DLD 11/20/08 - Oh, come on.
Hey, "It's the offseason" is no excuse!
I'm dozing off. I can't write coherently when I'm this sleepy. "Then why the hell are you writing something on AN that everyone will see, Poppy?" Because somebody has to, and it's not going to have any impact on my GPA, that's why.
Wait. "My GPA." Huh. Whattayaknow! I *DO* care about stats!
So what don't we know today? I don't know what we don't know. Y'know? I'll just throw a few links and see if they bounce or something.
Dugout Central picks Joey Devine as one of 2009's Impact Youngsters. Joey placed 6th in ROY voting? I did not know that. I bet you guys did.
The A's are still looking at Rafael Furcal: "...the team has seen Furcal's medical reports and has been assured that he has fully recovered." Yeah, okay. By whom, exactly? By who? Whom? Who? Meh. (That article was in this morning's Chron, btw... have we signed him in the meantime? You guys must know.)
What the HELL is the issue with SoCal Metrolink operators or controllers or whatever? Do you know?
As of today, the Yugo Era is over. [moment of silence] I didn't know that it hadn't already ended.
"This is driving in its most natural form. You feel every bump, squeak and jolt, and one can enjoy the sweet smell of gasoline and exhaust fumes,"
said some Serbian dude, probably in an incredibly sexy accent that, had I heard the words spoken, would have completely distracted me from what an idiotic sentiment that is.
"Twilight" being released tomorrow! Woohoo! What the fuck is "Twilight"?!
Okay. It's no longer November 20 in most of the rest of the world, and I'm going to go have a nap before I have to start work.
via failblog.files.wordpress.com
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270 comments
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Important to keep in mind regarding your image

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 20, 2008 4:51 PM PST
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I keep misreading the subhead as "It can lead to tail"
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 11:27 AM PST
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Would also be clever, just less appropriate
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 1:45 PM PST
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"clever, just less appropriate"
You’ve been reading my performance reviews, haven’t you?
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 1:50 PM PST
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Well, when you fling poop for a living...
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 1:50 PM PST
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Is that really a misread?
I mean, come on, you’ve got all the symbolism you need right there; it’s just purrrrrrfect. Of course success leads to ‘tail’ tail.
Aw hell, which one do I use for emphasis and which one for puns.
by LowcountryJoe on
Nov 21, 2008 5:44 PM PST
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Hey! Where the heck have *you* been?
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 5:55 PM PST
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I got hacked off one day, wrote some stuff I shouldn't have, and stopped coming around
Dropped by a handful of times but most of the time had nothing really meaningful to contribute…so didn’t. The post-Holliday deal commentary has brought back but I’m staying cautious.
by LowcountryJoe on
Nov 21, 2008 6:33 PM PST
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Are you my dad?
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
by alox on
Nov 22, 2008 7:25 AM PST
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Not that I know of.
Why do you ask: do you have an absentee father who enjoys bAseball more than company?
by LowcountryJoe on
Nov 22, 2008 11:16 AM PST
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It was just a joke.
Good to see you back though.
For the record, my dad is a pretty good guy.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
by alox on
Nov 22, 2008 12:14 PM PST
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I figured it was but thought it also might be a subtle backhand...
…included so I thought I’d mix in a little bit of jerk in my reply just in case. Sorry ’bout that.
It’s nice to be (somewhat) returning. Thank you for the welcoming. That’s sincere.
by LowcountryJoe on
Nov 22, 2008 3:38 PM PST
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LOL...I kinda thought it might
have struck you a little wrong. I hope you decide to contribute again on a regular basis. To many people who’s opinions I enjoyed seem to have forsaken AN.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
by alox on
Nov 22, 2008 4:41 PM PST
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Random A's-related question:
Does anyone know about when they release the promo schedule? I want to make a trip cross-country to the Coli in ‘09, and I’d like to match it up with a good promo date if I can, but I’m not sure if the promo schedule comes out very far in advance.
Thanks! :)
A's Strategy 2009: "Whoever is not hurt plays" - Syphon, 11/10/08
by schmifty on
Nov 20, 2008 5:14 PM PST
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I think they have a tentative schedule in January?
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 1:00 PM PST
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Yea, usually there is a tentative schedule in time for the Fan Fest.
If I remember correctly, everything is pretty much there except who will be the last one or two bobbleheads.
by LoneStranger on
Nov 21, 2008 1:02 PM PST
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they normally have promos
when they need to get people out to see shitty less popular teams, mostly.
so i’d see when the royals are in town..
BB should send scouts to watch cricket players.
by alea iacta est on
Nov 22, 2008 8:07 AM PST
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I posted this on two other fanposts but nobody has responded, sooooooo
here it goes again.
This Year in baseball awards are open for fan voting.
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/awards/y2008/tyib/index.jsp
If AN can post 2500 comments about a trade can’t we vote in Ziegler as rookie or setup man of the year? Hannahan is also up for play of the year for the catch he made while flipping into the dugout. There are also a couple former A’s nominated; Matt Stairs pinch hit go-ahead 2 run HR for postseason moment, Rich Harden for starter, Johny Damon for going 6 for 6 is up for performance as well as an nomination for oddity for the play where a ball landed on top of the fence and stayed there.
Don’t forget that you can vote multiple times without having to enter all your info again.
I’m tired of the A’s being overlooked by everyone else. Granted they might not be as deserving this year but what the hay. We can make the choice this time.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
by micdog2001 on
Nov 20, 2008 5:55 PM PST
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I threw a few votes Ziegler's way
but the multiple votes concept irks my chain. My apologies Brad, but I only liked you about 10 votes worth this season. What’s the maximum, 25 votes like the All-Star vote?
Anyway, +10 here for the “get Ziegler some hardware” effort!
Poppy, any problems with quote use there?
by GoA's on
Nov 21, 2008 11:14 AM PST
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I lost track of how many votes I gave
I just clicked until I got tired of it, which probably wasn’t very long. judging from the lack of responses (thanks GoA’s) I don’t think Ziggy is going to win anything. I wonder if Ziegler voted for himself or is that dishonorable (is that word) in his mind. I guess it wouldn’t be satisfying to win for yourself and most players probably don’t even care about these awards.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
by micdog2001 on
Nov 21, 2008 11:46 AM PST
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BTW
I love http://failblog.org/ it makes me laugh all the time. Today they posted a video of a guy who after being pulled over for a speeding ticket accidently backed up on top of the police car.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
by micdog2001 on
Nov 20, 2008 5:59 PM PST
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Bless you for doing this.
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy."
-Charles Manson
by kaweahkaweah on
Nov 20, 2008 7:00 PM PST
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Yay!! A new DLD!!!
Wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 20, 2008 7:04 PM PST
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Woo, new DLD.
I would’ve made a new one, but I made the last one… [pats self on back]… and I don’t want to overdo it…
Also: I “hate” hate it when people use unnecessary quotations marks… like
“Thank-you” for closing the door
which brings up another issue—hyphenating “thank you.” Yes, I have issues… they don’t include the overuse of the ellipsis, however…
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 20, 2008 7:30 PM PST
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I feel like I should give you a hug.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 20, 2008 8:51 PM PST
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Wow, I "blew" that one
It should have read:
I feel like I should give you a “hug”
Sadly, there are no do-overs at AN.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 21, 2008 5:18 AM PST
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You won't be "surprised" to discover
that there’s “a blog” just for you!
"...in baseball you wear a cap." -- george carlin
by Hot Cup Joe on
Nov 20, 2008 10:50 PM PST
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Useless quotation marks drive me crazy
On eof the local TV stations has a closed caption person who appearantly missed the week in 5th grade where they explained how to use them. They end up saying
The “president” of country x is on a “five country” tour of south america.
I then miss the next 10 minutes of the newscast because I am yelling at Mrs. Aces about how they can let someone that dumb work on a newscast. She then reminds me how we have to endure people who speak with perfect diction and no trace of an accent until they say there names, at which point they try to sound like they just got off a boat from Peru. I then shut up and realize it’s local news.
"Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it?"-Steve McCatty
by 5Aces on
Nov 21, 2008 11:13 AM PST
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At least your closed caption person gives you the story....
I get this:
The dental of Irk—istan is southica.
It’s like when they get stuck on a word, they immediately pick up the sentence from where it is, and forget all the words and syllables in between….oh, and the made up words crack me up….
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 21, 2008 12:03 PM PST
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And another thing.
I have not read, nor do I want to read, Twilight, but despite my fervent non-interest in teenage vampires, I am being subjected to endless previews for what looks to be a horrid movie. Stop the madness!
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 20, 2008 7:35 PM PST
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twilight
haven’t read the book
have no intention of reading the book
have no intention of going to the movie
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 20, 2008 7:50 PM PST
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I have been coerced into going to see it tomorrow night.
I don’t know anything about the book, movie, or why all the women are swooning over “young Edward”, but I’ll let you know how it goes.
39 remarkable innings.
by ZigFan31 on
Nov 20, 2008 7:58 PM PST
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twilight
i saw it last night.
the whole cinema was laughing all the way through.
(quotes "dialogue") there were three things i knew for certain; one, that edward was a vampire, two, that he wanted to suck. my blood, and three, that i loved him.
all i could think of was herbert selby – “I knew before I died Two things would happen to me; that number one I would regret my entire life, and number two I would want to live my life over again”
definitely worth taking a few beers in with you.
BB should send scouts to watch cricket players.
by alea iacta est on
Nov 22, 2008 8:16 AM PST
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I honestly never heard of this thing until an hour ago
Then I heard a story about it on Marketplace on the way home, and now I’ve seen three different blogs refer to it. Having been in junior high when Dark Shadows was big, I can beiieve this will sell, but I’ll pass.
If you want to hear a great piece of radio and feel better about whatever crappy job you have, check out this story which came on after the vampire one and kept me in my car for five extra minutes.
by Englishmajor on
Nov 20, 2008 8:04 PM PST
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Englishmajor
Assuming your moniker is true, how do you get an incredibly evil English teacher to pass you?
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 20, 2008 8:30 PM PST
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slow down to 54 mph just before the exit for the cotton fields
Oh, sorry—that’s how to get an incredibly weevil English teacher to pass you.
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 20, 2008 8:50 PM PST
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On my list of things that need to happen in 2009
Meeting you in person is number 4.
Gosh, I hope that doesn’t alarm you at all.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 20, 2008 8:54 PM PST
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Am I on that list?
If I am — should I worry?
by mikev on
Nov 20, 2008 9:04 PM PST
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As a matter of fact you are
At Number 4.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 21, 2008 5:14 AM PST
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Number "4"?
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 1:47 PM PST
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I should warn you that meeting me in person is number 2
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 20, 2008 9:13 PM PST
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yes, prepare appropriately...
…like for a Gallagher performance…
…lots of plastic sheeting and disinfectants…
"I have more questions after these."-WaddellCanseco
by Gaijin_Suketto on
Nov 21, 2008 1:25 PM PST
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I'd just feed the weevil cotton.
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 20, 2008 9:01 PM PST
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My moniker is a tribute to that great English major, Scott Hatteberg
who would answer that the way to pass English lit classes is to have long bus rides in the minor leagues, giving one plenty of time to read novels.
by Englishmajor on
Nov 20, 2008 10:20 PM PST
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Just act like you know what you're talking about.
All English majors master the art of bs-ing their way through literary analyses. And if you don’t have time to finish the reading, Wikipedia and Cliff Notes can be quite helpful (I used the latter rather often during my Shakespeare class). Oh, one more thing: don’t take two classes in the same semester that will eventually require you to read Return of the Native and Middlemarch at the same time. That was a confusing two weeks…
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 20, 2008 10:30 PM PST
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Mmm, thanks.
Don’t have to worry about taking two English classes; I’m only taking this one as a gen.ed lit requirement.
Pretty much got told by the prof that I had a snowball’s chance in hell of passing two weeks ago, decided to go talk to her again today. She relented up a bit, said if I did really well on this next paper (and pretty much have to get an B+ or higher on the final), I’d have a decent shot at passing. I pretty much live off Wiki and CliffNotes (although I do use the actual texts once in a while). Apparantly, I don’t get deep enough into analyses and the tests own me. I do semi-decently on the analyses, but the test questions are usually completely out there, and own me.
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 20, 2008 11:02 PM PST
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Hmm, if she tests like one of my HS English teachers, you might be in trouble
This guy would find random, irrelevant details to test on. Things like the color of somebody’s hat, when the color is largely insignificant and only mentioned once. Even the people who read the books did poorly on his tests.
by thejd44 on
Nov 20, 2008 11:48 PM PST
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Her questions aren't *that* insignificant
but she slips in an insignificant detail once in a while.
She balks if specific “insignificant” details are not included in analyses, but it is difficult to figure out how exactly she wants you to prove her point.
Nervous as hell, as th
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 21, 2008 6:57 AM PST
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Blicks:
Does this …
I pretty much live off Wiki and CliffNotes (although I do use the actual texts once in a while).
… mean a) you only occasionally read the texts, and mostly just crib from Wiki and CliffNotes, or b) you read all the texts, then supplement with Wiki and CliffNotes?
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 8:02 AM PST
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I thought originally that I was having horrible nightmares, but then I realized I never fell asleep. The “nightmares” were just the insane and confusing thoughts that were induced by reading your comments.
(But don’t take that wrong. I like living this way)
P.S. I borrowed that first part from my niece Stephanie. Now before you take me for a thief, just know that I have not had an original thought since reading “Take Heed, 67MARQUEZ”.
P.S.S. I am up to 1989; just fourteen seasons left.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 21, 2008 8:38 AM PST
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Re: P.S.S.
1. I can’t believe I just typed “Re: P.S.S.”
2. It’s going to be epic.
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 8:43 AM PST
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both
I’ll be flat out honest. I started off the semester doing a. After the first test (we have like 4 tests + final), realized that it was a bad idea.
I’ll say I’ve read and attempted to comprehend the majority of the texts. My comprehension IQ is probably somewhere near nonexistent though.
If I get confused in the middle (which I way too often sometimes do), I turn to the Cliffnotes, while trying to manuever through the text.
And I hope this paper I’m about to turn in in about an hour fares well.
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 21, 2008 9:59 AM PST
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I hope it goes well
1. Read all the texts. Hard to blame an evil professor if you haven’t at least done that much. It’s not nearly as steep a mountain as it seems, and your enthusiastic participation in various AN rosterbation threads indicates that time is not a problem.
2. Take a deep breath. It sounds like you are spending an awful lot of energy convincing yourself of your own ineptitude (self-fulfilling prophecy alert!). Your contributions to this site indicate quite clearly that you’re a clever fellow, and there is no way in bloody hell a general requirement lit class is beyond the scope of your abilities.
3. I’ve always found that talking through a text with a smart person who has read it recently (classmate, etc.) is far more likely to enhance my understanding than reading CliffsNotes or scrolling through Wikipedia. The back and forth is more rewarding than you might imagine.
4. Good luck.
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 11:54 AM PST
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Thank you so much. :-)
1. Yeah, my time management skills blow. Hence why it took me two weeks and the loss of a job (my hours had been getting gradually cut since October due to cost-cutting) after she told me that I had a snowball’s chance in hell of passing to actually inquire further. So, I have a Friday night (tonight) and don’t plan on going out due to things like needing money for more important expenditures. I was thinking on catching up on the texts from early this semester. Would it be best to go back and read and cram up on the texts from early that I skimped on or is it best to recoup those texts in a different manner (since they probably will be on the final)?
2. You’re probably right.
3. I should definitely try to get with classmates. I should.
4. Thanks again. Seriously.
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 21, 2008 6:41 PM PST
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Aack. Sorry about the job.
If it were me, I’d just suck it up, guzzle unhealthy quantities of coffee, close my laptop, unplug my television, draw the shades, and read everything start to finish.
But obviously if time constraints render that approach unfeasible, just read the stuff that’s likely to comprise the bulk of the exam, and do the best you can.
And when something seems confusing or nonsensical, write it down so you can ask someone about it later. Do it in a real notebook with a pen, because if you use your computer you’ll end up here.
If after awhile you think to yourself “crap, I’m writing everything down, nothing makes sense, I’m screwed!”, that’s okay. That’s leaps and bounds better than non-reading reading (wherein you turn a bunch of pages, your eyes dutifully tracking one line then the next, but at the end you realize you’ve been thinking about the Jets game or Natalie Portman or whatever the whole time, and recollect nothing of what you’ve read). Incomprehension is okay, as long as you’re actually engaging the text. You can sort through the confusion later.
by 74mk on
Nov 22, 2008 6:18 AM PST
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Hmm.
I was able to get through some of it on copious amounts of coffee and cigarettes. (i am a rather slow reader; math’s my thing for a reason)
I don’t know what to feel about last night. I can swear my brain’s still recovering from all that text, and I’m not even close to done.
I know that's a pisser, baby.
by Blicks on
Nov 22, 2008 6:07 PM PST
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Thoughts on snowballs
… after she told me that I had a snowball’s chance in hell of passing …
(1) If the teacher had said that Blicks didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of passing, would that mean a better chance, a worse chance, or exactly the same? Either way it means no chance, right?
Perhaps the army of “could care less” peeve-pedants could weigh in and tell us which version of the idiom is ignorant.
(2) Is a snowball’s chance any better in heaven? I mean, they say heaven is paradise. Would the temperature really be below freezing in paradise?
And if the snowball is doomed in the afterlife either way, what spiritual motivation does it have to live a virtuous life?
"Dispatch knuckleheadedness with Bond-like aplomb." –74mk
by iglew on
Nov 22, 2008 1:02 PM PST
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Snowballs and their eternal damnation
1) The meaning of a “Snowball’s chance in Hell” is, I’ve always thought, that you have no chance (or something very close to no chance). If that’s true, then you do have a snowball’s chance (which happens to be 0).
2) Heaven is generally described as a personal paradise. At least I’ve often seen it this way. So I’d imagine that for a snowball, paradise would be something below freezing.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 4:59 PM PST
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Saying someone has "a snowball's chance in hell"
means their chances are trivially small.
Saying someone “doesn’t [even] have a snowball’s chance in hell” means their chances are LESS than trivially small.
It’s consistent; the difference between the two is the difference between 0.00001% and 0%, which makes them identical phrases. It’s not a “could[n’t] care less” situation at all.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 22, 2008 11:40 PM PST
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I don't understand why people say "I could care less" except that people use phrases without thinking about the words
by thejd44 on
Nov 23, 2008 7:57 PM PST
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It's completely normal to
not think about the individual words when using an idiomatic phrase.
You just posted something where you said you think Crosby and Renteria are a wash offensively. Did you think about what the word “wash” means there?
"Dispatch knuckleheadedness with Bond-like aplomb." –74mk
by iglew on
Nov 24, 2008 3:02 PM PST
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I vote for Cliff Notes,
but it depends on your reason for reading the book.
If your only reason for reading a book is to write a paper about it and get a grade, then by all means use the Cliff Notes. It will provide all the stupid academic bullshit, which is all you want anyway.
If your reason for reading a book is to get something out of the book, then avoid the Cliff Notes because it will turn what might otherwise be great literature into a tedious academic exercise. If after reading the book, you feel like you want to write about it, put it on a blog somewhere where you can write what you really feel and not just what you think will impress a professor.
"Dispatch knuckleheadedness with Bond-like aplomb." –74mk
by iglew on
Nov 22, 2008 12:55 PM PST
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Is it Cliff Notes, Cliff's Notes, CliffNotes, or CliffsNotes?
(very confusing)
by 74mk on
Nov 22, 2008 1:41 PM PST
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Officially CliffsNotes
but people shorten it to CliffNotes if they’re in a hurry or short on time.
"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL
by oblique on
Nov 22, 2008 3:16 PM PST
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I once had to write a paper on "Pride and Prejudice"...
so I watched the “30 seconds with bunnies” video of the CliffsNotes of the Readers’ Digest adaptation of the script of “Bridget Jones’ Diary”.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 22, 2008 3:58 PM PST
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I once had to write a report on CliffsNotes
I didn’t know what to read.
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 22, 2008 4:14 PM PST
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You should've just watched the movie.
"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL
by oblique on
Nov 22, 2008 4:15 PM PST
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{packs tent and cot to queue up for CLIFFSNOTES: THE VIDEO GAME}
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 23, 2008 7:50 AM PST
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{shows up late the next morning and stands in the other, shorter line}
"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL
by oblique on
Nov 23, 2008 8:04 AM PST
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Brevity is ... wit
"Dispatch knuckleheadedness with Bond-like aplomb." –74mk
by iglew on
Nov 22, 2008 5:19 PM PST
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If you need inspiration, take a cue from literature and consider Hamlet
Just because you’re struggling in the course, it doesn’t make you a dull and muddy-mettled rascal, nor does it mean that all occasions inform against you. I know how weary, stale and unprofitable seem to you all the uses of this class. But I’m sure sure you will eventually find cause, and will, and strength, and means to do’t. You have to write the damn thing one way or another. The readiness is all.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 12:36 PM PST
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dude... just buy your diploma from an online christian college,
like I did!
"I have more questions after these."-WaddellCanseco
by Gaijin_Suketto on
Nov 21, 2008 1:27 PM PST
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I've never read Middlemarch and don't remember Return of the Native
But my BA in English should really be a BS in English, because mostly what it taught me was how to bullshit my way through a situation with minimal information.
In high school (this could be the moment where I found my true calling) I got more than 100% on a test on Grapes of Wrath. I read 50 pages of that boring pile of crap. I don’t care about the damn turtle crossing the street. I’ll take my A though, thank you very much.
If participation is a significant portion of your grade, here’s my favorite trick. If you haven’t read or don’t know what’s going on or something like that, just shut up for the first 3/4 of class. Use that 3/4 to formulate one really solid point on the topic. Whether you need to read in class, figure out what the hell is going on based on previous discussion or whatever, just use that time to figure out one point. Then, with class about over, raise your hand and drop that knowledge. Not only does it appear you’ve read and have insightful points, but your comment is going to linger in the professor’s mind since it was one of the final things he/she discussed in the class.
by thejd44 on
Nov 20, 2008 11:47 PM PST
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Here's a confusing assignment:
I have to write a paper about my rhetorical citizenship, cite examples and argue my position effectively — even if my position is “I am not a rhetorical citizen.” However, if I were to be successful in arguing that I am not a rhetorical citizen… wouldn’t that be evidence that I am?
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 1:09 PM PST
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see, now you're wishing you were a stathead, so you could just compose a proof of your numerical citizenship
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 1:22 PM PST
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I’m a rhetorical citizen of the world.
Thanks for tomorrow 'cause I've had enough
by andeux on
Nov 21, 2008 1:24 PM PST
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What is rhetorical citizenship?
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 1:32 PM PST
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I have no fucking idea.
It’ll be a very short paper.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 2:23 PM PST
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in that case, maybe you should have Sal write it for you
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 2:47 PM PST
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No, I write papers shortly.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 3:05 PM PST
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Now, THAT's an ADJECTIVE!

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 2:50 PM PST
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"... in bed"
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 2:51 PM PST
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It's a rhetorical question, Poppy
It doesn’t require an answer.
"Dispatch knuckleheadedness with Bond-like aplomb." –74mk
by iglew on
Nov 22, 2008 1:03 PM PST
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I really don't understand
Girls my age (college age) are obsessed with Twilight. As I understand, it’s about a high school girl falling in love with a vampire? Where does the obsession come in? No offense to anyone who does like Twilight, but could you briefly describe its merits?
by JLaff on
Nov 20, 2008 9:04 PM PST
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Its merits?
It’s awesome, cool, fantastic, and great!
(I haven’t read them)
au contra ire
by JediLeroy on
Nov 20, 2008 9:20 PM PST
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I don't know about Twilight...
but I have read a lot of the Anne Rice books…and I also enjoy the TRUE BLOOD series on HBO.
by IM4Oakgal on
Nov 20, 2008 11:13 PM PST
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I understand the appeal...
haven’t you ever wanted to die at the climax of an orgasm?
I could get into this subject about twelve paragraphs worth, but I don’t have enough money to buy the ticket to CGV city, so I think I’ll just go back to downloading porn!
"I have more questions after these."-WaddellCanseco
by Gaijin_Suketto on
Nov 21, 2008 1:29 PM PST
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The merits of Twilight,
or the merits of the genre, ie the vampy urban paranormal romance genre?
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 2:03 PM PST
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Oh, good.
I am not the only girl NOT lining up to see that movie!
My friend gave me the book for Christmas last year and swore up and down that I would love it and fall in love with the vampire boy. I didn’t even start reading it until the beginning of this summer. I read about 5 chapters, put it down, and never picked it up again.
by Kimberly on
Nov 20, 2008 10:26 PM PST
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And I don't even find Cedric... er, vampire boy... attractive at all.
I kind of feel like Twilight adherents would compare the series to Harry Potter, and since I love Harry Potter, I vaguely feel like I should give the vampires a chance… except Harry Potter is awesome and seems to have a wider appeal, and this just looks stupid. So, yeah, I think I’ve made up my mind.
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 20, 2008 10:34 PM PST
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but Harry Potter is not dark or sexual...
"I have more questions after these."-WaddellCanseco
by Gaijin_Suketto on
Nov 21, 2008 1:30 PM PST
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It's... not?
Oh man, I’ve been watching those movies all wrong…
by thejd44 on
Nov 21, 2008 1:34 PM PST
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Insert "wand/wang" riff from bash.org here...
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 2:41 PM PST
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Harry Potter is awesome?
You clearly have not read actually awesome fiction in the genre :)
But, seriously, Harry Potter is grossly overrated. If you like fantasy / s(peculative) fiction, there are (much) better authors, than Rowling, and (much) better works, than Potter.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 2:21 PM PST
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It's been my experience
that whenever someone makes a point of sneering at Harry Potter, and then goes on to suggest “real” fantasy that people “ought” to read, the suggestion invariably turns out to be pompous, overbred crap.
In other words, while better books than Harry Potter unquestionably exist (how could they not? Surely it’s not the best fantasy series ever…), people who think Harry Potter sucks can’t tell what it is.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 2:39 PM PST
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More to the point
Harry Potter got a lot of kids reading long books with real plots, which is a good thing. For that reason, whether or not you yourself enjoy them (I did initially, thought the last few weren’t as good) you should acknowledge their value.
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 2:48 PM PST
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I'm not saying that people liking Potter is anything bad
You’re missing my point.
My point simply, is that, people who restrict / limit themselves to the “awesome” Harry Potter, are missing a lot of good works by a lot of good authors.
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by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 3:00 PM PST
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Who's restricting or limiting themselves to anything?
whiteshoes is just saying this particular new series looks like crap.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 3:19 PM PST
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Did I say whiteshoes is limiting herself?
Did you see the smiley?
Reread my initial post.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 3:54 PM PST
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"pompous, overbred crap"
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 2:49 PM PST
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You haven't read much SF have you?
It isn’t simply that Potter is simply entertaining pass the time fantasy. I’ve nothing against that stuff. I read lots of that stuff. It’s that there have been, and continue to be, authors who do that stuff (much) better.
As for “pompous, overbred crap”, sigh, good SF can be BOTH entertaining AND challenging. Books like Roger Zelazny’s Lord of Light are funny, entertaining, challenging, and still NOT “pompous, overbred crap”. No book that has a pun like “the fit hit the Shan”, is “pompous, overbred crap”.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 2:59 PM PST
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I do love Harry Potter.
And, admittedly, I haven’t read much other fantasy/sci fi since I was in middle school, so I don’t have much to compare HP to. These days I read whatever strikes my fancy, so if you have some truly awesome fantasy recommendations, I might just check them out.
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 21, 2008 3:09 PM PST
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Hmm.
I’d suggest Roger Zelazny’s Lord of Light. Gorgeous and witty prose, challenging ideas, a fast moving plot, awful puns, cosmic events, funny and wise. A book that encompasses joy and sorrow, the sublime and the idiotic , mind and body, prayer and dance, and explores the human and the divine.
To quote Neil Gaiman on it, “it’s the kind of book that makes you want to be a writer”, or “a Mozart string quartet as played by Thelonius Monk”.
It’s not a new book, it was written in 1967, when Zelazny was a (very) young and mostly unknown author, and it catapulted him into the limelight.
Asides from that, you could try reading some of his short stories, available in anthologies: For a Breath I Tarry, Home is the Hangman, A Rose for Ecclesiastes, 24 Views of Mount Fuji, by Hokusai, etc. Entertaining AND challenging. In many cases, Zelazny’s short stories are his best works. At his best, Zelazny’s short stories often competed against each other for the major spec fic awards.
Zelazny is most (commercially) famous for the Amber series of books. The first few are pretty good, and worth reading, but the quality really goes down in the later books, and while OK, are definitely not up to his standards. Zelazny himself admitted that he was going through the motions in the later books, and principally wrote them for the money.
This Immortal is also very very good, and I recommend it highly. But IMO, not at the level of Lord of Light.
If you end up being becoming a fan of Zelazny, Lord Demon which he wrote with Jane Lindskold shortly before his death, is fairly interesting and touching. In the sense that it’s kind of a love duet between Zelazny and Lindskold.
Gaiman himself. Neverwhere has some beautiful and witty prose, and some very interesting characters, and a nice twist in the plot at the end. Or, Anansi Boys. The pun in the title should tell you that it’s not “pompous, overbred crap”. The ending is unsatisfactory though. The main antagonist, who started out as fairly interesting, ends up as a stereotypical crazed idiotic villain. It’s as if Gaiman couldn’t think of way to have the hero and heroine “win”, so he just took the easy way, and resorted to making the villain stupid. Or you could try Stardust. If you do, get the “graphic novel” version. It was written that way, and meant to be read that way, the text only version doesn’t work as well. The Sandman comics.
Patricia McKillip writes books with truly amazing, gem like lapidary prose. The kind of prose that Monkeyball would approve of. No long run on sentences, no overuse of semicolons. Simply, elegant, yet, stunning prose. Also, interesting characters and settings. I’d recommend first and foremost, a Song for the Basilisk, but all her books are good. Her short stories are also very god. Granted, generally, computer scientists / programmers or musicians, tend to be those who will find a Song for the Basilisk most wonderful. The protagonists are composers / musicians, and the plot is structured along the lines of an opera. If you prefer something somewhat similar to LoTR, her Riddlemaster series was motivated by her reading LoTR as a college student.
If you like urban / paranormal romance vampire stuff, and even if you generally don’t, I suggest Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse books. Very very funny, and a wonderful heroine. Also, Robin McKinley’s Sunlight. Also witty and funny, and a great heroine.
Laura Anne Gilman’s Retrievers series is also pretty funny and entertaining urban / paranormal fantasy.
Nina Kiriki Hoffman also has written some pretty good urban / paranormal fantasy. Though slightly offbeat, and fairly dark.
R Garcia y Roberson’s Lady Robyn trilogy, historical fantasy set in England during the War of the Roses, with a modern day heroine who time travels into the past, is also very fun, and actually historically accurate for the most part: Robertson was a professor of history at UCLA. It’s usually marketed as Romance, but is isn’t really. It’s Fantasy. Fair warning, the series is not really completed, so the “ending” is VERY unsatisfactory. Firebird, with a fantasy medieval Russian setting is also very good.
For what PaulThomas would call “pompous, overbred crap”, though they really aren’t, try either Karen Joy Fowler’s collection of short stories, Black Glass , or Susanna Clarke’s short stories. Fowler wrote a very very funny “feminist” story playing on Gulliver’s Travels. Fowler’s novels are a bit more offbeat, so I’d recommend trying her short stories first. Clarke has received a lot of acclaim for her Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell book. That I DO find “pompous, overbred”. Too much “look at how clever I am”, and I say this as someone who loved her short stories and was really looking forward to the book.
Guy Gavriel Kay’s books are also probably the kind that some would find “pompous, overbred crap”. That is probably slightly fair criticism for some of his stuff. Sometimes, his characters, often in historical settings, are too similar to modern western (liberal arts) graduate students. But, at his best, the prose, the ideas, the settings, are IMO, worth the slight “pomposity”. I’d recommend first and foremost,Tigana. Very nuanced characters, no simple heroes and villains, and no easy happy ending. Or, the Lions of Al Rassan, which is set in a (semi) historical Andalusia, and provides a very nuanced view of the period.
Ursula LeGuin’s Earthsea books are considered classics. Fair warning, the later books, from book 4, Tehanu, onwards, and also the short stories set in that setting, are (much) more overtly feminist than the first 3 books. Some find the (much) more overly feminist tone a turn off. The first 3 books do have feminist undercurrents, but only if you go looking closely for those them.
For “cyberpunkish” post apocalyptic type books, try George Alec Effinger’s Marid Audran series of books. Effinger does the genre much better than anyone else who has come after him.
I’ll stop now. If you tell me what you generally look for, I could be more specific.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 5:21 PM PST
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That should be McKinley's
Sunshine.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 5:29 PM PST
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running off on a tangent ...
… I’m presuming that all of us locals know what the “K” in Ursula K. LeGuin stands for, and why that’s significant?
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 5:38 PM PST
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Kielty? Kotsay? Krosby?
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on
Nov 21, 2008 8:53 PM PST
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I looked it up (not being a real local)
by Englishmajor on
Nov 21, 2008 10:13 PM PST
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I'm a real local and I don't know.
And I’m too lazy to look it up, so I’m trying to think of Bay Area cities that start with “K.”
Kampbell? Knewark?
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 22, 2008 10:11 AM PST
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Only one I could think of is
Kentfield, in Marin.
I looked up the census list of cities over 20,000 population for California and there are none beginning with K.
"Dispatch knuckleheadedness with Bond-like aplomb." –74mk
by iglew on
Nov 22, 2008 1:13 PM PST
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It's a dilemma of Kroeberian (adj.) proportions.
Fortunately, wikipedia is my friend.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 22, 2008 3:28 PM PST
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Kensington
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 22, 2008 7:19 PM PST
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I work on campus
and I didn’t know what the “K” was for until I looked on wikipedia…..
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 22, 2008 7:20 PM PST
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Hey rfloh,
1. Would you categorize Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon as science fiction?
2. Is it any good?
Someone gave it to me a couple of years ago, but I never got around to cracking it open. I wedged it into a partially obscured slot in my bookshelf, and that was that. Many layers of dust later, there it remains.
I am, alas, embarrassingly unfamiliar with science fiction writing. I read Parable of the Sower years ago, Childhood’s End, maybe the stray Margaret Atwood novel along the way, but that’s about the extent of it.
Anyway, I’m about to be between books, and your post has inspired me to expand my horizons. Cryptonomicon is almost certainly the closest thing to science fiction I own, but if it sucks and/or is a different beast altogether, I’ll schlep down to Powell’s for the real deal (I think I’d prefer something pompous and overbred, with tons of adverbs).
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 6:35 PM PST
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I love Stephenson, but he's very abstruse sometimes
(Then again, I’m guessing— stop me if I’m wrong— that you don’t mind that too much.)
There are some parts of Cryptonomicon which are just hilariously funny, however. It’s probably my favorite work of fiction.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 6:52 PM PST
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That's an endorsement I can get behind
It sounds like the sort of book I might casually bring up at a cocktail party to demonstrate outside the box erudition.
Everyone is talking about Netherland or 2666 or whatever, when I drop in Cryptonomicon … bam! Silence at first, puzzled, scrunched stares that morph slowly into glassy-eyed gazes of admiration and intellectual envy … drink in hand, I wax abstrusely, holding court, spinning intricate metaphysical webs … eventually, after the crowd has dispersed and the taxis have disappeared into the night, I go home with the elegant brunette who spent the evening smoking pensively in the corner.
Adverb tally: 4?
by 74mk on
Nov 22, 2008 6:04 AM PST
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Or, foreshadowing here, you can just talk about Captain Crunch
It’s a very protean book.
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 22, 2008 9:39 AM PST
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Childhood's End is a seminal sf work.
If you made a list of 10 must-read sf novels, it would have to be on there.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 9:04 PM PST
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Yeah,
I’d categorise it as S(peculative) F(iction), and more specifically science fiction.
I didn’t mention Stephenson’s stuff because I was tailoring my reply more towards a fantasy angle.
Atwood is pretty good.
Hmm, pompous and overbred, eh? Try John Crowley’s Aegpyt series, and, Little, Big. Also, China Mieville’s Perdido Street Station.
And as I mentioned uptop, Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell, though IMO her short stories are much better, it seems to me that she tries too hard to be “literary” in the novel.
Ellen Kushner’s books, ie Swordpoint, the Fall of The Kings, the Privilege of the Swords. Fair warning, if you have an issue with GLBTness, Kushner’s protagonists are often GLBT.
Karen Joy Fowler’s novels.
John Brunner’s books, such as, The Sheep Look Up, and Stand on Zanzibar, are pretty “serious”, and pretty depressing. Very challenging, literary, and thoughtful. Some would even call his science fiction books, “overbred, pompous, crap”. Definitely not light entertainment. AFAIK, Brunner was the first SF writer to address issues such as overpopulation and environmental degradation in his books.
I highly recommend Brunner, but books like The Sheep Look Up, and Stand on Zanzibar, are NOT stuff you read after a long hard tiring day, or something you read if you want cheering up. He can write light entertaining stuff too, but what he wrote, tends not to be easily available / in print.
If works with overly feminist views don’t scare you, Tehanu by LeGuin, or better, the short stories set in that Earthsea setting. Candas Jane Dorsey’s Black Wine.
Flowers for Algernon, by Daniel Keyes.
Also, Zelazny and McKillip.
For “hard” science fiction, that contains much more (real world) science, Greg Bear’s books, and Vernor Vinge’s books.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 21, 2008 11:48 PM PST
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For a really pompous ovebred book,
Greer Llene Gilman’s Moonwise. I still haven’t been able to finish it yet, despite trying several times.
And to bring this discussion back to Potter, and people studying in schools to learn magic, Caroline Stevermer’s College of Magics. Very fun and charming.
If you can find it, Stevemer’s Serpent’s Egg is a very charming comedy of manners, a short slim book set in pseudo Elizabethan England. It is something of a cult work among SF fans, long out of print and very very hard to find. Probably only findable in the closed stacks of your local college.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 22, 2008 12:06 AM PST
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And the very open e-stacks of ebay
Still, I prefer the mystical trek through the depths of college dungeons libraries. Your cell phone stops working, the air takes on a dry, parchment-like texture, and you lose any sense of orientation. Finally after lengths and lengths of dull red and brown bindings you decode the Library of Congress sorting system and start judging books by their covers until you find a treasure.
by GoA's on
Nov 23, 2008 12:51 AM PST
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Oh yes,
one last recommendation, I forgot to suggest William Sanders’ truly wonderful The Ballad of Billy Badass and the Rose of Turkestan. With a title like that, it’s definitely not pompous and overbred. Funny and thoughtful, with a love story and even a message,
the protagonist is a native american Gulf War veteran.
ZIPS: Milledge: 466 HR, 485 2B, 2282 hits, 278-379-524
by rfloh on
Nov 22, 2008 1:20 AM PST
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Thanks much
1. The Wikipedia entries for the Brunner books basically read “dystopia, dystopia, dystopia, we’re all f***ed”, which makes me think his stuff is right up my alley. So I think I’ll go with The Sheep Look Up.
On the other hand, I also like the Giordano Bruno angle in Aegypt. What the hell, maybe I’ll pick that up while I’m on this buying spree. It only takes one fearless bookstore consumer to jump start a wheezing, stumbling economy, right? And it might as well be me. Damn the torpedoes.
2. Not only am I wholly unfazed by gays, lesbians, and feminists, I also enjoy the company of environmentalists, union workers, Planned Parenthood staffers, evolutionary biology professors, Muslims, and Democrats. I might purchase The Privilege of the Sword just to piss off Brit Hume (if you see him suffer violent neck spasms while dryly reciting a story about Barney Frank’s master socialist plan to reallocate all middle class income into a trust fund for illegal immigrants, that’s me paging through Kushner … I feel like if I concentrate really hard, I could make this happen)
3. I think I’ve read Flowers for Algernon, possibly in school at some point.
by 74mk on
Nov 22, 2008 5:51 AM PST
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To continue the flood of suggestions:
My reading tastes veer toward the lighter side of sci-fi/fantasy, so that’s the grain of salt to think about with all my suggestions:
In no particular order:
1) Ringworld by Larry Niven: a classic old-school “hard sci-fi” with a cast of odd aliens exploring a theoretically plausible man-made ring world. Short and breezy.
2) Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card: this is one of those books almost no-one has ever read and then hated. Widely regarded as Card’s best work. A coming-of-age tale about a young child sent off to battle school, he’s an unappreciated underdog (sort of like a certain Bay Area baseball team). When my friend was learning French she picked up the French version because she wanted to reread it for the forth time.
3) Good Omens by Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchett: Pratchett is master of comic fantasy and Gaimen always goes for the dark stuff. They came together to tell a tale of the apocalypse and the talents blended perfectly. Best part are two main characters: a demon who’s kinda nice and an angel with a dark streak, who are pals.
4) Discworld series by Terry Pratchett: None to serious here. Pratchett’s quite prolific, with maybe 30 books in the series by now. Lots of allusions to our own world as seen through a funky, off-beat lens. I keep coming back to his books because he is a master at wordplay, a good line of the top of my head: “There are overhead costs underfoot”. Tons of memorable characters as well. Books are short and I’ve occasionally finished ’em in one long Sunday. Best not to read a bunch in a row as you eventually tire from the style.
5) Fool on the Hill by Matt Ruff: Ruff is a little known who is a personal favorite of mine. He dabbles in supernatural fiction rather than straight up fantasy. Fool on the Hill is a good v. Evil battle set on the Cornell campus. Fun characters like faeries (all with Shakespearian names) and a group called the Bohemians who ride around campus on horses (except ZZ Top, who rides a donkey, and Ragnorak, who rides a black motercycle) Not all the characters have names that weird. Ruff adds many allusions to the process of writing which are an extra bit of fun.
6) The Pern series by Anne McCaffrey: a young adult fantasy series about dragon riders who regularly must battle against mindless silver threads that fall from the sky and devour crops. McCaffrey isn’t the greatest writer, but I find her world fascinating. There are three main groups: dragonriders, holds (medival type feudal holdings), and craft halls. This isn’t a quest for the treasure type fantasy, it’s about world altering events and how the characters face the challenge. Another group of quick reads.
7) The Mars trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson: a series of books about the colonization of Mars, going from the first 100 scientists sent out and expanding into corporations vying for control and underground resistance in an ever complicated venture to terraform the planet . I especially like the beginning, as many of the ideas seems quite plausible and get you thinking about what might happen if we really do go to Mars (who knows, may happen before capture another Series, though I’m not really that cynical). After the first book things delve into the realm of sci-fi as it grows farther away from our current level of technology. Especially good are the various character studies as they come spending a lifetime away from Earth.
Well, that’s enough to keep a person busy until Spring Training starts up. I hope people can find something that peaks their interest.
by GoA's on
Nov 21, 2008 11:42 PM PST
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Ender's Game
is absolutely fantastic. I’ve read it once and never forgotten, and it’s on my short list of ’to read again."
I also love Ray Bradbury – his new one, Now and Forever, is great, but I especially loved Dandelion Wine and the Martian Chronicles.
Also, if you like more fantastical kids’ books like Harry Potter, I suggest the Bartimaeus Trilogy, by Jonathon Shroud. All three books are wonderful.
by Squeaky on
Nov 22, 2008 7:45 AM PST
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The whole Ender series is great
Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, and Children of the Mind
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 22, 2008 1:27 PM PST
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It is a great series.
Though it’s been quite some time since I read them.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
by alox on
Nov 22, 2008 1:53 PM PST
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Plus, if you haven't had enough, there's also the Shadow saga
Ender’s Shadow was an interesting read, as it paralleled the events in Ender’s Game. This led to three more books following supporting characters in the main series. Yeah, it’s a spin off series done on paper instead of on TV.
by GoA's on
Nov 23, 2008 12:56 AM PST
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Wow. Thanks for all the info.
So many choices! Hmm. I’ll do some investigating next time I’m in a bookstore. Bookstores are dangerous places, though: I kept buying books faster than I could read them. And then I realized that was too expensive, so now I’m getting books from the library faster than I can read them. So many books, so little time…
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 22, 2008 10:08 AM PST
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Child 44 by Tom Rob Smith
Good stuff.
Procrastinators unite....tomorrow
by muffinpryde on
Nov 22, 2008 4:45 PM PST
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My contribution to the HP discussion is that the characters have really irritating names
The A's colors are green and gold.
by mikeA on
Nov 21, 2008 3:14 PM PST
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I've been reading some criticism of these books
Good Lord this looks like absolute garbage writing.
“The author loves adjectives, adverbs, and any word that can stretch out a sentence.” – Natalie Pompillo
Thank you, Natalie Pompillo of the Philadelphia Enquirer. I’m almost tempted to try reading some of his trash just so I can say how badly it sucks. Attention fiction writers: ADVERBS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND! If you need adverbs (The occasional one, I’m sure, is quite inoffensive), it’s because your writing is weak and you’ve done nothing to make the reader aware of how “-ly” something is. That or you hate your readers and want to insult their intelligence, because the other thing adverbs do is say “Hey, stupid, you’re not smart enough to get it so I have to give you an adverb to explain it.”
Ok, I’m done ranting, but it seems like Stephenie Meyer is everything I’m trying not to be as a writer. Well, except for selling millions and millions of books. That’s pretty cool.
by thejd44 on
Nov 21, 2008 12:02 AM PST
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thank you
Adverbs are an abomination. Adjectives only slightly less so.
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 7:40 AM PST
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I couldn’t spit out the definition for “adverb” with a gun to my head, so I can’t comment on the first assertion. The second one is ridiculous, though.
(with the caveat that there is at least a 40% chance you were aiming for some sort of jokey wink-wink wordplay thing that renders my criticism moot … as you know, I lack the energy and aptitude necessary to puzzle those out)
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 8:21 AM PST
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Guessing it is since
“slightly” is an adverb. I think.
99 MPH with as much control as a deflating balloon - CurveballKing on H-Rod
by Scottbass on
Nov 21, 2008 8:37 AM PST
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Good
When monkeyball says something that seems insane, my standard operating procedure is to assume it’s actually a joke I’m not getting.
Except he never explains the jokes, despite my fervent pleadings. Which means a) they aren’t jokes after all, and he is actually sort of insane, or b) he’s cackling cruelly behind a keyboard somewhere, tapping out yet one more indecipherable pun with one hand while gripping a long slim cigarette holder in the other, as dozens of sad trapped Dalmatians totter in the background.
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 8:58 AM PST
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this one's not a joke
Adverbs are so far beneath my contempt that I usually don’t even bother addressing them. And they are, as thejd44 points out, an obvious flag of lazy and poor writing.
Adjectives, though, are a more overused and insidious crutch for middling-to-fair writers. Used judiciously they’re fine; but (like semicolons and parenthetics and similes and run-on sentences), their overuse makes for flaccid prose.
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 9:33 AM PST
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[phoning suicide watch over inadequacy of writing style]
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 9:45 AM PST
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that should be "phones suicide watch *despondently*"
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 10:05 AM PST
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"Despondently phoning suicide watch inadequately"
"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL
by oblique on
Nov 21, 2008 2:28 PM PST
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1. Now that I know what they are, I think will to continue use adverbs, perhaps even more avidly than before. This may make my posts (even more) insufferable to read, but the flush of rebellion is sort of intoxicating.
2. This doesn’t really have anything to do with what you or thejd44 just wrote, nor does it describe either of you in the least, but it’s somewhat germane: Grammar/sentence structure scolds who are themselves precise, tidy, proper, and absolutely f***ing terrible writers are a scourge upon humanity. Like death plagues and bark beetles, except worse.
Lots of people get stuck on “correct”, never bother to be interesting or even coherent, yet can always be counted on to chide a stranger on a blog for the high crime of semicolon misappropriation.
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 12:15 PM PST
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My niece says she loves you. I told her I don’t know if you are a guy or a girl. She said she doesn’t care. I told her you were either born in 1974, graduated in 1974, are 74 years old, or have a 74 fetish. She said she doesn’t care.
She said she likes Jack Daniels, Jack in the Box, and Jack Cust, and since there is a “k” in your name, that you would love her right back.
Is there something you can tell me that will discourage her from this clearly nonsencial infatuaion?
If not, pics available upon request.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 21, 2008 12:33 PM PST
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Nothing kills a joke like consecutive misspelled words.
That’s what I get for mentioning Jack Cust in my comment. Two strikes.
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 21, 2008 12:40 PM PST
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two stricks
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 12:42 PM PST
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Somewhere out there a butterfly is entering its death throes
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 1:56 PM PST
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I'm definitely one of the following:
a) Barack Obama
b) Dick Cavett
c) salb918’s joke account
d) a random dude stuck in a nondescript cubicle six steps from a hallway trafficked by domineering polo clad assholes who spend their days yammering banalities into sleek-looking earpieces and browbeating swagger-deficient co-workers into submission
e) Zadie Smith
f) none of the above
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 2:27 PM PST
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You totally need some adverbs in d)
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 2:28 PM PST
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{Waves at salb}
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 2:49 PM PST
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I agree with your #2
And what I’m arguing isn’t a grammar issue at all. There is nothing grammatically wrong with adjectives or adverbs. That’s not what I mean by “poor writing” or “amateur writing” (and I am, basically, an amateur writer as I’ve gotten paid to write only occasionally and I’ve never gotten paid for fiction).
There are no real “rules” in fiction. You can get away with anything if you’re good enough at it. The problem is that when you’re not awesome at breaking one of the “rules” that makes for good writing, the writing usually fails miserably. To bring it back around, maybe Meyer can use the adjectives and adverbs so deftly that it’s not the least bit obnoxious or insulting. But if that were so, I think the critic (who I know nothing about and may be terrible at her job) would not have noticed their prevalence in the work.
Last thing: context matters. The your/you’re thing bugs me, even when I see it here, but I’m a lot more likely to ignore it on AN than I am if I’m reading a person’s supposedly literary writing in a workshop.
by thejd44 on
Nov 21, 2008 12:40 PM PST
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I got that you were distinguishing between grammar and composition … thus the “this doesn’t really have anything to do with what you or thejd44 just wrote” disclaimer.
I agree with this entirely:
There are no real "rules" in fiction. You can get away with anything if you’re good enough at it. The problem is that when you’re not awesome at breaking one of the "rules" that makes for good writing, the writing usually fails miserably.
As to Stephenie Meyer and her critic:
Saying that the author of the Twilight series is a terrible writer strikes me as akin to observing that dirt tastes bad. FJM aside, I’ve never considered fish in a barrel criticism to be particularly enlightening or entertaining.
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 2:13 PM PST
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I didn't consider it fish-in-a-barrel criticism because I had never heard of Meyer
Or the Twilight series until, well, this thread.
I’ll tell you one thing. It makes this week’s South Park a lot funnier.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 10:37 AM PST
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This has to be the world's most boring argument.
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy."
-Charles Manson
by kaweahkaweah on
Nov 21, 2008 2:34 PM PST
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Gosh
I didn’t even realize we were arguing. I mean, I knew it was boring, don’t get me wrong. But more or less boring than pun wars and rapid fire Sweeney ogling? Hard to say. Matter of taste, I suppose. On the whole, probably unfair to tag it as the world’s most boring argument discussion. Can we say North America’s most boring (but amicable!) argument exchange of ideas, and call it a day? Unless thejd44 is based in Morocco or something, in which case I guess I’d have to grudgingly accept your formulation.
Wait, is “grudgingly” an adverb?
by 74mk on
Nov 21, 2008 3:50 PM PST
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rapid fire-Sweeney ogling?
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 3:58 PM PST
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FIRE SWEENEY-OGLING NOW!
Thanks for tomorrow 'cause I've had enough
by andeux on
Nov 21, 2008 4:27 PM PST
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^ RAPID
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 4:53 PM PST
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...in bed.
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy."
-Charles Manson
by kaweahkaweah on
Nov 21, 2008 6:05 PM PST
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RAPIDLY FIRE SWEENEY-OGLING!
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 5:06 PM PST
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I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 5:15 PM PST
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I vote for:
It’s more boring than pun wars (which are not boring at all) and less boring than Sweeney-ogling (which is).
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 4:11 PM PST
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So in essence
Sweeney-ogling needs more puns and less buns?
I'm here to talk about the past.
by 67MARQUEZ on
Nov 21, 2008 4:33 PM PST
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So punny I swooned.
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 22, 2008 1:28 PM PST
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I think an important distinction needs to be made
I’m referring to literary writing. Different styles have different requirements.
Adjectives and adverbs aren’t always terrible. And even in literary writing they have some use. But moderation is the key. Too many adverbs are as much of a turnoff as too many exclamation points, italics used for emphasis, or ridiculous dialogue tags (I tend to only use “said” or “asked” when I use any at all).
by thejd44 on
Nov 21, 2008 12:33 PM PST
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But there are *so* many other great words to use for dialogue tags!
comment, whisper, murmur, query, question, demand, inquire, request, beg, claim, urge, assert, remark, reply, respond, retort, verbalize, articulate, announce, communicate…
…aren’t thesauri wonderful?
by whiteshoes40 on
Nov 21, 2008 3:20 PM PST
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and my personal favorite, "quipped"
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 4:37 PM PST
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Please be joking.
Or fooling, joshing, kidding, jesting, funning, mocking, razzing, ribbing…
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 4:41 PM PST
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"Please be joking,"
Poppy quipped hopefully.
Thanks for tomorrow 'cause I've had enough
by andeux on
Nov 21, 2008 4:45 PM PST
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I "hate" you.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 5:00 PM PST
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Rule #3 from Elmore Leonard's rules of writing:
3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with "she asseverated," and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 10:40 AM PST
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Christ, what an asseverator
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 22, 2008 10:51 AM PST
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There's a huge difference between "grumbled" and "lied"
One tells the reader what the tone of the utterance was. The other tells the reader what the truth of the utterance was.
Tone can be difficult to grasp from the printed word. Truth is obvious to anyone that’s paying attention. Whereas telling someone the truth of a character’s statement is kind of insulting— can’t they figure it out themselves?
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 22, 2008 11:30 AM PST
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No good fiction author should ever ever EVER *say* that her character is lying
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 22, 2008 1:18 PM PST
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No one with an appreciation for the folly of certitude should ever ever EVER say “ever ever EVER”.
by 74mk on
Nov 22, 2008 1:40 PM PST
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The point is that the tone shouldn't be ambiguous if the writing is strong enough
A tag more descriptive than said is often propping up the weaker writing around it. The aversion to such words isn’t necessarily the wrods themselves, but the idea that they’re unnecessary for the good writer.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 5:02 PM PST
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That's not how I write
I do the exact opposite, trying to avoid “blah blah blah,” said X. “Hum hum hum,” said Y. Said said said gets repetitive fast, and in a dialogue-heavy story it reads like bad teenage lit.
For me, if I can work the structure to makes clear who’s saying what, I find I can dispense with the verb altogether. Which is what Leonard, who I like quite a lot, does to.
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on
Nov 22, 2008 12:09 PM PST
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, said FSU
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 22, 2008 1:18 PM PST
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said FSU selfrighteously
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 22, 2008 1:30 PM PST
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"whom"
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 22, 2008 3:25 PM PST
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There is nothing wrong with repetition
Haven’t read much Hemingway, I assume.
I think younger writers (and I am one, and I read lots of it) don’t realize how often their writing is clear and tags aren’t needed, but they use them anyway. If you have two people in a room (and this isn’t a story where it’s been established that God or some other outside voice is a speaking character) and they’re about to start a conversation, the reader understands the possibilities of who might talk. At most you should have to say “Blah blah blah,” Joe said. And then until there’s a chance for ambiguity there’s no need to have another tag. Sometimes, depending on the conversation, you might not need any tag (if, at some point earlier, we know that Joe just met the girl of his dreams, you can start with “She was amazing.” and it should be clear who is talking as long as we know who is involved in the conversation).
Also, as far as “bad teenage lit.” That’s where you see most of the crazy verbs. Do a quick scan of most of the classic works. You won’t see (m)any strange tags.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 5:07 PM PST
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"ijn bed."
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 22, 2008 5:26 PM PST
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Is that from a Dutch fortune cookie?
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 22, 2008 5:32 PM PST
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"ja."
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 22, 2008 5:56 PM PST
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Rule #'s 3, 7, 16, and 39 from 74mk's rules of writing:
3. Constantly checking the rear view mirror for the Rules Police guts the fun from writing.
7. Never use sweeping “never” assertions. They are usually stupid.
16. If you read lots of good books, you will almost always, by default, write well. If you don’t, you won’t. All other considerations (dialogue pedantry and adverb-bashing and such) are ancillary to this.
39. FreeSeatUpgrade says many wise things.
by 74mk on
Nov 22, 2008 12:47 PM PST
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7
I think the point behind Leonard saying “never” is that you really can’t go wrong by never saying anybody asservated something. You might be able to be right with some other verb but said, but it’s a delicate move to pull off. It’s best to avoid it unless you are really good at it or have built up enough credibility that you can do whatever you want (Stephen King could probably write a book breaking every rule ever created and it’d still get published and sell a million copies).
As for 16: I think this is mostly true. The part about “If you don’t, you won’t” is especially true.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 5:11 PM PST
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16 is what it comes down to
The A's colors are green and gold.
by mikeA on
Nov 22, 2008 11:51 PM PST
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But isn't "slightly" an adverb?
99 MPH with as much control as a deflating balloon - CurveballKing on H-Rod
by Scottbass on
Nov 21, 2008 2:54 PM PST
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Monkeyball sputters incoherently and uselessly while Stephenie Meyer counts her money incorrectly
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 1:53 PM PST
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nice use of adverbs there
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 2:04 PM PST
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{Takes Bow}
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
by nevermoor on
Nov 21, 2008 2:23 PM PST
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{takes bow excellently}
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 2:26 PM PST
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{quivers pointedly}
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 2:28 PM PST
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{ LOLs cattily }
"God doesn't pay attention to your cute little hypotheticals." -- Jeff from LL
by oblique on
Nov 21, 2008 2:30 PM PST
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I would think "undeservingly" would be a better adverb than "incorrectly."
Unless she’s counting wrong. Do we know if Stephenie Meyer knows how to count?
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 10:42 AM PST
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I am going to see it...
simply because a friend I haven’t seen in six months loves Twilight and wants to go, and it will probably be the only time this year our schedules actually meet up (She’s at Juilliard, I’m at Columbia University).
It looks horrible though.
by Squeaky on
Nov 21, 2008 7:15 AM PST
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From Rob Neyer Today:
“I’ll say this, though: If the A’s do sign Furcal, this winter we’re going to have to take them seriously as contenders in the American League West. Because the Angels can be beat.”
"With 16-year-old Dominican righty Michel Inoa in tow, Gio Gonzalez improving at Triple-A and lefty Brett Anderson carving up Double-Abatters along with Simmons and Trevor Cahill, Oakland’s pitching depthis officially the envy of baseball." - BaseballAmerica.com
by Syphon on
Nov 21, 2008 1:28 AM PST
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Excuse me, Syphon, but that's a "baseball" comment.
This is a “teenage vampire” thread.
Take it “outside,” please.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 6:57 AM PST
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Teenage Vampire flicks
1. The Lost Boys
2. Once Bitten
Why make more?
I am Ray Fosse's infatuations with Clay Wood and high-definition television.
by franks a lot on
Nov 21, 2008 6:58 AM PST
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Or "ANY?"
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 6:59 AM PST
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer doesn't count? (Even though the show was so much better than the crappy movie)
by thejd44 on
Nov 21, 2008 12:41 PM PST
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Kristy Swanson > Sarah Michelle Gellar though.
And Angel was better, but I digress.
by OldhamA on
Nov 21, 2008 1:20 PM PST
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One thing you can say about those Commies ...
… they know how to deal with uncompetitive companies.
Yu go, guys.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 7:11 AM PST
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In other news: SoCal atheist billboard message removed...
… but while that’s ridiculous, it’s not nearly as outrageous as the billboard they removed in September.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 11:23 AM PST
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"rejuvenation?"
How much has it been through?!
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 1:19 PM PST
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Well...
… it seemed only fair to inquire further, possibly learning something new about returning favors gratefully received therefrom, over half-a-lifetime of rejuvenations.
Turns out it’s just a surgical excuse to spend money, for those who are too lazy for kegels.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 1:54 PM PST
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For the Tony Bruno fans out there
Bruno on Twilight</em this morning: “If I wanted to see a bunch a teenagers kissing and biting each other, I’d just go to the local drive-in movie theater.”
In other news, Bruno’s finally back! Not when it’s starting, but he landed a national syndication gig. “Into the Night with Tony Bruno” will be airing on AM 1050 weeknights from 7p-10p.
by GoA's on
Nov 21, 2008 11:24 AM PST
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Texas Tech scored 167 points in one night
>http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/boxscore?gid=200811200592
I couldn’t get the link to work for the article about it to work but at least the box score did. Not that the article was any good. The title was
Texas Tech scores 167 points, and I don’t mean the football team
When was the last time a football team even scored even 100 points?
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
by micdog2001 on
Nov 21, 2008 11:31 AM PST
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Unbelievable number of shots attempted in that game
That one’s going to screw up the non-tempo-adjusted stats for Tech for the entire season…
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 21, 2008 1:07 PM PST
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aww...
what an adorable observation!
I just wanna pinch your cheeks!
"I have more questions after these."-WaddellCanseco
by Gaijin_Suketto on
Nov 21, 2008 1:35 PM PST
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De-Fense! (clap clap) De-Fense!
Oh wait, there was no defense in that game….
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 21, 2008 1:36 PM PST
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maybe there was rhetorical defense
I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 1:39 PM PST
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No, ,that's when you say, "Why would my client have done it?"
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 1:42 PM PST
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Random story
A friend of mine has a job screening applicants for some sort of national teaching program. One of the questions is “why do you want to teach?” or something along those lines. One of the applicants wrote “It is my dream to eradicate generations of youth.”
The A's colors are green and gold.
by mikeA on
Nov 21, 2008 1:45 PM PST
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At least he was honest.
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
by salb918 on
Nov 21, 2008 1:46 PM PST
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Because a mind is a terrible thing.
"Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it?"-Steve McCatty
by 5Aces on
Nov 21, 2008 2:56 PM PST
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Every now and then something on AN has me laughing out loud to the point where somebody comes into my room
to investigate the situation. This was one of those times.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 10:43 AM PST
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Video of first BASE jump from the Burj Dubai.
here. Pretty cool.
The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus
by The Dogfather on
Nov 21, 2008 3:15 PM PST
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Awesome.
I was in Dubai the first week of June. Didn’t get nearly as close to the Burj Dubai, but it’s quite an amazing sight.
There's no crying in baseball!
by gigglingone on
Nov 21, 2008 6:48 PM PST
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Okay... it's safe now...
Nebraska’s Butt Bandit has finally been apprehended.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 5:18 PM PST
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Greased, what an asshole!
Chocolate Truffle
by Ice Cream on
Nov 21, 2008 8:44 PM PST
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sneak preview of tomorrow's Cinematic Interlude: CHAVVY AND THE ATHLETIC FACTORY
Illustration courtesy of my partner in crime, JediLeroy:

I also have a pretty high shame threshold. @('.')@
by monkeyball on
Nov 21, 2008 5:41 PM PST
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What is this, a freak out?!
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on
Nov 22, 2008 12:10 PM PST
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Why the hell do public libraries close at 5 or 6 on Fridays?
And why the hell do people with percussive musical instruments move into apartment buildings?
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 5:59 PM PST
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For two years
I lived under a guy who played bongos.
TWO YEARS.
My advice is to take bagpipe lessons. That’ll show ’em.
"You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy."
-Charles Manson
by kaweahkaweah on
Nov 21, 2008 6:06 PM PST
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I could already show 'em by letting Poppy Jr. use his amp in his bedroom,
which is right above theirs. But that won’t get my papers written.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 6:12 PM PST
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The percussive instrument, btw, is a piano.
Drums of any kind would be easier to tune out. Poppy Jr. is also a drummer, but his kit is at Grandma’s house. BECAUSE I’M A RESPECTFUL APARTMENT-DWELLER.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
by Poppy on
Nov 21, 2008 6:13 PM PST
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My advice is to take rifle lessons
We apparently have different problem-solving methods.
by thejd44 on
Nov 22, 2008 10:47 AM PST
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Yes, I'd prefer to solve my problems in the prone position
…
What? It’s a valid shooting posture…
Your 2008 Athletics: It's Nothing Personal.
by PaulThomas on
Nov 22, 2008 11:33 AM PST
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Why yes, yes it is.
I’m given to understand that missionary’s actually prefer taking their shots from this position.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer
by alox on
Nov 22, 2008 12:16 PM PST
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The thing I don't understand is...
whats wrong with what he did? Isn’t that exactly what the wall was designed for?
facepalm.jpg
by Zonis on
Nov 21, 2008 9:59 PM PST
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Saw Twilight last night
Some parts are decent, mostly its just cheesy. Enjoyable experience, fun to laugh at it with your friends.
by Squeaky on
Nov 22, 2008 8:17 AM PST
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it's amazing
i laughed like a drain all the way through
BB should send scouts to watch cricket players.
by alea iacta est on
Nov 22, 2008 8:17 AM PST
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