September QOTM
by Jennifer on Oct 1, 2008 5:01 AM PDT
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Sadly, as the 2008 Oakland A's season ends, so does another year of QOTM. Never fear lovely readers, unless something terrible happens (I'm talking about a Ryan-Dale-Travis trade to the Pirates), QOTM will be back next year around the time pitchers and catchers report.
Stay strong. Stay funny.
To the quotes!
DyeLongJustice: i didn't realize the orioles sponsored walk-a-thons... next time i’ll pledge some money
Nico RE photo: I like that the kid in the black jersey is already taking up a collection to help pay for Hannahan’s funeral.
Still more on Hannahan from alox: Jack Hannahan has arrived to kill the rally. Maybe he should hit while standing on his hands?
danmerqury: I don't think Meyer's allowed behind the batter's box.
monkeyball: Baltimore's second baseman started his own baseball academy... would he call it Oriole Roberts University?
Replies
schmifty: Yeah, I thought we were 99% sure this wasn't going to happen... but I made one last desperate check, and it was on!
alox: Gee....that sounds exactly like my old dating mantra.
thesteve9x: My fantasy team needs to get Ziggy with it tonight
oaklandSMASH: So does my reality team
Blicks: Why the fuck do you I-walk Sheffield? He is NOT that dangerous in ’08.
WaddellCanseco: He's pretty dangerous in this series
IowaA'sFan: He's pretty dangerous to your mama.
WaddellCanseco: She's cowering at her home I'm sure.
thesteve9x: Yeah mine just called and asked if it got so cold because Sheffield was at the plate. Oh mom, you know your 2008 Detroit Tigers.
Nico: I would give my left testicle for a good new SS and I would give my right testicle for a good new 3Bman. I’ve put a lot of thought into this and I am fully prepared to accept castration as a fair exchange for improvement on the left side of the infield.
IowaA'sFan: Are you quoting Shakespeare? A shortstop! A shortstop! My left nut for a shortstop!
thejd44: I would also sacrifice my testicles, but only if I could get prostheses. I don’t care about the "no kids" thing, but I don’t wanna be deformed. I’m vain.
Nico: You do realize they're worn on the inside of the clothes, right?
Englishmajor: How great would it be... if you could eat in High-Def? I mean, everything in the world would taste like Dibs!
mikev: You know, I pretty much like PaulThomas. The only thing that really frightens me about him is that he could probably come up with a way to statistically prove that I don’t even exist. That would suck.
grover: PT is not that good Sal could prove your parents never existed, therefore there was never a chance of your existence.
Nico: You know who's even better at that? notsellinggenes.
doctorK: Did Ellis just say Dr Freebird would do his surgery? I have this image of a mulleted-redneck cutting into his shoulder with a Bowie knife.
Soaker: Replay used in the Twins-Rays game Umps’ call is overturned and Carlos Pena is given a home run (instead of a double due to fan interference as the umpires had ruled). Looked like the correct call was home run, but it delayed the game for over 4 minutes.
Leopold Bloom: It was a nightmare. My nachos got cold.
monkeyball: nacho cubes?
oblique: nacho runes?
On Jim Riggleman being ejected on the Daric Barton play at third:
rocknjosie: Three mile island! It’s a meltdown!
monkeyball: {cue xbhaskarx and salb918 defending nuclear energy}
Taj Adib: Quick poll: who’s thinks the A’s have one more dramatic home-game come-from-behind win in them?
rocknjosie: I have faith in the M's ineptitude... and thus cling to a hope like a Titanic survivor
rocknjosie on Aaron Cunningham: Wooohooo! he’s clutch and a cunning linguist.
schmifty [from the Mets booth]: Gary Cohen: "The new Reds pitcher is Jon Coutlangus"
Keith Hernandez: "Oh my"
Gary: It’s very carefully pronounced"
Keith: "It’s a tongue-twister, isn’t it?" (10 seconds of dead air)
Nico: Was the left-hander Morty Felasho also throwing?
Kimberly: Oh, it feels good to be home. I thought my head was going to implode from all the information people were throwing at me today. I just wanna sit, be lazy, and eat cake dang it.
WaddellCanseco: Where were you? Supercollider?
Jennifer on Daric Barton: Seriously. I wanted to knock Dale over the head and take him home with me.
whiteshoes40: Just set out a kiddie pool with a bit of water in it. He’ll knock himself out and then you can take him home.
monkeyball: {blinks, rubs eyes}
Bobby Crosby has been told that his playing time will be reduced for the end of the season in order to see some of the rookies.
thejd44: I'm pretty sure I could die in a car accident today and that line will still make it an overall positive day for me kbtoyz: Wow Winner of the fuinniest/most rediculous statement this week
monkeyball: he lived long enough to see Crosby benched. That’s all any of us ask, really.
thejd44: ...I should’ve said that on a day when I wasn’t planning on driving around the city of Chicago. This could very well be my last day.
rocknjosie: I sure do love the banjo-man
lynnzgal: Me too. how old is that guy?
WaddellCanseco: I'm hoping he's even older than me.
lynnzgal: Late 60's is my guess
gigglingone: older than that I remember banjo man being old back when i was a kid
67MARQUEZ: my nephew is convinced that he’s the zodiac killer.
Blicks: MLB.TV's being a pain in the ass What did Cliffy do?
OaktownPower: Slashed at one...high chopper K Rod threw it down 880.
MobiusKlein: And we know how bad 880 can be at the end of a home game. That ball might make it home by 11:30
The Dogfather:
BTW, here’s a pic of Valbuena’s slide into Staplehead on Saturday:
I’m surprised we can even see the ball (near V’s ankle, I think), which must have been traveling at approximately the speed of light.
Zonis: [I'm] in Chicago... Whats a Sherman tank doing in Vietnam? And it looks really well preserved for being 65 years old...
Flashfire: It looks like it's pretty rusty to me, plus I don't see any treads.
monkeyball: that's not a Sherman tank, it's Frank Thomas!
PortlandPachyderm: OK, since this is the last time we face LAAAA this year I say it’s time to start plunkin’ and brawlin’. Let’s see what our kids are really made of. (Besides, the game has become too boring).
A'sian: That could be a whole new way to play spoiler.
Jennifer: Ry Bear with an axe... Dale with a machete.
whiteshoes40: Okay, I can picture Vampire Dale doing some damage, but Ryan is entirely too cuddly to be brutal. He’d just run after Dale, saying, "Can’t we all just get along?" ... But then again, if someone tried to hurt Daric... it’d be on like Donkey Kong.
Jennifer: Come on. He's a beast! Ryan would be shirtless, wearing some war paint and a bandanna.... the blood of his mortal enemy splattered across his chest.
PortlandPachyderm:
67MARQUEZ on sal's birthday: hb2salb918 Time for, yup, cake.
theblackpearl: That cake is too big. Can you get a step ladder so he can see the top.
Jennifer: What happened to Hannahan's right eye?
McFood: The previous night he was walking through the parking lot after the game when he saw a school bus full of nuns and orphans being attacked by a gang of ninja sharks. Like a bolt of lightning, and without a thought for his own safety, he jumped into the fray and single hanahandedly fought off the whole gang, estimated to be between 70 and 500. Unfortunately he suffered a black eye in the skirmish. Either that, or he poked himself in the eye with a straw while drinking his hot chocolate.
monkeyball on Ned Yost being fired: uh ... weird
thejd44: Not that weird... Other than that they’re in contention, the guy is a really, really bad manager. He’s also not exactly the type players enjoy playing for.
I’m not sure he’ll even notice if he’s fired though. I think he’s still trying to get people to acknowledge CC’s attempt at a no hitter.
monkeyball: But isn’t this a case where the incompetent functionary was fired not because he was incompetent, or that as a functionary he’s totally fungible, but because... well, grit/heart/gumption/"light a fire under their asses"/accountability/chicken entrails/Flying Spaghetti Monster/motivational seminar at the Ramada by the beltway off-ramp?
Grant from can a McCovey Chronicles:
"I...I...can’t do that, Seams. I’m no killer. But, what is evil? Is evil just a construct? Nietzsche said that evil is the struggle between slave morality and master morality. I’m not sure if I believe that."
* listens intently *
"Well, I understand that. But that also fits into your whole theory about dolphins and opposable thumbs. Maybe we’re not doomed, you know?"
* listens intently *
"Again with Foucault. You can’t just avoid hermeneutics entirely, you know."
* listens intently *
"Oh, Seams. I wish I could share you with the world. I wish society would understand us."
Gaijin_Suketto on the Rivercats Playoff mustaches: I'm Charlie Finley, and I approve this message.
67MARQUEZ: Charlie, I’m Rollie Fingers, and I am still waiting for my $300 for growing this damn thing.
monkeyball: I neither watch PBS noir listen to NPR (sorry, Englishmajor). I have had a long-standing boycott of Safire for various reasons, not all of which would warrant a CGV in explicating. I don’t believe in decaffeinating coffee beans. And I don’t reserve my SNOOTitude for Sunday brunch.
Ice Cream: PBS noir?
Antiques Roadshow of No Return
The Big Heat: America’s Test Kitchen
Jacques Pepin: Fast Food My Way or the Highway
Suze Orman’s Deadly Women & Money
Bringing to life an idea Poppy had many moons ago, schmifty gives us:
OaklandSi: can we get a rainstorm right now?
alox: Care to start a betting pool on which A gets struck by lightening?
notsellingjeans: Can someone tell me what's going on? I haven’t had an online update in like 5 minutes. Either Braden just got shot, or the O’s have a pitching change, or something. My browser refuses to refresh since Patterson came to the plate.
Jennifer: Braden out. Hurt. no reason. But he came back.
OaklandSi: there are some things even a browser can’t handle
notsellingjeans: Hell: A sluggish browser with Patterson at the plate and the bases juiced. You know something shitty is destined to happen, and yet you don’t know when or how.
doctorK: The way the A's have played in the second half, nobody has anything sewed up
alox: Except Barton's head. That’s been sewn up.
franks a lot: Free Jeff Baisley! And/or Jesus Guzman! I’m tired of Hanrahan. Change for change sake!
baseballgirl: Change because it CAN'T be worse.
MobiusKlein: That's what they said after Wilhelm Kaiser
MobiusKlein: Man, what do I have to post? I try to bring in politics, but we’re so apathetic that I can’t get a CSV!
Leopold Bloom: there's not a huge pro-Nazi/A's fan crossover, I'm afraid.
MobiusKlein: I'm afraid if it's larger than zero.
notsellingjeans: If Peter Angelos is the guy who makes absurd proposals in your fantasy league... Bill Bavasi is the guy in your league that accepts them while he’s staring at his computer screen at 3 a.m., drunk and in his boxers after a frat party.
monkeyball: I want to see D-Fro pull off the rare pick-'em-off-1st-and-3rd
PaulThomas: Apparently it's OK to only hit home runs and strike out as long as you don’t commit the cardinal sin of walking a lot.
devo: If a guy is going to strike out, he needs to earn'em! None of this taking pitches, crap!
thejd44: Jennifer, please keep your pants on when Swooney is up. Thanks.
Jennifer: I'm actually wearing shorts today. And I’m really a guy.
eastcoasta'sfan: Hey, it's OK I can still get excited, I live in MA
jdr: I've honestly never understood why conflicting internet baseball discussions drive people to get personal... Especially over something as trivial as whether a baseball team we both support signs a free agent this offseason, a decision over which neither of us has an influence whatsoever. Very odd.
PaulThomas: Have you argued with grover before? This isn’t personal. All his arguments are like this.
grover: As are yours
PaulThomas: Touche
Jennifer: Random: I saw a really old guy at Kauffman Stadium wearing a Flogging Molly shirt.
67MARQUEZ: Dad said he was going to the store for cigarettes
67MARQUEZ: I am scratching my head over this one. But Jennifer said that sexiness is itchy, so maybe it’s just that.
whiteshoes40: Did we figure out why Ryan looks extra young lately?
Jennifer: Facials?
gigglingone: that means no yankees! yay!!!!!!!!!!
DyeLongJustice: well truthfully, the last time the yanks weren't in the playoffs, michael Inoa was a hell of a lot smaller
WaddellCanseco: Only 5' 11"
thesteve9x on the final day of the regular season: I'm checking into baseball rehab first thing …after the world series, i swear.
alox: I tried that.... I always relapse in March.
thesteve9x: I'm ODing on baseball at the moment... they’ll find me face down on the bathroom floor with the remote still clutched in my hands.
schmifty: Hm, Bobby all clean-shaven now looks weird
alox: He's gotta go look for a job.
thejd44: Aside from beating the A's, why do people hate AJ so much? I’m sure he’s probably a jerk, but I actually really like him as a player.
Englishmajor: There is no probably about it
WaddellCanseco: Do you know him?
Jennifer: He ran over my cat.
Englishmajor: And then he backed up and did it again
WaddellCanseco: He ran over both your cats?
Jennifer: Yeah, they were Siamese.
monkeyball: Someone has posted Eric Patterson for sale on craigslist.
Poppy: I don't get it.
monkeyball: doesn't really fulfill its purpose in either position
andeux: I can’t find Loyality Street on any maps, nor does it appear to be the name of one of Huston’s brothers.
schmifty: That would have to be Loyaliton Street, the little-known brother to Huston, Jordon, Juston, and Hanson.
IowaA'sFan: Pinkie tendons - My daughter also had pinkie tendon surgery recently. Of course, the circumstances were a little different. In her case it was a freak kindergarten scissors accident. Maybe she could offer some advice to Ryan about her recovery. I’ll have to bring her along on my stalkings.
thejd44: How long until she was able to swing a bat?
rubin sierra: Is anybody else really shaken up over this morning's stock market performance? Christ, what a mass sell.
Photo caption:
67MARQUEZ: God: "Kurt, take this bat. With it, you will do my wonders."
DCinWC: Rapture Bat
QOTM from players!
Dana Evenland on his rookie hazing Hot Cops uniform: Actually, it fits nice, but I don’t have any pants, so that’s not right.
Greg Smith on his red-and-white nurse’s dress: Is it weird that I know how to put this on?
Birthdays in October!
Kurt Suzuki - 10/4
FormerHuntsvilleStar - 10/5
Kelly - 10/6
Shippee33 - 10/6
ScottBass - 10/10
Brad Ziegler - 10/10
Ozzz - 10/14
Baseballgirl - 10/14
JM - 10/17
Carlos Gonzalez - 10/17
Keith Foulke - 10/19
Rajai Davis - 10/19
jlaff - 10/21
0R0H03 - 10/22
Kaylin Ziegler - 10/24
Dana Eveland 10/29
Marco Scutaro - 10/30
FIN
EDIT: Okay, to please Poppy, I'm adding birthdays for the rest of the year.
AN - 11/6
batgirl - 11/10
colin - 11/12
Travis Buck - 11/18
Emmett89 - 11/28
Rich Harden - 11/30 :(
Galt - 12/1
Eric Chavez - 12/7
Blez - 12/14
Scott Hatteberg - 12/14
Poppy - 12/18
Jeff Baisley - 12/19
jme - 12/22
Greg Smith - 12/22
Eric in ATL - 12/26
Emil Brown - 12/29
Sean Gallagher - 12/30
misfittoy - 1/7
Bobby Crosby - 1/12
Jack Cust - 1/16
Maya - 1/17
Alan Embree - 1/23
SecretAsianMan - 1/26
Jennifer - 1/26
Dillion - 1/26
Hunter - 1/26
mrod - 2/1
5Aces - 2/11
The Dogfather - 2/12
Andrew Brown - 2/17
Ryan Sweeney - 2/20
Rob Bowen - 2/24
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Yay!
Being born got me in a QOTM FanPost! That’s about my only chance these days… :)
by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Oct 1, 2008 5:50 AM PDT reply actions
Try dying!
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
Good job! I nominate you to do it Feb thru April, too! :-D
I really miss you guys, and I hate being busy. Beyond busy. I actually have to write “shower” and “eat” on my schedule these days, to give those activities a better chance of happening on a regular basis.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
You are missed. Nice to know you are still breathing. I imagine that’s not something you have to schedule?
I'm here to talk about the past.
Shit, I knew I forgot something.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
Breathe, stupid, breathe! You forgot to breathe again
"However, at Elias, I think they keep track of the amount of sunflower seeds spit in a dugout each night." - Brad Ziegler, 8/7/08
Adding one to birthdays! lol My birthday is 10/29 :D
Brought to you by the letter A's!
by LiZaRdReVoLuTiOn on Oct 1, 2008 8:20 AM PDT reply actions
You know, Jennifer,
You should include all the offseason birthdays, too… ;)
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
October birthday...
Wyatt Bodacious Gordon… 10/16/08.
Foolsh, the most insane regular poster on AN since oaktoon left - salb
by FoolshGame22 on Oct 1, 2008 11:31 PM PDT up reply actions
monkeyball's Eric Patterson picture-joke is amazing
by thejd44 on Oct 1, 2008 10:01 AM PDT reply actions
that was incredible.
That came from some devine, inspired place.
"Some of the men didn't wait for the women and children to jump off the sinking ship that is our season." - 67MARQUEZ
by notsellingjeans on Oct 2, 2008 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions
So does this mean
his nickname going forward is “the futon”?
"Camelot sure fell apart, didn't it?"-Steve McCatty
I was thinking of calling him Ikea, but he doesn't look very Swedish.
by thejd44 on Oct 3, 2008 11:19 PM PDT up reply actions
MUST WE "go forward" with him?
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
I liked the PT-grover Socratic dialogue
67MARQUEZ’ dad/cigs quip makes me crack up every time I read it, though.
It's just something we do. It's not something we like. @('.')@
I love the QOTM posts.
seriously my favourite posts are always the QOTM ones.
“Just set out a kiddie pool with a bit of water in it. He’ll knock himself out and then you can take him home.” HA!! love it.
Happy Birthday to all of those celebrating this month! :)
"Ryan [Sweeney] has got the perfect baseball body..." -Mike Sweeney
Wait, so we can't be funny during the offseason?
You know, it’s taken a lot of work to get up to this level of occasional funniness. By the time next season starts, I’ll be back down to my normal state of pretty-much-never funny.
And don’t even mention a Ryan-Dale-Travis trade. Just the thought is enough to give me nightmares.
All three for Slingblade
and the ugly stick with which he was beaten.
by thejd44 on Oct 1, 2008 8:38 PM PDT up reply actions
This is awesome, you guys do such a great job :-)
So, bring on Bonds! Or, not... then, bring back Langerhans!! -One won lost one
I'm voting for alox on Crosby's interview shave
[Crosby] "Guy that has driven in some big runs for the A's over the years" - Vince Cotroneo
Blez and Hatty are two days older than I...
and, Poppy is two days younger.
Foolsh, the most insane regular poster on AN since oaktoon left - salb
Awesome. I like being younger than someone once in a while.
Ray: "How fun is it to be up here playing in the Big Leagues?"
Gio: "It's *SUPER* fun!!!"
Thanks Jennifer
But let’s all try to be funnier in October, ‘kay? I’ll start:
What do you get when you cross and elephant and a rhinocerous?
I'm a street walkin cheetah with a heart full of napalm.
You were plenty funny in yesterday's thread.
At least Counsell allows us to once again experience the spectacle that is one of the oddest batting stances in recent memory. It’s like he’s standing in front of the carnival arcade, at the "Ring Bell, Win Prize" booth, wielding his sledgehammer, and this time he’s really gonna ring that bell and impress his girl, by gum.
Well, I thought it was funny.
I'm here to talk about the past.
What's funnier is that Counsell is still in the majors
And on a playoff team.
by thejd44 on Oct 2, 2008 12:15 PM PDT up reply actions
elephant*rhinoceros*sin(theta)
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
Hopefully, the elephant and rhino are not parallel to each other
Otherwise, we get a whole lot of nothing.
"However, at Elias, I think they keep track of the amount of sunflower seeds spit in a dugout each night." - Brad Ziegler, 8/7/08
It's like the followup, what do you get when you corss an elephant with a mountain goat?
Nothing, the mountain goat is a scalar. ::dodges rotten fruit::
Children, until we have taught them better, will be perfectly happy with a seasonal round of games in which conkers succeeds hopscotch.
Wait, I know this one -
When you cross an elephant with a mountain goat, you get…Oh yeah, syphilis.
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
ditto
My new job does not have me near a computer thus away from the sweet, sweet nectar of Blez’ succulent baseball fruit tree.
The Raider Nation is the only Nation.
by oaklandSMASH on Oct 5, 2008 11:06 PM PDT up reply actions
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