What we need is a good moustache

What is the answer to our offensive woes?

 Maybe we don't need another right handed bat. Maybe we just need a good moustache. Perhaps Billy can offer each player $500 if they can grow a moustache before the start of the second half, and thus we can channel the swagger and the spirit of the Moustache Gang, The Swingin' A's.

The '72 World Series against the Reds was termed "The Hairs vs. the Big Squares," as the Reds wore more traditional uniforms and required their players to be clean-shaven and short-haired. The A's were called the Moustache Gang. The A's seven-game victory over the heavily favored Reds gave the team its first World Series Championship since 1930.

Maybe this team is just too darn nice. I mean, how about Chad Gaudin throwing down with Blanton in the bullpen, telling him that he sucks and that he deserves to be in the starting rotation.

Rollie Fingers and Blue Moon Odom had been involved in a pre-Series fist fight that destroyed any camaraderie in the bullpen. Despite the political overtones, Oakland maintained its hold on the American League and prepared to meet the National League champion Los Angeles Dodgers in the first all-West Coast Classic.

How about Mike Sweeney back handing Custy and telling him that  he needs to go back to his own hitting school. Instead of cowering at the end of the bench toward the end of the game, Gerg Smith should march right up to Geren, spit on his shoes, and say "I am pitching a complete game, I dare you to take me out." Maybe in the press Geren should just come right out and say "our hitters are sucking wind and need to step up or will be benched!"

Ok, obviously I am bored and just wanted to have some fun today, but maybe there is something we can learn from our roots. The Swingin' A's had attitude, they were brash and had swagger. This team just seems so gosh darn......nice! How about a little controversy? Let's mix stuff up a bit! Is anyone going to call out Blanton and challenge him to step up? Nothing like a good bench clearing brawl to bring a team together, light a fire under them.

I don't know what the answer is, heck, I am just a fan. But I do know that we need to do something, or we are going to just float along in another "just good enough to almost make it" season. Hopefully The Big Hurt comes back soon, or Patrol Craft and Lil Sweeney go on some ridiculous hitting tear and ignites a fire under this team in the second half.

I say, BRING BACK THE 'STACHE!