DLD 7.29.08 Royally Screwed
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 8:12 AM PDT
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PrintWith a name like Greinke, he's got to be good. Welcome to Bizarro A's land.
Posnanski's been hired by the military to discuss Moneyball. Not, as he notes, Michael Lewis or Bill James, but him. While restraining myself from making any sort of political statement here, that seems ill-informed.
Ken Tremendous at FJM had an extended JoeChat the other day, with this little bit in response to the Yankees possibly picking up our favorite lifelike bobblehead:
Joe Morgan: As great a player as he has been, you can't say how well he would do this year because he hasn't had spring training, hasn't had live pitching to hit against, and hasn't played period. [...] I'm not sure why Barry wants to play, since playing less than half a season would make him a hired gun, and his place in the history of the game is better than a hired gun.
This...this is why we do what we do.
Barry Bonds shouldn't come back this year...because it would tarnish his reputation?
Barry Bonds.
Being a "hired gun" would tarnish.
his repu.
tation.
Here are things that could tarnish Barry Bonds's reputation, at this point:
1. Committing double murder of Tom Brokaw and Dame Judi Dench
2. Defecting to Afghanistan, joining Taliban, leading Afghan baseball team to Gold medal over American team in Beijing
3. Running high-end dog fighting ring where the dog fights take place on Princess Diana's grave
4. Inventing time travel but instead of traveling back in time to kill Hitler using it to go back to 1989 in order to start taking steroids earlier than he originally didThings that will not make a motherfletching dent in Barry Bonds's reputation:
1. Being labeled a "hired gun" by playing for the Yankees
dak at self-same spot sez we're like a walking razor, don't you watch our size, we're dangerous, we're so dangerous. Or we were in 2006. Hmm, never realized how much Peter Tosh looked like Avon Barksdale til right then...
SuSlu sez some old friends may soon drop in...
Someone's going to the courthouse this morning...
And if you missed Blez's link last night, Huddy's future's not too bright right now.
Dump away.
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Need to cry this morning?
Here – One year later, Coolbaugh’s family keeps memories close
The first paragraph did me in:
Eight months old, and Anne Coolbaugh recently said her first word. It was “Dad.” She says it when she touches his picture.
Mark Ellis: sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows
Thanks
I needed to brought horribly down this morning.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 9:09 AM PDT up reply actions
Spreading joy and happiness?
You and Mark Ellis, working in cohesion, to bring more sunshine to the world.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 9:19 AM PDT up reply actions
Rookie-league Vancouver outfielder J.D. Pruitt was struck in the back of the helmet by a pitch and was taken off the field on a stretcher Sunday at Tri City (Wash). He has been released from the hospital and will miss seven to 10 days with a concussion. ... Class-A Kane County (Ill.) is playing Peoria tonight at Wrigley Field. It is believed to be the first minor-league game at Wrigley.
facepalm.jpg
Why they playing at Wrigley?
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 9:09 AM PDT up reply actions
That's a ridiculous statement
The Cubs have been playing minor league ball at Wrigley for 90-something years.
http://bocropleasestopswingingatbadpitches.blogspot.com/
by thejd44 on Jul 29, 2008 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions
J.D. Pruitt was injured by being hit by a pitch?
My God. I would never have guessed that one.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
Holy crap
I just looked up his numbers. 34 HBP in 180 ABs last year. Does he, like, not understand that a 90 mph projectile probably isn’t something you should stand in front of?
by thejd44 on Jul 29, 2008 11:55 PM PDT up reply actions
JD Pruitt: Proving That HBP Is A Repeatable Skill Since 2007
Look up his college numbers, too. I believe he set the conference single-season record in his final year.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
For those who like parody newspapers
Not the LA Times, giving amusement to some of the former staff of that once-fine paper. My favorite part is the new owner’s advisory to staff:
You know how professors sometimes warn students at the beginning of a semester, “Look at the person on your left, and then the person on your right, because by the end of the class, one of you won’t make it”? Well, let me explain Tribune’s Plan B this way: Look at the co-worker on your left, and then the one on your right. By the time we’re done, both of them will be #@!%ed, and so will you.
that Posnanski item is priceless ...
... but, yes, virtually impossible to comment/riff/joke on w/o preemptively invading veering into CGV territory.
Worse than being dead is being hot. @('.')@
I cannot begin
to stress to you how strongly we are in agreement on our non-commenting.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 10:29 AM PDT up reply actions
80-85 wins? Yes.
I live your new tag, BTW. And when I’m using you for a tag, can I use your emonkeycon or would you have to charge royalties?
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions
FREE EMONKEYCONS NOW!!!
And the sigline is a recent quote from Brian De Palma.
Worse than being dead is being hot. @('.')@
Ziegler on Deadspin
Deadspin did a bit of a post on Ziegler, including a link to his AN page. Gotta love the title:
http://deadspin.com/5030375/brad-zieglers-goofy+assed-delivery-unhittable-so-far
Niners Nation - The premier 49ers blog on the Internet!
Beane chews tobacco...TRADE HIM NOW!
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080630&content_id=3037249&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb
I am Ray Fosse's infatuations with Clay Wood and high-definition television.
great . . .
...now I want a cigarette.
Bob Geren, on 8/2/07, on the success of Alan Embree as new interim closer: "What can I say,... he's been our Steady Tremendous Bullpen Man"
by popcornjames on Jul 29, 2008 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens indicted
But if Stevens goes away, who will run the Internet now?
facepalm.jpg
Angels and DBacks pushing hard for Mark Teixiera
Angels also want a RP from the Braves, and would give up Casey Kotchan as the centerpiece in the trade if it was made.
The Angels NEVER make trades, so I’d be supprised if they made it, but hey, go for it Angels. I’d love it if the Angels emptied their farm system for a 2 month rental.
facepalm.jpg
Don't know about this one.
Teixiera has played for enough non contending teams already. If the Angels make a deep run he may be content to sign with them in the off season. Do. Not. Want. Although I’d be happy to see Kotchman gone.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
Please Please Please
keep that certified A’s-killer out of our division.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Which one? Kotchman or Tex?
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
Texiera from when he first came up
always just killed us. I haven’t noticed it as much from Kotchman, but usually Texiera was surrounded by bad teams when he was hurting us, so….
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 2:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Tex vs. Oakland: .278/.392/.552
Kotchman vs. Oakland: .209/.270/.275
Yes, this does not bode well if he signs an extension with the Angels.
by thejd44 on Jul 30, 2008 12:00 AM PDT up reply actions
Tex vs. 2010 Oakland pitchers: ~5-15 PAs (not counting next year)
Kotchmann vs. 2010 Oakland pitchers: ~5-15 PAs
If they sign Texeira, that’s a pretty good improvement on Kotchmann, but their numbers against A’s pitchers have nothing to do with it. (And would have very very very little to do with it if even if we were dealing with the same matchups that produced those numbers.)
The A's colors are green and gold.
Hm
If they’re trading Kotchman, they have to figure on re-signing Tex. But that will neither be easy nor cheap. And Tex is not actually that much better than Kotchman, who’s a similarly good fielder and only about 10 runs worse offensively.
I’m hoping they do it. I’m assuming they’d have to give up an SP prospect as well, which would further damage their rotation depth.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
I support your sausage.
In fact, I’ve got pictures to that effect, and if you don’t send me $3,000 a month…
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions
I support your sausage.
In fact, I’ve got pictures to that effect, and if you don’t send me $3,000 a month…
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions
I like your math.
And the significantly greater lifestyle that 6K will fetch as opposed to 3…you are correct, sir.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions
Drats!
Foiled again.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions
"In fact, most people can't even tell the difference between an ersatz vegan sausage and the real thing."
In a pig’s eye!
They want to steal the land papers which is why they have tried to break in. But they had to give up after being bitten by Chhotu.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jul 29, 2008 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions
My sentiments exactly.
I know my tasty dead animal flesh.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
Well, apparently that just means you're both fascists.
According to the article.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions
you can really taste the pig's eye...
mmmm….good eye….
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions
If I weren't 3,000 miles away,
I’d definitely be getting in on that.
I’ve heard The Best Leadoff Hitter in History will be there, making RBF.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions
Announcement from last night's game thread:
I have $50 for the person who gets me a mug signed by Ryan Bear. The mug must be signed with the following:Jennifer,
We’ll always have
With Love,OsceolaKum and Go!
Your Swooney
Mark Ellis: sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows
I'm sick,
but skipping tonight’s game so I can hopefully go tomorrow.
There's no textbook for how to treat a geriatric tapir.
I will FexEx you some meds and chicken soup.
Mark Ellis: sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows
is that a typo for "FelixEx" (hand-delivered by Felix Fermin), or "SexEx"?
Worse than being dead is being hot. @('.')@
Didn't it used to start at 11?
Everything for this year says it starts at 10:35. What did we do to deserve an extra half-hour of root beer float madness?
by whiteshoes40 on Jul 29, 2008 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions
But they go by so quick...
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 6:09 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm thinking about bring root beer and ice cream to work tomorrow
and just making root beer floats in my office. My students already know I’m strange, but if I start charging them for autographs and for their own float, maybe they’ll leave me alone long enough to listen to the game….
There's no crying in baseball!
That's such an awesome idea
That I might just steal it.
They want to steal the land papers which is why they have tried to break in. But they had to give up after being bitten by Chhotu.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jul 29, 2008 10:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Won't that kill you?
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:33 PM PDT up reply actions
Who still uses liquid White-Out?
Gots to be the tape stuff.
Mark Ellis: sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows
Bastard!
I was using that for corrections and stuff, too…
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! --Monkeyball
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:49 PM PDT up reply actions
I've heard it's not lethal.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Have I mentioned how money
I think Blevins is? He’s got ice-water pumping through those frail, little-girl arms of his.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions
just perused the Nicollete Sheridan
photos on mlb yahoo at Dodger’s game. whew!
home this afternoon with cold…hope to awake by game time.
alaska A
Sadly,
I must return to work. I’ve enjoyed the last two weeks, lazing around the house, doing nothing, perusing AN. Well, at least now my employer can go back to subsidizing the latter.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
I tend to do a lot of both
at work and away from work. Perhaps (as I can hear you think) too much. I need a 12-step program to kick AN…
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions
Don't you work for your brother?
He deserves to subsidize your internet habits…..seeing that he’s responsible for your banishment to the land of two coasts with marsh and malaria in betwixt.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
Oh if only poetic ramblings
matched the landscape.
And good point. He does owe me.
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions
Skigurl has a great seat for sale
right behind the plate. She’s in Oakland, so you might be able to hook-up.
"And sometimes, when it seems like all hope is gone, Life tosses you a special gift of a baseball game" . 7/10/08 BaseBallGirl headline
Done.
http://myespn.go.com/s/conversations/show/story/3510036
Any way the Angels re-sign Teix? Boras is rumored to be asking 8 years $20M+.
If not, this sure helps our 2009-2010 back to relevance plans.
This morning my commute partner and I heard a guy on the radio...
who had woken up one day 3 years ago, permanently blind from a brain parasite. My partner responded “Ooh! There’s nothing worse than that!”
Immediately I began to think of potentially worse situations. So I asked him, and I put it out there for you too, AN: Would rather be blind for the rest of your life, or have your equipment removed? Ladies, apply the appropriate scenario to yourselves.
"If you lived in the now, you'd be home by now."
Um..
Re: 1. You could wake up blind, deaf, mute, quadriplegic and unable to smell at the same time. I’m pretty sure that’s much worse. Tack on waking up dead to the mix as well. Plenty of things that are significantly worse than waking up without sight.
In search of a new signature. Say something funny and you may see your comment here!
That post was a parody of one I made several days ago
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
Plenty of blind people have gone on to have long careers...
...as major league umpires.
"If you lived in the now, you'd be home by now."
I want blood parasites, you can have brain parasites
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
Just got finished reading yesterday's DLD...
where a bunch of people wished Jennifer a happy birthday, despite the fact that it was not her birthday. But it was Kyli’s birthday.
Happy Birthday yesterday, Kyli!
There's no textbook for how to treat a geriatric tapir.
Aw!
Happy Birthday Kyli!
Mark Ellis: sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows
Happy Birthday, Jennifer!
Can Magic Sprinkles Now!!! @('.')@
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 29, 2008 6:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Thanks!
I’ll remember that when January rolls around.
Mark Ellis: sent down from Heaven to rob Evil of hits and hand out rainbows
Beane fielding offers for Street still
A’s GM Billy Beane is fielding offers from teams and still may deal closer Huston Street. The Dodgers, Rays, Brewers, White Sox and Mets have all checked in. It’s believed the Mets are reluctant to surrender their top prospects, though, so it may be tough for them to get Street. Another possibility for the Mets would be to promote hard-throwing reliever Eddie Kunz at some point this year.
facepalm.jpg
I would bet a lot that he just copied that list from Slusser, which was sort of outdated even several days ago when she wrote it
The A's colors are green and gold.
Considering that it's Heyman
Yeah, I’d be inclined top agree with you.
RagingHarden: Yeah if you get 20 starts out of me I'll be shocked. Like, I'll wreck my drawers.
by walk off bunt on Jul 30, 2008 7:55 AM PDT up reply actions
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