The problem is all your offensive philosophy
The answer is easy if you take a called strike three
I'd like to help you in your quest for LOB
There must be fifty ways to leave your runners
He said we hitters could all manage to collude
Furthermore, the baserunners feet to the bases will stay glued
And we'll repeat it all even though we will be booed
There must be fifty ways to leave your runners
Fifty ways to leave your runners

You just take a weak hack, Jack
Swing like a clown, Brown
You don't need RBI, Ry
Make out number three
Let your bat rust, Cust
You don't hit in the clutch much
Just GIDP Bobby
For out number three

He said it grieves me so to see us score a run
I wish there was something I could do to make the games less fun
I said I hope that we'll end up with draft pick number one
'Cause of the fifty ways

He said why don't we try to earn a DFA
With the bases full we could pop up or get a swinging K
And then I followed him and I grounded into a double play
There must be fifty ways to leave your runners
Fifty ways to leave your runners

You just take a weak hack, Jack
Swing like a clown, Brown
You don't need RBI, Ry
Make out number three
Let your bat rust, Cust
You don't hit in the clutch much
Just GIDP Bobby
For out number three

(Original lyrics here)