A's Spring Training- help me plan my bachelor party

You’d probably want to stay in either Tempe or Scottsdale – near plenty of night spots. I say this assuming you’re going to be participating in typical bachelor-party debauchery…If you’re more interested in the baseball then the above suggestion is probably best.

If you end up staying in Scottsdale or Tempe, neither is too far from the ballpark still – maybe 10 minute drives.

Congrats on your marriage. I’m 12 years in, still going strong. And she’s an avid, native Oakland A’s fan. And we finally had a baby!

OK, now Phoenix:

I think you’re going to end up using cars to get around. The motorhome is a fantastic idea, if you make the most of it (i.e., drive it to the ballpark, have some of the group sleep in it, etc.) The fall in gas prices, obviously, will make a big difference if things are the same come March `09. Due to time-consuming logistical issues, I would dump the idea of public transport here and now (pains me to say that, but these guys need the clock on their side, and there’s 15-20 of them.)

If you must stay close to nightlife, I would recommend Tempe over Scottsdale, which is really over-priced and over-rated. Think yuppie tourist trap in a really conservative location. The expensive bars and clubs reflect this; full of pompous douchebags and their heavily dolled-up arm candy (Disclaimer: If you wear expensive polo shirts and your fiancee’s best friend is her hair dryer, I apologize.) Tempe’s a little more down to earth (har har).

BUT, if you’re driving anyway, and don’t need to be right on top of the nightlife, I would recommend staying more east, like Mesa. The cost of hotels away from the ballparks is dramatically less, and a bachelor party doesn’t need luxury digs, unless you’re a bunch of nouveau riche assholes who must spend a lot in order to feel manly (see Scottsdale above.) Check Orbitz for pricing, and cross-check with the hotel’s website. Before booking, look at tripadvisor.com for reviews. Oh yeah, make sure breakfast is included! Then there’s more time to play with, fewer decisions (“Dude, where should we eat?” “I don’t know, bro.”), and of course $$$ saved.

I think it’s actually important, not just smart and thrifty, to have relatively cheap lodging. Most groups of fellas have at least a few who are short on cash, and the difference between an $80 room and a $200 room really adds up. Driving an extra 10 minutes to the ballpark is a small investment in saving, potentially, hundreds of dollars across the whole group.

Rental cars: Use hotwire.com. This well-kept secret has amazingly great deals on rental cars, and they’re all in the PHX rental car center, so it doesn’t really matter what firm you end up with. (You won’t get sucky Enterprise, AAAdvantage or Rent-a-Wreck.) Nonetheless, getting the car takes time in Phoenix, as does returning it and taking a way-too-long bus ride to the terminal. Add about 15 minutes over less annoying airports.

With all the money you’ll save, you and the boys will have more to spend on strippers, cocaine, penicillin, bottled water, pot, cigars, tequila, and Advil. I would not go the hooker route; instead, let a few of the guys talk all weekend about getting you one, and then never do it. This is classic bachelor party running commentary – usually the fattest guy with the worst sunburn is really, really into this idea (Just remember, if you do get a hooker, he’s somehow “involved” too.)

No cameras allowed.