hating the angels

by 67MARQUEZ on Jul 13, 2008 11:49 AM PDT Comment 65 comments

My mom always told her kids that hate is too strong a word.

Well, I hate the Angels. There, I said it.

The deacon at this morning's service urged the congregation not to hate, even calling upon the Beatles to drive his message home. And while I have no doubt that our dear deacon was speaking words of wisdom, when it comes to the Angels, I can't seem to lose that loathsome feeling. Don't get it twisted; this disdain I have for Disneyland's team isn't dangerous. I don't own a John Lackey voodoo doll. I do not wish for Vladimir Guerrero's arm to fall off just as he attempts to gun down an A's runner heading for third. No, this is a healthy hatred I have for the Halos. And lo, is it so wrong to hate? "Hate", Freud tells us, "is older than love". Well then, should we not uphold hate's place in history?

How do I hate the Angels? Let me count the ways:

1. I hate that stupid name they use to describe where they play.

2. I hate Mike Scioscia and that smug look he wears.

The kind of face that only a mother could love.

3. I hate Vlad's helmet.

4. I hate that "Angels in the Outfield" was filmed in our stadium.

5. I hate the Angels in today’s outfield: Matthews, Rivera, and Willits.

6. I hate the ones in the infield, too: Izturis, Kendrick, and Kotchman.

7. I hate Jered Weaver's flowing locks.

8. I hate Ervin Santana's facial hair.

9. I hate K-Rod's antics on the mound.

10. I hated Troy Percival before him.

11. I hated Don Baylor and his MVP season of ’79.

12. I hate that the A’s are 5-7 against the Angels on my birthday.

13. I hate that Reggie Jackson was once an Angel.

Words cannot describe how much this image pains me.

14. I hate that Joe Rudi was one, too.

15. I hate that I didn’t hate Nolan Ryan enough.

16. I hate Garret Anderson and his unassuming nature.

17. I hate Chone Figgins' name.

18. I hate Kelvim Escobar’s just the same.

19. I hate that when my dad celebrates a birthday, Erick Aybar does, too.

20. I hated 1978, our first losing season to the Angels since moving to Oakland.

21. I hate the Darren’s, O’Day and Oliver.

22. I hate the catchers, Budde, Mathis, and Napoli.

23. I hated 1997, when the A’s were 1-11 versus the Angels.

24. I hated Fred Lynn and his All-Star Game grand slam in '83.

25. I hate rookies Jose Arredondo and Sean Rodriguez.

26. I hate Bobby Valentine, who told me on my 7th birthday, "I don’t sign for A’s fans".

27. I didn’t use to hate Torii Hunter, but I hate him now.

28. I hate the Rally Monkey.

29. I hate Scot Shields and the missing "t" from his first name.

30. I hate Robb Quinlan and the extra "b" in his.

31. I hate John Lackey…just because.

That’s right, Jason. It’s healthy to hate the Angels.

32. I hate the Angels, yes I do.

33. I hate looking up at the standings at them.

34. I hate that they won a World Series this decade.

35. I hate that I wanted them to win (against the Giants).

36. And for that, I hate myself.

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Comments

It's funny that Rev calls out Gallagher for being ugly...

...but they’re stuck looking at Lackey.

Last of the Ninth - Photography Site
jamesvenes.com - Blog

by Flashfire on Jul 13, 2008 12:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

And Weaver

Procrastinators unite....tomorrow

by muffinpryde on Jul 13, 2008 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sean Gallagher? He's not ugly! He might not be photogenic but on camera not bad!!

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/lacertabattuereadpax
Make sure to add me!

Dumb and Dumber:
[after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
Lloyd: I get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.
Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

oAkLaNd AtHlEtIcS!!

by LiZaRdReVoLuTiOn on Jul 14, 2008 12:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That guy/girl is brave. Naked in a shower with a cat? You'd think they'd be

scratched to hell.

by OldhamA on Jul 13, 2008 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The fact that you can't tell it's a guy

is alarming to me.

Check out the man hands.

by VORP is too nerdy on Jul 14, 2008 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Man hands?

"There's m'fn sprinklers on the m'fn infield!'" - Ice Cream (AN), 6/13/08

by doctorK on Jul 14, 2008 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

My thoughts

i agree with a lot of them except number 30. My names Robb

Lets go Oakland! obvious.com

by bballfanr33 on Jul 13, 2008 12:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

You missed Thunder Stix

Didn’t they start that in the playoffs?

by nevermoor on Jul 13, 2008 12:12 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I thought the Minnesota Timberwolves started the Thunder Stix nonsense.

Root for the Giants? Not even if they're playing al-Qaeda!

by Monday Fan on Jul 13, 2008 3:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

man, I used to be so hooked on ThunderStix...

I used to rip the tops off and arrange the dust in lines on a mirror just like my mommy did with that white stuff she wouldn’t let sis and me have any of (heaven knows why?)...

...wait, I think those were Pixie Stix…

"All managers are losers, they are the most expendable pieces of furniture on the face of the Earth."- Ted Williams

by Gaijin_Suketto on Jul 14, 2008 8:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Awesome FanPost

Angels fans better savor this year and possibly next year because it very well could be the last couple of times that they come close to sniffing a division title for years with the pitching we have coming up.

by Tyler Bleszinski on Jul 13, 2008 12:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Did Bobby Valentine

seriously tell you that?! Wow.

I needed a team so I wouldn’t turn into one of the eighty million pink hat-wearing Bud Light-drinking mulleted idiots at Fenway.

by Vacafan on Jul 13, 2008 12:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

This is the Cadillac of hate threads

Well played.

Ryan Sweeney: I probably irrationally embraced him before you did.

by Joey C. on Jul 13, 2008 12:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

+35

I can’t really get behind you hating yourself. That was a question of what we knew at the time.

"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL

by oblique on Jul 13, 2008 12:38 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

he hates himself b/c he was rooting for them when they were playing against the Giants!

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/lacertabattuereadpax
Make sure to add me!

oAkLaNd AtHlEtIcS!!

by LiZaRdReVoLuTiOn on Jul 13, 2008 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh, I understand

and I got behind #34 and #35. I just can’t get behind someone else’s self-hatred—that’s between them and themselves!

"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL

by oblique on Jul 13, 2008 9:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

2006 world series

a lose-lose situation

I hate the Gnats and the Analgels

Green Hulk Fists

by oaklandSMASH on Jul 13, 2008 6:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oops

wrong year, but the sentiment is the same with 04 instead

Green Hulk Fists

by oaklandSMASH on Jul 13, 2008 6:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

02...

Procrastinators unite....tomorrow

by muffinpryde on Jul 13, 2008 7:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

...er...

one of those even years…

I’d still rather have Street on my team than K-Rod, just because I hate douchebags. -Taj Adib

by Leopold Bloom on Jul 13, 2008 7:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

damn

I must be losing my mind…

Green Hulk Fists

by oaklandSMASH on Jul 13, 2008 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think Speier and Donnelley need some hate

"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin

by Helloooo 1st on Jul 13, 2008 2:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

yes

"It's not my fault your team's so shitty." -Steve Friend, head coach, Chabot College, to Laney College's head coach, who asked why we scored so many runs after we beat Laney 30-3 in 2006

by flipgatey3 on Jul 14, 2008 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Not me

It’s hard for me to see the Angels as much more than the cute expansion team with the halos on their caps. It took them so long to become competitive, I can’t feel much more than pity for them. When they did finally develop into a threat, they had so many former A’s on the squad, how could I hate them? The rest of them seemed like good sports. There wasn’t anyone like Pete Rose or A.J. Pierzynski on the team. With my burning psychotic hatred of the Giants, there’s not much left in the tank for anyone else. The Red Sox get my remaining fumes.

Root for the Giants? Not even if they're playing al-Qaeda!

by Monday Fan on Jul 13, 2008 3:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Also,

Regarding #24, Fred Lynn’s grandslam in the All-Star game came off Atlee Hammaker of the Giants so it was okay.

Root for the Giants? Not even if they're playing al-Qaeda!

by Monday Fan on Jul 13, 2008 3:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Fuck the Angels

That is all.

Last of the Ninth - Photography Site
jamesvenes.com - Blog

by Flashfire on Jul 13, 2008 4:06 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

making love to them isn’t the answer bro

by Dukererer on Jul 13, 2008 4:42 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Maybe not the way you do it...

Kidding.

Ryan Sweeney: I probably irrationally embraced him before you did.

by Joey C. on Jul 14, 2008 2:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Adding to the list...

37. I hate the two tools (Hudler & Physioc) they have in their broadcast booth—second worst in baseball only to “The Hawk”.

by baseballnut020 on Jul 13, 2008 4:37 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

If you hate an Angel do you go to Hell?

I just can’t get to worked up about the Angels. There isn’t enough history between the clubs to fuel true hatred i.e. Yanks vs Sox, Giants vs Dodgers, or for Oakland flavor Raiders vs either the Broncos or the Chiefs. I do think this rivalry has a chance over the next few years to grow into something special but only if the A’s can give as much as they take.

by briandouglas on Jul 13, 2008 4:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm officially making the change.

For my own mental health I’ve decided to limit my hatred to one team per sport. In baseball, this has long been the Yankees. But for several years now Yankee-hating has been emotionally unsatisfying, especially since the Sox won a series and became nearly as annoying. What I feel for the Yankees now is more like a condescending sort of pity.

The Angels, however, have become MUCH more frustrating. As I think about it, I’ve probably inwardly hated the Angels for the past couple years, all the while insisting that I saved my hatred for the Yankees. This post has convinced me, put me over the top.

I don’t like the Yankees. I pity the Yankees. But don’t hate them.

I hate the Angels.

The glare was not practiced. I would get into the game situations, and when that happens, there comes a level of concentration that most can only imagine but can never achieve. You become what you are doing, and that is what you see on my face. -Dave Stewart

by Hegenberger Road on Jul 13, 2008 5:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

+1

by demarius12 on Jul 13, 2008 5:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Don,

You do have a way with words!

by IM4Oakgal on Jul 13, 2008 5:08 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

One other reason

I hate the Angels, because right now, they are just a little better than the A’s.

sigh

"There's m'fn sprinklers on the m'fn infield!'" - Ice Cream (AN), 6/13/08

by doctorK on Jul 13, 2008 5:21 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Hate criteria

Here is why I “hate” who I hate …

1. Lack of recent success vs. [or threat level to our success] (Angels, Red Sox, Yankees, Giants)
2. Competition for limited resources (Giants)
3. Team quality/success level (Red Sox, Yankees/Angels, Giants)
4. Imbalance in resources (Yankees, Red Sox, Angels)

I probably should hate the Red Sox more, but the Angels, while winning, will always be in our way, and therefore be #1 on my shit list.

Rougly

by Rickeyfan on Jul 13, 2008 5:28 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

i love chris bootcheck though...

We've never been in that position. We wouldn't know how to operate, I mean, do we get him a corsage?-Billy Beane on signing a high profile FA

by DyeLongJustice on Jul 13, 2008 6:22 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

You forgot one...

32a. I hate the Angels, how ‘bout you?

Oh, and right now, No. 9 is No. 1.

I want an A's-Rays ALCS.

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Jul 13, 2008 6:32 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

+1

9 needs to be much, much higher.

"Don't be an ass!" --Bill King

by batgirl on Jul 14, 2008 10:43 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

You forgot the most important thing

I hate how fucking lucky the Angels are to be in first place right now… and how the dumbass sports media fawns on them for being a “great team”, when what they are is an average team having the best luck of any AL team (sorry, ‘07 D-backs) in at least the last 25 years.

This series really was the season in microcosm. They lose 3 runs off their run differential, yet gain a game in the division. Ridiculous.

Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.

by PaulThomas on Jul 13, 2008 7:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

for the love of god

Pythagorean win/loss is barely a good indicator of success over several seasons, much less a single one.

http://inplaynoouts.blogspot.com/ - A blog about teams I like, written by me.

by Carl Johnson on Jul 14, 2008 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's actually not true

The vast majority of the time there’s a very strong correlation to actual record. There are always a couple exceptions (including the Angels this year – so far) but if I were an Angels fan I’d be very worried about the second half/playoffs

by nevermoor on Jul 14, 2008 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"All models are wrong, but some are useful." -George Box

Pythagorean records may be useful, but they suffer from several fundamental flaws, both in a statistical sense and in the way they are used as a metric.

http://inplaynoouts.blogspot.com/ - A blog about teams I like, written by me.

by Carl Johnson on Jul 14, 2008 3:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I wouldn't. The A's have 9 more games on the road than the Angels do.

I’d be pretty comfortable right now if I were an Angels fan.

Last of the Ninth - Photography Site
jamesvenes.com - Blog

by Flashfire on Jul 14, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

The Angels have a better away record then home record.

I AM THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. BOW TO MY WILL AND MY HAMMER!

by anaheim angels on Jul 15, 2008 11:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Would you prefer third-order record?

Oh, wait. The Angels look even worse on that scale.

Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.

by PaulThomas on Jul 14, 2008 3:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I tend to go by the actual W/L record. That's really the only one that matters in the end.

I see the pythag record as nothing more than a figure people can use if they want to say a team is winning or losing more than they supposedly ought to.

Last of the Ninth - Photography Site
jamesvenes.com - Blog

by Flashfire on Jul 14, 2008 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

RE; number 17

Am I the only one?

I refuse to participate. It’s either Shaun or Sean (or perhaps Shawn), but Chone doesn’t come close. I instead call him CHO-NEY, as in the singular of a man’s briefs.

Bereavement or not, that’s just silly, and an unacceptable way to refer to yourself. You’re rich: buy a real name.

I’d still rather have Street on my team than K-Rod, just because I hate douchebags. -Taj Adib

by Leopold Bloom on Jul 13, 2008 7:49 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

+1

Lets go A's

by Jackson_A on Jul 14, 2008 5:05 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

+ a ton

every single time I see or hear the name, I think to myself and tell those around me “why the hell would you let yourself be called a pair of underwear?”

"Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it?"-Steve McCatty

by 5Aces on Jul 14, 2008 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I call him Choanie, too...

...used in a sentence… “I wish Choanie was on our team, instead of those dastardly Halos!”

"All managers are losers, they are the most expendable pieces of furniture on the face of the Earth."- Ted Williams

by Gaijin_Suketto on Jul 14, 2008 8:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Calling all baseball players.

Will someone PLEASE charge K-Rod’s pathetic ass the next time he goes screaming about how great he is and pointing at the sky? It drives me absolutely crazy.

"PECOTA can pretty much kiss my ass."-Nico

by jeepers on Jul 13, 2008 8:40 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

AMEN! He's lucky to be in the American League. If he ever came to bat after antics like that...

he would be sure to get a high hard one right in his ear-hole. Hopefully he would back up into it and it would smash him right in his ugly goggle-face. That guy is the biggest little bitch on the planet. But every time he does that little girly hot dog dance of his, I think back to th playoffs of last year when Manny Ramirez absolutely crushed one of his spaz-ball deliveries deep into the night over the Green Monster, clinching the series for the Sox and sending the Angels home for the year.

Why didn’t he do his little dance then?

OR after his little hissy fit when Kendall won the game in the Sulk-Off. Baby-Rod just sat there pissing his pants and whining.

The next time the A’s and Angels get into a game that’s not close, there’s going to be a little payback for them throwing at the A’s on Friday night, and for Bitch-Rods little spaz dance, and after Vlad, or whoever, gets taken off the field on a stretcher after 95 mph fastball to the noggin, they can thank their little bitch pitching staff for bringing it on them.

Thank goodness I’m not bitter.

"If you lived in the now, you'd be home by now."

by McFood on Jul 14, 2008 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Great Post

I must say I hate the Angel too!!! It is mostly their smug attitudes and fans. Let’s see in 2000 did they have fans?? They should enjoy this season because they will be bounced out of Oct pretty fast they don’t have the offense.

One more thing, I too rooted for them in 2002 and I must say I feel dirty. However, it is ok since it was those orange and blacks tools they beat up on.

I don’t expect the A’s to do crap this year! The big plus is that they are over .500 I hope they stay that way and who know maybe 2009 will be the start of a new dynasty!!!! I think they are one (Stew like) starter and two hitters away from it. It would be nice to get another 35+ homer guy.

Lets go A's

by Jackson_A on Jul 14, 2008 5:05 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

hahahahahah

awwww someone sounds bitter and angry.

you do realize that you left off the 3 starting outfielders in #5, right?

Mike Scioscia: He provides to unlike method of your team member.

by howiestheman on Jul 14, 2008 9:46 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

See #3, #16, #27.

"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL

by oblique on Jul 14, 2008 10:04 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Troll =/= reading comprehension

by nevermoor on Jul 14, 2008 11:32 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

this diary made me feel better

"Don't be an ass!" --Bill King

by batgirl on Jul 14, 2008 10:47 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Hate completes Love

With as much enthusiam and energy I devote to my love of the Athletics, I share equally vitriol and disdain for the pond scum to the south. With your smog, traffic, mickey mouse ears, and hollow shells for personnel, I empty my nose in your general direction.

After Geren brought in Street, I was in a bad mood. After he walked off the field, I was in the foulest mood I have known in a long time. I just today am in enough of a decent state of mind to come onto AN and this is the first post I read. I love 67Marquez and make it a point to read thoroughly everthing he writes. Thank you for giving my emotions a psychological dartboard today.

"the A's need more quality preembreetive pitching" ~monkeyball

by OptimistPrime on Jul 14, 2008 12:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

sorry

i’ve been a vlad fan since the expos. the guy is great. gotta give props.

lackey still sucks though. and looks like a rat.

"It's not my fault your team's so shitty." -Steve Friend, head coach, Chabot College, to Laney College's head coach, who asked why we scored so many runs after we beat Laney 30-3 in 2006

by flipgatey3 on Jul 14, 2008 1:54 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs