying to Alabama today to prepare for the procedure on Friday.

Sir Charles, 45, says he was surprised that the show approached him, but was happy to participate in promoting awareness for colonoscopies, which screen for prostate and other cancers.

Barkley said that when he told his friend Fred Lavner, of NB2 Apparel, about being asked to undergo the procedure on television, Lavner replied they were “probably just looking for the celebrity with the biggest ass.”

(Link)

Sounds like he’s doing it for a good cause. I don’t know, the A’s-Orioles game from Camden Yards or Barkley’s colonoscopy? I’ll see what I’m in the mood for on September 5.

by Soaker on Aug 20, 2008 2:23 PM PDT 0 recs

This is perfect for him.

I think Barkley’s been looking for an opportunity to show America (nay, the world) just how big an asshole he really is.

by VORP is too nerdy on Aug 20, 2008 2:26 PM PDT up 0 recs

His ass is so big that they think that there may be a galaxy or solar system in there...

but all they’ll probably find is a big black hole.

"If you lived in the now, you'd be home by now."

by McFood on Aug 20, 2008 2:43 PM PDT up 0 recs

Hey, they would find a big hole, even if he wasn't black

by theblackpearl on Aug 20, 2008 3:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

or, perhaps, Uranus

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 3:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

Barkley is the Joe Morgan of basketball

Every day is just a little worse than the previous, that means every day is the worst day of my life.

by shooting4life on Aug 20, 2008 3:22 PM PDT up 0 recs

Except that he's funny

A funny blowhard is much better TV than a holier-than-thou one. Especially when the latter is proud of his ignorance on certain important issues.

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 20, 2008 8:54 PM PDT up 0 recs

three network channels for barkley's colonoscopy

and the A’s can’t get all their games televised? Perhaps this should be a promotional tie-in the A’s should get into…

"Don't be an ass!" --Bill King

by batgirl on Aug 20, 2008 3:48 PM PDT up 0 recs

I ain't watchin' Charles' hole-o-scope without free kraut

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 20, 2008 4:40 PM PDT up 0 recs

I was thinking something more local

More like “Join us on the 23rd to see your Oakland Athletics take on Joe Mauer and the Twins— don’t forget to stick around for CSN Bay Area’s Post Game LIVE for Alan Embree’s colonoscopy!”

"Don't be an ass!" --Bill King

by batgirl on Aug 20, 2008 4:52 PM PDT up 0 recs

Or instead of the drawing for the laser surgery in the sixth inning?

Polynesian Sauce may not be available in all locations.

by Englishmajor on Aug 20, 2008 10:32 PM PDT up 0 recs

Biggest arse? Wouldn't we be watching a Bartolo Colonoscopy?

I generally bemoan the profusion of Mr Sabermetric Sporks in the Scrabble ranks who don't know the meaning or usage of 50% of the words they use. -monkeyball

by JediLeroy on Aug 20, 2008 4:57 PM PDT up 0 recs

I'm not an asshole (some would disagree), nor do I play one on AN (ditto), but:

— why does the linked article think a colonoscopy has anything to do with prostate cancer? That’s the ol’ latexed digit test, abetted by a PSA blood test.

I asked the doc to leave me awake for my first c-scopy, as I wanted to see what it looked like in there. It was not very uncomfortable, but neither was it very interesting — looked like the inside of a dryer vent hose. And no, my head was not found. Anyway — don’t bother staying awake, but do get it done.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Aug 20, 2008 5:13 PM PDT up 0 recs