FanPost

Slightly Outdated Canseco News

In one of the more surreal developments of my week, Jose Canseco got smoked by Vai Sikahema in Atlantic City last Sunday:

http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/126/story/204427.html

Or, for the more visually inclined among us:

 

There are several things about this that make me happy:

1) When Canseco made this challenge, I’m willing to bet he was expecting Will Ferrel to step up.  Or perhaps Keifer Sutherland.  (Or perhaps, in his dream of dreams, Mark McGwire!!!)  Instead, he got former Philadelphia kick-returner and current sportscaster Vai Sikahema, who is a delightful combination of “Fantastically Uber-Nice Super-Cool Mormon Guy” and “Guy Who Could Rip Off Your Head Without Breaking a Sweat and Then Toss the Severed Head to Your Children in the Front Row, Chuckling.”  That’s awesome.

2) Sikahema came to the ring with fire dancers.  That is spectacularly awesome, approaching Samoa Joe-like territory.

3) Sikahema fought bare-chested, while Canseco did not, suggesting that the good juice is a little bit out of Jose’s price range these days.  (Before I saw the video, my first thought was that Canseco had fought wearing like a Long Beach Armade jersey or something.  That would have been all kinds of sweet.)

4) Surprise of the day: Jose Canseco has a “martial arts background.”  I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Jose’s martial arts background is very similar to mine, in that it consists primarily of two months of Taekwondo as an 8 year-old and several viewings of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film series.

5) Canseco had seven inches  and an undisclosed number of pounds on Sikahema, and yet didn’t manage to last a round with Li’l Vai.  My old Bash Brothers poster is looking less and less cool.

5) According to his Wikipedia page, Napoleon Dynamite is Sikahema’s nephew by marriage.  I’m smelling sequel here.