Let's start with LOLGalt from FoolshGame22... I have no idea what stupid thing the A's had just done when he posted this picture, but the context doesn't matter because the picture cracks me up.

On to the wordier part of the fAnPoSt. Thanks to a major assist from Jennifer (because my sense of humor was broken for most of the past month), and lots & lots of things that the rest of you tagged with "QOTM" replies throughout the month... and AN 3.0's hawt Search Function that enabled me to actually utilize all your "QOTM" tags... here they are!

Nick: So according to Baseball Tonight, the Yankees and Red Sox arfe going to play some sort of weird game in July where they combine their rosters and play together on the same team! No, wait—they were just showing the leaders so far in the All-Star voting.

McFood: EVERYONE thinks they are a "half full" person, it’s just that they don’t realize what they’re "half full" of.

Rickeyfan (after Cust's game-ending 11th-inning walkoff RBI infield single): Cust - "I just let my speed take over"... can a player get nominated for QOTM?
(Why the hell not? -Ed.)

OldhamA: You know something's up when you're confident with Crosby up at the plate. It's a weird feeling.

Nick: Every time someone uses "Crosby" and "MVP" in the same sentence, an angel waves at an outside slider in the dirt. Hopefully Vlad.

Englishmajor: Don't throw at Izturis's head... That's just not decent and sportsmanlike. Aim at his crotch.

iglew: Giambi's new motto: Dope like an all-star, thong like a rock-star, 'stache like a porn-star.

Brian in 317 (While attending an A's-Giants game at AT&T Park): About the sixth inning I noticed the lights at the Coliseum were on (but perhaps not yet taking effect). It was cool… like headquarters beaming a message to distant adventurers.

oaklandSMASH (re: Magglio Ordoñez): He looks like the adult Dora the Explorer.

Nick: Oh, God -- Lackey bobbleheads... I bet they need to put a shock absorber spring in it to make the head bob up and down.

(from a diary about what a "team source" had to say about Street's status & injury)
"The second interesting thing is that this 'team source' ... with his rather biting "some people see that as a save situation" comment, is clearly taking a slap at Geren."
Future Ed: how does Kotsay know about this?

WaddellCanseco: Those 1990 players were really skinny. I'm glad our society can afford to feed its people now.

pam5981: If I'm gonna have to be optimistic, I'm damn sure gonna do it begrudgingly.

SwampyD on Juan Rivera's bonehead LF error: zzzzzzzzzzzz oh I play outfield

Coach Cleats:
Greg Smith...7 innings, 3 hits...I'm not impressed.
Sincerely,
Rich Aurilia

Englishmajor: The ads on that site are a little ... strange. I would have assumed that people who were interested in looking at pictures of cats would not be the ideal target audience for that sort of thing. Could a computer-assisted ad placement service have misconstrued "pussies"?

A'sfaninNC: If Davis homers, I'm going to the bomb shelter.

oaklandSMASH (an hour later): Beane to other GMs: Trade for Rajai and not only do you get speed, but you get a Bomb Shelter!!

iglew: Black is white! White is black!

xbhaskarx: white esurance sign behind home plate... oh so that’s why durham is an absolutely terrible defensive second baseman..

(after Carlos Gonzalez' catch against the fence)
Jennifer: Okay. Anyone else yell SPLAT! on the replay?

Englishmajor: Actually, all my friends who are Giants fans are always suggesting we take Zito back

Roald Dahl Reference OTM
PaulThomas: I love Andrew Brown. He marches to the beat of his own drummer. He's like the A's version of the B.F.G.

Blessing OTM
paradox: Peace and bongs to all on the scene, didn't mean to get heavy…

mikeA: Exclusive photo of Andrew Brown riding his bike to the game

Nico: It's pathetic... And then the A's wonder why no one comes to the games. Who knows about them?
DMOAS: At least I know where my pants are today.

Blez: Damn... Should've swung at that 3-1 pitch. It was a cookie.
Nico: He was probably expecting a baseball

Nick: Who's grumpier: Jim Leyland or Bobby Cox?
ohtobe21likehuston: Hypothetical- are Leyland's cigarettes missing in this scenario?

Nico: Wow - Joba's debut lasted all of 2.1 IP... 62 pitches, 32 strikes (4 BBs, 2 runs). B'bye, Jobs
PaulThomas: Adrenaline: Use Sparingly

baseballgirl: PUDGE NEVER DROPS THE BALL!!! CHAVY WAS DEAD!!!!!!!
Jennifer: He might still be dead... Did you see him dragging his legs across the plate?! He looked like Lt. Dan when he fell out of his wheelchair.

oaklandSMASH: "Why did it have to be worms?" said Midget Indiana Jones.
oblique: Rhode Island Jones

(in a late-night game thread)
twinkle toes: OT... Does anyone know of a good site to find current defensive stats?
louismg: Now? You want them now? We're in extra innings. Focus!

Nick: I'm not big on curtain calls, but I think Eric deserves one.
One won lost won: with the attendance at the Coli... no curtain call, just an individual high-five with each fan

thejd44: The A's lineup makes me a bit queasy... Not blaming Geren, but, ew.
green star oakland: Yeah - that bottom half is more of a murderees row

FreeSeatUpgrade: Boy, do I not like John Lackey... He's one of my top three loathed opponents. But he sure is good.
Flashfire: Looking at his face is like staring into the depths of a black hole. I can imagine it sucking some of the focus away from our hitters.

easyraider: Hudler is such an a-hole... On the Barton play – 'bounced right into his glove…'
Flashfire: Well, it did.
easyraider: After he dove and put his glove in front of it

asfaninpismobeach: Do they make A's condoms?
Jennifer: Yeah, but you'll fail to score.

iglew: Re Chavvy's new look... He just had another baby in March. Maybe that's it.
monkeyball: Larry Davis is advising him to do some kegels exercises

CrackBaby: stupid sun... the US should bomb that shit
oblique:
The Sun: Threat Level Yellow
Nuclear superpower: check
Causes cancer: check
Disrupts communications: check

iglew: I'd like to see Keith Foulke on the same team with Guillermo Quiroz -- The Quiroz Foulke battery.
Flashfire: If that's not in June's QOTM listing it'll be a Travis Stieb

salb918: I was watching with my son, and after Harden's first inning dominance, the little guy said his first words: "Holy crap!"
Nico: I was sure it would be "VORP!" Or maybe it was, and you mistook it for a belch.

Flashfire: I'd love it if Harden and Duke could pitch back-to-back
tresselfan: Why? Which one would face the plate and which one would face CF?

mikeA: ...some guy complained about the jokes surrounding the matchup Wang vs. Ho, because the ensuing jokes implied a mispronunciation of "Wang".
CoryC123: I can see several jokes that could stem from that matchup.. Even with the correct pronunciation of Wang..
mikeA: So you've woken up with the Wang Ho before?

McFood posted link to article: Red Mahogany Paneled Cubicle with Dark Cherry Hardwood Floor.
Ice Cream: They're safer... maple panels tend to shatter after you throw your computer at them.

Zonis: Molina PROBABLY isn't aiming to steal
Nick: If he runs, Suzuki could probably just get up from behind the plate, run down to 2B and tag him out.

(Putting the "PT's quality posts sometimes undermined by his rudeness" issue into baseball context)
Hot Cup Joe: PaulThomas = Carlos Gonzalez... Everyone wants to see the kid hitting for a better average, but when he connects, the quality is obvious. It's more fun to see him in the big leagues, even with the occasional howler, than to watch someone with a fraction of the potential take up space. Plus, we still have him at the league minimum for the next few years….
PaulThomas: I'm more like Jeff Francoeur... I try to be disciplined at the plate, but periodically I just lose it and start hacking at slop all over the place. And my mistakes are magnified because I insist on playing like 162 games a season.

ohtobe21likehuston: Our CEO wears a Speedo and we have mandatory pool parties all of the time. It makes for a long day of trying not to look but then it makes you HAVE to look. Ewe.
doctorK: Time to update your resume

gigglingone: I just got home last night, and what an awesome way to be greeted back into the country…..lots and lots and lots of runs. And then looked again, and more runs. And great pitching. Awesome….
McFood: Was it something you ate? That's what happened to me the last time I came back from a foreign country with the runs.

buckfan6: When is devine due back?
oblique: Easter?

iglew: I'm having trouble squaring this:
I think he could be a passable corner outfielder … ... or DH if Cust is in left How passable can an outfielder be, if given the choice you'd rather put Cust out there?
Nico: "Almost as good defensively as Cust!" is not something agents pull out a lot at the arbitration table.

monkeyball: if he was healthy, would the Yanks dangle Wang?
Taj Adib: A damaged Wang is pretty good for dangling, but not much else.

smellofgrass: When is M. Sweeney due off the DL?
jeepers: About 10 days before he's due to go back on it.

MobiusKlein: Cmon, don't send him out, FTLOG
JediLeroy: $5FTLOG

Zonis: So you want more Righties, but don't want Jason Bay because he's right handed?
CoryC123: He's probably left handed.. He just bats and throws right..

iglew: So if something happens on some East Coast NL team some time this morning, and I don’t read about it till 5:30 pm the same day, that means I’m living in a cave?? Dude, some of us have real jobs...
monkeyball: what if some of us have jobs where we sit in a cave?

PaulThomas: So, your proposal to stop him from signing with them once he hits free agency is… a tire iron? Special Act of Congress? Bill of attainder?
Faust: Let's go with the Bill of Attainder... No one pays any attention to the Constitution these days anyway.

33SwisherSweet: Plus, when chicks ask him what he does for a living he gets to tell them that he sells bobbleheads. How sweet is that?
Flashfire: Then he probably asks them if he could see their bobblehead demonstration.

theblackpearl: We have too many major league GM's on this site, they know it all.
TheDogfather: I think it's called "Premature Exasperation," or "PE"... Ask your doctor if Milk of Amnesia is right for you.

Englishmajor: Francisco is going to throw a chair at Wash
thejd44: With the way he was pitching today, Wash has nothing to worry about. He'll miss.
drink409: hope Wash doesn't jump out of the way & let it hit the woman behind him

Nick: That was a good AB by Barton...
Nico: I'd comment, but I can't Seay the game
IowaA'sFan: You should get Daric-TV.

mikeA: Duke has horrible taste... those unis are an abomination.
andeux: That's in Leviticus, right?
mikeA: yes ...and wearers of black shall be smote.
monkeyball: if projections for (tomorrow's draft) hold, the quotation should actually read: ...and wearers of black and orange shall be smoak.

149: I think Giambi's mustache got in the way of the ball on that one.
thejd44: That'd be amazing since Betemit is the 1B
CoryC123: Giambi's mustache's range factor is insane.

mikeA: If I were a Yankee fan, I wouldn't be a little f**king b**ch and take over some opposing stadium cheering for a lucky pitcher.
iglew: If you were a Yankees fan, yes, you would.
149: pretty sure it's in the definition of "yankees fan"

mikeA: Jason Bartlett is a terrible hitter
nevermoor: But he's scrappy
monkeyball: But is he zesty?
nevermoor: Crunchy?
theblackpearl: Fourth meal?

Gaijin_Suketto: brokin' keyBord cutsy Pasty… mistake?…agree 100%…Grr…freakin' Street…pretend meatball…(and I usually defend him)…Geren's decisions ineffective…Barry juiced…Dana Demuth burned Us…Let's key A.J Pierzynski's car…
Nico: {keys Pierzynski's car}
iglew: {keys Buehrle's hubcaps}

oblique: So here's the new game plan: The opposition drops whatever Chavez hits. Suzuki drives in whoever's left on base. Got it?
Nico: Got it - wait, let me go over it one more time. Street blows the lead…
oblique: Like this:

Pitcher street = Pitcher.new();
Hitter chavez = Hitter.new();
Hitter suzuki = Hitter.new();
Team opposition = Team.new();
Array runners = Array.new();

while (!throwing_up)
{street.blow(lead);
opposition.drop(chavez.popfly(), runners);
for (int i = 0; i < runners.length(); i++)
{suzuki.drive_in(runners[i]);}}

jeepers: I am amazed by how little it takes to be thought of as a douchebag. Do we even need reasons to call someone a douchebag anymore?
Nico: {rolls eyes}... Douchebag.
jeepers: I'm smalltime. More of a douchetote.

nevermoor: I've always thought a jersey is a good compromise. Who needs so many bats.
monkeyball: I've found these new maple bats splinter on the heads of the punks on my lawn
Leopold Bloom: try a firmer grasp with your back hand and choking up on it an inch or so.
monkeyball: useful advice for oh so many things

Nico: And then he leaves Blanton in as the guy gives up four hits in a row! Where was Street?????
monkeyball: on BART... He didn't realize it doesn't go all the way to Phoenix.
Flashfire: That extension is still up for approval
monkeyball: that's what she said

green star oakland: Damn... I go to put Lily to bed, come back and they've scored how many now?
Zonis: man, Ted Lilly makes you come and tuck him in at night? People here in Chicago are so spoiled.
green star oakland: I just lullaby him with a gentle "Li – lly, Li – lly"

HOLY CRAP, THIS DIARY IS LONG. Are you still reading? The weather's beautiful, go outside!

Here, maybe this will scare you into getting the hell away from your computer:

Still here? Okay. Here are links to some funny things that I can't possibly abbreviate or contextualize:

"IOTM";

Lots of us sleep with Mark Ellis;

Pirate bar;

Sideshow Robin;

Jesus in the rotation;

For PaulThomas: QOTM, ironic division;

Nick: "And then David oiled his body, and took up Goliath’s sword, and shaved the hair from his chest therewith. And the people saw that he was shredded, and they said, ‘David will make a mighty King of Israel! And a damn good loincloth model.’" (by the way, I swear I'm not having a fling with Nick, or Nico, or Englishmajor, or iglew, or monkeyball, or anyone else who happens to always show up 53,000 times in the QOTM posts...).

From elsewhere:

Comment from sfgate article on Zito: "The way the Giants play their home games, they should wear their throw-UP uniforms at the next commemorative game!"

Heartbreaking Comment OTM came from LookoutLanding, following Felix's grisly-looking ankle injury: WHY CAN'T WE HAVE NICE THINGS?! (BrettJMiller)

And HAPPY JULY BIRTHDAYS (that we know of) to:
July 10 - saint (saintoakland?)
July 11 - Englishmajor; Nick
July 17 - ArakSOT; Squeaky (formerly cirquegirl##)
July 18 - LAXile
July 25 - BobbyCrosbysGirl
July 26 - griffisgurl; mrrickyg
July 27 - HuskerFan
July 28 - Kyli

(editing the birthdays as needed...)