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50 Ways to Leave Your Runners

The problem is all your offensive philosophy
The answer is easy if you take a called strike three
I'd like to help you in your quest for LOB
There must be fifty ways to leave your runners

Star-divide

He said we hitters could all manage to collude
Furthermore, the baserunners feet to the bases will stay glued
And we'll repeat it all even though we will be booed
There must be fifty ways to leave your runners
Fifty ways to leave your runners

You just take a weak hack, Jack
Swing like a clown, Brown
You don't need RBI, Ry
Make out number three
Let your bat rust, Cust
You don't hit in the clutch much
Just GIDP Bobby
For out number three

He said it grieves me so to see us score a run
I wish there was something I could do to make the games less fun
I said I hope that we'll end up with draft pick number one
'Cause of the fifty ways

He said why don't we try to earn a DFA
With the bases full we could pop up or get a swinging K
And then I followed him and I grounded into a double play
There must be fifty ways to leave your runners
Fifty ways to leave your runners

You just take a weak hack, Jack
Swing like a clown, Brown
You don't need RBI, Ry
Make out number three
Let your bat rust, Cust
You don't hit in the clutch much
Just GIDP Bobby
For out number three

(Original lyrics here)

20 recs  |  Comment 40 comments

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awesome

Might I suggest embedding a youtube of this, so we all can hum along?

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 11, 2008 2:14 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I had that on, even without the link!

The A's colors are green and gold.

by mikeA on Aug 11, 2008 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

fer shur

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 11, 2008 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thanks

I’m not crazy about all of the verses, but the chorus pretty much wrote itself.

I’ll have to check out the youtube link when I’m at home.

"May a nit suck Cajun geese?" wonders Red. No, we see gnu Jack Cust in a yam.

by andeux on Aug 11, 2008 3:15 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

[flashes poetic learner’s permit again since it didn’t show up the first time]

"May a nit suck Cajun geese?" wonders Red. No, we see gnu Jack Cust in a yam.

by andeux on Aug 11, 2008 3:17 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Nice - let me add:

Hang the guy out to dry, Tye
Run into out #3, Tony D
“A walk’s as good as a LOB,” says Bob
Make excuses for all…

...there’s 50 ways to leave your runners.

His bat’s slow, van Burkeleo
and too far from the plate (swings late)
“You put my guy in a slump, ump!”
Make excuses for all…

...there’s 50 ways to leave your runners.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 11, 2008 2:21 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

50 Way's to Leave Your Runners,

Damn! Thats so good and so bad at the same time,

A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards.

by lynnzgal on Aug 11, 2008 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Chortle!

They want to steal the land papers which is why they have tried to break in. But they had to give up after being bitten by Chhotu.

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Aug 11, 2008 3:19 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Very funny!

You deserve your license

"And sometimes, when it seems like all hope is gone, Life tosses you a special gift of a baseball game" . 7/10/08 BaseBallGirl headline

by LongTimeFan on Aug 11, 2008 4:00 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Very well done!!

"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL

by oblique on Aug 11, 2008 4:29 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Nice.

Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.

by salb918 on Aug 11, 2008 4:32 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Nice.

Especially You don’t hit in the clutch much, I can hear that one.

Here’s the youtube of a great performance of this song: here

(sorry, don’t know how to embed the video…)

by lurkerD on Aug 11, 2008 4:36 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Sadly, neither does AN

I generally bemoan the profusion of Mr Sabermetric Sporks in the Scrabble ranks who don't know the meaning or usage of 50% of the words they use. -monkeyball

by JediLeroy on Aug 11, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Ah

I guess I’m in good company then. I guess they can be embedded in the body of a fanpost but not a comment, eh?

by lurkerD on Aug 12, 2008 12:12 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well done!

Nice to know the A’s can still be the source of inspiration!

Chocolate Marshmallow

by Ice Cream on Aug 11, 2008 5:44 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

LMAO

Brilliance … absolute brilliance.

I needed a team so I wouldn’t turn into one of the eighty million pink hat-wearing Bud Light-drinking mulleted idiots at Fenway.

by Vacafan on Aug 11, 2008 5:46 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

excellent work

Excellent all the way around

by A'sfaninNC on Aug 11, 2008 5:52 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I look forward to the companion piece

50 Ways to Gut Your Roster

They want to steal the land papers which is why they have tried to break in. But they had to give up after being bitten by Chhotu.

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Aug 11, 2008 5:55 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This. is. great.

"And Julio Franco is batting right-handed!" -- Wayne Hagin, A's radio play-by-play, mid-80s

by Nick on Aug 11, 2008 6:25 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Awesome.

I hope you get paid to write, because you certainly have the creativity and talent.

"Innings eater? Depends on whether you want delicious innings or burnt, moldy innings. Kirk Saarloos is the Hot Pockets of inning eaters." - Gallagher's Watermelons

by notsellingjeans on Aug 11, 2008 6:45 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I added my rec to the impressive pile.

It’s good to be able to laugh at it, since it’s so painful to actually watch.

by Faust on Aug 11, 2008 6:50 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Yay!

There's no textbook for how to treat a geriatric tapir.

by Poppy on Aug 11, 2008 9:16 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

quite right.

quite right.

bully show and all that.

every winning streak ends with taking your underpants off. @('.')@

by Leopold Bloom on Aug 11, 2008 10:08 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Don't

A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards.

by lynnzgal on Aug 11, 2008 11:10 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Please, don't

A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards.

by lynnzgal on Aug 11, 2008 11:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It 's Fine

Whatever you wan’t.

A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards.

by lynnzgal on Aug 11, 2008 11:18 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

k..

every winning streak ends with taking your underpants off. @('.')@

by Leopold Bloom on Aug 12, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Excellent work

(Formerly Nobody Girl)
"We are a complete freak show." -- Billy Beane

by day-to-day on Aug 12, 2008 12:04 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This is one my highlights of the year!

It should be in the DLD today.

[Crosby] "Guy that has driven in some big runs for the A's over the years" - Vince Cotroneo

by WaddellCanseco on Aug 12, 2008 12:12 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

creative bunch, ANers...

especially, when they’re in pain.

Foolsh, the most insane regular poster on AN since oaktoon left - salb

by FoolshGame22 on Aug 12, 2008 12:12 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

This was so much fun to read.

I am going to start keeping a folder of the song parodies that I really like. I am going to send this to all of my A’s friends that don’t post on AN so that they can see what they are missing!

by IM4Oakgal on Aug 12, 2008 11:03 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Yesterday morning,

I had actually written the first verse of an A’s version of Jackson Browne’s “The Pretender,” but I can’t finish it now. The rest of it is apparently too ashamed to reveal itself to me, since I read this.

andeux, monkeyball and FSU give me creative shrinkage…

There's no textbook for how to treat a geriatric tapir.

by Poppy on Aug 12, 2008 1:15 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Bah

Just give it your best shot and post it.
Any shortcomings you may perceive in your own work of this sort will probably not be noticed by the audience.

I very much appreciate all of the recommendations and plaudits here (who doesn’t like the occasional ego boost?), but I still don’t feel like I belong in the esteemed company of those other two.

"May a nit suck Cajun geese?" wonders Red. No, we see gnu Jack Cust in a yam.

by andeux on Aug 12, 2008 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It shrinks?!?

There were a lot of stupid, long confusing words that I’m sure normal people don’t use. @('.')@

by monkeyball on Aug 12, 2008 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Why does it shrink?

[Crosby] "Guy that has driven in some big runs for the A's over the years" - Vince Cotroneo

by WaddellCanseco on Aug 12, 2008 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That's a question for your shrink

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 12, 2008 10:53 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

How would she know?

[Crosby] "Guy that has driven in some big runs for the A's over the years" - Vince Cotroneo

by WaddellCanseco on Aug 13, 2008 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Honestly, I think the "play therapy" has gotten out of hand

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 14, 2008 9:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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