Baseball Gods, hear my supplication!
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:14 PM PDT
Email
PrintLadies and gentlemen, I'm not sure that radio and/or television can convey how truly pathetic this team looked tonight. You had to be there in person, suffering the humiliation of wearing your team's colors while the home team stomped them like the cops, en masse, taking down an emaciated, delusional meth-head who thinks the voices he hears have given him magical powers.
Ten K's. I got a free pizza. For watching my team demoralized before another team's crowd. The A's get publicly eviscerated and I get a free pizza.
Allow me to speak directly to the 25 men we brought with us to the greater Tampa/St. Pete region:
"Fellas, I know the Yankees series sucked, I know the way the Angels series ended sucked, but DAMN IT, YOU'RE NOT THE GOD DAMN ROYALS! NOW GET OFF YOUR ASSES AND PLAY WITH A LITTLE BIT OF PRIDE AND REALIZE THERE ARE STILL SOME OF US OUT HERE THAT BLEED GREEN AND GOLD!"
"I have suffered through the eighties and I have suffered through the nineties, but I've never been embarrassed to be an A's fan, until tonight. That was pathetic. I would have preferred that the 25 of you failed to appear at the Trop tonight than to bestow upon us the performance you gave."
(exhales)
Now, that said, I think we can move forward. They will not continue to look as pathetic as they looked tonight. They simply could not. To remain that apathetic to the baseball to be played that lies before them would hurt them on a individual level.
Also to that end, please allow me the following:
Baseball Gods, I humbly and solemnly burn this ticket with the free pizza it holds in the solemn hope that you will hear my pleas and not allow this team to turn in another performance as listless and pathetic as the one I've witnessed this evening. Please hear my most humble supplications to you. These guys are much better ballplayers and, as angry as their non-participation this evening may have made you, please allow them to move forward from it, strike it from their heads and their hearts and remind them why it is they play this game.
Your humble and loyal servant,
Amen.
...now, let us move forward and never speak of this again.
65 comments
|
5 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Rest assured
Round Table never pulled this bs:
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions
I like how the caption said he was a fan of the Rays and he liked pizza
So basically he’s an American.
Green Hulk Fists
by oaklandSMASH on Jul 22, 2008 1:09 AM PDT up reply actions
Great story linked from there
This is just a fun read.
Who needs competence as long as everyone smiles? @('.')@
That is fun--
one of the more pleasurable things about where I live are the transplants. If you can stomach New Yorkers, Bostonians and folks all across the Midwest, this is an interesting place, though I wish they weren’t all so insistent on this being a great place. If you were really into dealing with other people, it would be pretty cool.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 22, 2008 9:58 AM PDT up reply actions
The baseball gods have received your supplication,
and it is under consideration. You will be notified of their decision in 4-6 weeks.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:29 PM PDT reply actions
If I call once a week,
is that acceptable? Just to see if they’ve made a decision?
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions
Fine
but be sure not to call between 11 AM and 3 PM. The baseball gods love their siestas.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:33 PM PDT up reply actions
If you don't show the
proper respect and capitalize Baseball Gods, They will smite you. And I don’t want Them to smite you—we like the same team.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Even if I'm an agnostic?
Won’t they sense that I’m being disingenuous?
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Hmm,
Good point. Kinda like Joker in Full Metal Jacket…let me ponder this one…
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Dude, take the free pizza
At least you get something out of that.
Last of the Ninth - Photography Site
jamesvenes.com - Blog
Flashfire is right
Unfortunately, you’ll have to eat it in Florida.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:45 PM PDT up reply actions
damn,
I miss Round Table…or, if any of you are northerners…Mary’s Pizza Shack….I’d hit my grandma, closed-fist, in the face, for some of their pesto bread sticks….and I’m a pacifist.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions
Round Table is very good for a chain
A couple of other really good local pizza places are Steve’s Place in Davis, Skipallini’s in Concord/Clayton, and some Chicago-style pizza place in downtown Petaluma.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:50 PM PDT up reply actions
Old Chicago, baby!
It had better Chicago style pizza than any place I ate at IN CHICAGO.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:51 PM PDT up reply actions
That's the one
Best pizza I’ve ever had. I need to go back soon.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:52 PM PDT up reply actions
You and me both...
they put corn meal in their crust. They’re not alone in that—there are places in Chicago that do that too, but not like OC…
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:53 PM PDT up reply actions
Did you watch Arrested Development when it was on?
Gob Bluth would always refer to Orange County as the OC, and Michael Bluth would always say “Don’t call it that.” Miss that show.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 9:58 PM PDT up reply actions
I LOVED that show.
I actually just quoted it in one of the other posts….
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:59 PM PDT up reply actions
I keep hearing rumors about a movie
If they do it, it better be as good as the show. I guess one big advantage they would have is being able to curse.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 10:04 PM PDT up reply actions
They shouldn't have cancelled it so quickly, though
that’s what networks do. They should’ve been on an HBO or something, though I think that would’ve made the show significantly different.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions
They were in talks with Showtime
It was so funny when they alluded to the possible move to Showtime in the final season. But you’re right, they cancel the good shows too soon and leave shows like According to Jim on forever.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 10:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinder
Best pizza joint in Chicago
Green Hulk Fists
by oaklandSMASH on Jul 22, 2008 1:10 AM PDT up reply actions
Can't speak to it
I was stationed on the southside and generally speaking shared the area’s loathing/resentment for all things north. But had I known, I would’ve overcome that shit right quick.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 22, 2008 7:18 AM PDT up reply actions
Heresy
Giordanos, Eduardos, Baccinos, et al. have dispatched their goons. Expect crippling physical injuries in 45-70 minutes.
Can't speak on Baccinos
but I had a Giordanos two blocks from my house, and an Eduados in my neighborhood. Old Chicago was and is considerably better than both. And if you’ve never been to Old chicago in Petaluma, I suggest you try it before sending goons (though if they came with pizza and not to cripple, you could send them—both Eduardos and Giordianos are delicious, just not Old Chicago, IMO)
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 22, 2008 7:15 AM PDT up reply actions
I'll admit I haven't tried it, but I did look at the website
The pizzas aren’t even stuffed (at least in the images I saw). This is a serious flaw in your argument that might just be irredeemable.
Trust me,
they are.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 22, 2008 10:39 AM PDT up reply actions
Steve's Place
Truly great pizza – thanks for mentioning it, now I’m starving.
"There's m'fn sprinklers on the m'fn infield!'" - Ice Cream (AN), 6/13/08
Never had Steve's
but I’ve had Skappalini’s and there were a couple from Berkeley that really made the grade too…I forget their names now.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 10:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Blondie's is good
different style, but good—they got one in Concord too, or they used to…that’s not the one I’m thinking of.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 10:02 PM PDT up reply actions
There you go.
That’s one of them. Seems like there was another too…
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 10:13 PM PDT up reply actions
I think Blondie's and Zachary's are the only
pizza places I’ve been to in Berkeley. Zachary’s is certainly better, but I like the convenience and vibe of Blondie’s.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Being right there on Telegraph
certainly helps. If I could sculpt my life, I’d live in Berkeley and have season tickets.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 10:21 PM PDT up reply actions
Are you in Davis/Woodland/Sacramento?
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 10:01 PM PDT up reply actions
Steve's is nothing special
I live in Davis by the way, and I don’t think Steve’s is anything to write home about. It’s really expensive for that matter. The breadsticks on the other hand…
rebuildingseason.blogspot.com
by Rebuilding Season on Jul 21, 2008 11:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Different Strokes...
Are you a Woodstock fan?
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 11:50 PM PDT up reply actions
I like Woodstocks just because it's there
I mean, their dessert pizzas are quite good, but their pizza as well is nothing to write home about. Their Karaoke selection is good on wednesday nights.
The best pizza I’ve had in town is at Symposium to be honest.
rebuildingseason.blogspot.com
by Rebuilding Season on Jul 22, 2008 12:35 AM PDT up reply actions
Sacramento is all about
Zelda’s for deep dish semi-chicago style and Pieces for New York Style…
Both places are conveniently located a block up from each other on 21st street.
Pieces kicks Blondie’s, Zachary’s, Escape From New York, Fat Slice, all their butts…
Zelda’s is more of a best of its’ kind in town situation. It’s definitely not better than Old Chicago.
"All managers are losers, they are the most expendable pieces of furniture on the face of the Earth."- Ted Williams
by Gaijin_Suketto on Jul 22, 2008 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions
I like Mountain Mike's out here in the Bay Area. I go with their white garlic sauce.
Otherwise, I like to make Boboli pizza at home.
Last of the Ninth - Photography Site
jamesvenes.com - Blog
Pizza
Best ones I’ve ever had are Lamppost, Pier 49 (sourdough crust!), and BJ’s (deep dish!).
by Gallagher's Watermelons on Jul 22, 2008 12:45 AM PDT up reply actions
Where are these?
SF proper?
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 22, 2008 7:19 AM PDT up reply actions
Giorgio's is up there with anyone in SF Pizza-land
I might have to have some tomorrow since I’m flying back west for a couple weeks.
Best pizza I ever had was Cottage Inn Pizza in Ann Arbor, MI
Fantastic shit.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
I never had it,
but I HAVE heard of it. It must have been good…
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 22, 2008 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions
You're right.
YOU’RE NOT THE GOD DAMN ROYALS!
The A’s are worse. The Royals are better than the A’s in nearly every team offensive category.
What about Barry?
"Barry who?" Forst said, and I felt like I was in the middle of a knock-knock joke.
Year in, year out, no they're not the Royals
And you know what I mean when I say that. The Royals are the Clippers are the Bengals. There may be flashes of life, but the cart’s broken.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 9:52 PM PDT up reply actions
I am going to sacrifice my Beagle “Ryder” in order this may never repeat itself.
/mAgIc AlTaR bEiNg bUiLt
My religion is A'slamic.
by WhoNeedsReligionWhenYaGotBaseball on Jul 21, 2008 10:28 PM PDT reply actions
Um,
I like pizza and all, but the Baseball Gods don’t want us to be quite that extreme. Baseball Gods like pizza and nachos and garlic fries (they especially love Saag’s hot links with the onions and the peppers sent to their faithful servant in SW Florida), but not so much beagles. Do not sacrifice Snoopy.
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 10:44 PM PDT up reply actions
poor Ryder...
but, sacrifices must be made for the greater good.
Foolsh, the most insane regular poster on AN since oaktoon left - salb
by FoolshGame22 on Jul 21, 2008 10:46 PM PDT up reply actions
You know in the old country, we were taught as young children that there’s no shame in supplicating yourself when you respect someone.
On behalf of the Oakland A’s, the administration, and all of the fans, please accept this as a symbol of our apology and respect.
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05
The baseball gods wish to deliver a dead fish wrapped in a bullet-proof vest
to indicate this season is dead. Try again next year.
by Swooney's Left Foot on Jul 21, 2008 10:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Isn't that Arnold Rothstein?
I hear Nick Dandalos took a lot of his money…
I think we should throw (Barton) head first, into a pool with no water, screaming, "You like THAT? Huh, kid, do you like THAT?" Maybe that’s just the Marine in me, though. -Nico
For the record, I’ve never had a Marine in me. -Swooney's Left Foot
by Leopold Bloom on Jul 21, 2008 11:48 PM PDT up reply actions
You know what you feed a dray horse in the morning if you want a day's work out of him?
Just enough so he knows he’s hungry.
(Yeah yeah yeah, the still is from Matewan.)
Who needs competence as long as everyone smiles? @('.')@
the fan is KING at McAfee Coliseum!
This FanPost had that Leopold Bloom feeling. In spades.
Who needs competence as long as everyone smiles? @('.')@
Screw the baseball gods
“You no help me now, I say, f* you, Jobu. I do it myself.”
I’m waiting to hear something like this from the A’s.
Cust, I’m looking at you!
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recommended FanPosts
Recent FanPosts
Baseball Nation Recent Stories
In Association With
Big League Stew - MLB - Yahoo! Sports
- Ask Alex: Can Jose Reyes repeat as NL batting champ?
- U.S. Cellular Field: Home of the Chicago Cubs?
- MLB Fan Cave candidate explains the stories behind his 30 MLB mascot tattoos
- Kate Upton’s new MLB 2K12 ad is really something
- Five tips for Showtime’s second season of ‘The Franchise,’ featuring the Miami Marlins
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
