No one else? OK, fine...it’s the first Uber Bowl XLII DLD (012808)
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 2:02 PM PST
Email
PrintI know, I know, at T minus seven days it’s almost too late already. You coulda stopped this...you coulda posted a DLD. So there! And what’s more, you get only one link.
But I wanted the chance to recommend this fine Chuck Klosterman article, musing on the meaning of perfection in a modern NFL framework, and making the case that the New England Patriots will be more firmly etched into the historical firmament if they lose on Sunday. As he puts it, "the memory of perfection is inevitably tied to the memory of lost perfection."
Torn on reading? It also features pictures and discourse on the Brady-Bundchen standard of perfect beauty, Aristotelian rhetoric, and grapplers.
If the Patriots win, they will just become this thing that scorched the earth for five months before capturing a trophy that was never in doubt. Future historians will describe this New England team as if it were a machine. Everyone will concede the Pats' superlative greatness, but the 19 wins will be just a collection of numbers. But if they lose -- especially if they lose late -- the New England Patriots will be the most memorable collection of individuals in the history of pro football. They will prove that nothing in this world is guaranteed, that past returns do not guarantee future results, that failure is what ultimately defines us and that Gisele will probably date a bunch of other dudes in her life, because man is eternally fallible.
Losing isn't everything. It's the only thing.
Go New York Football Giants!
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No big floppy shoes.
salb likes 'em fast and horny.
by The Dogfather on Jan 28, 2008 2:14 PM PST up reply actions
Well,
if she's good enough for Aaron Fink....
I don't think Klosterman is all that
Klosetrman = a Ray Ratto who knows how to work his iPod
in his defense, he can type better than I can
No, he can't...
People are paid to fix the gibberish that rolls off his keys...
Your mistakes, on the other hand, merely serve to entertain us poor schleps.
by The Pilots Dared Me To Die on Jan 30, 2008 12:49 AM PST up reply actions
Damn your faint praise!
I think Klosterman is almost always good and is occasionally great. Ratto is often bad with an occasional interesting turn of phrase. By sports columnist standards RR gets a B- on readability but a D in analysis. By those standards Klosterman gets straight A's; by the more challenging yardstick of cultural critic, he still gets solid B+s, and sometimes better. IMHO of course.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 2:56 PM PST up reply actions
even amongst the AN literati
my man Ratto is universally panned. Why do I like him so much? I think maybe because I have ADD; a lot of the folks who I see recommended as great columnists (Posnanski and Simmons come to mind) are, I find, too damn long. I don't have time to read long essays; I prefer a quick fix. Considering the format he works in, I genuinely appreciate what Ratto brings to the table time after time. (I think I read this column three times.)
by rubin sierra on Jan 28, 2008 4:35 PM PST up reply actions
Ratto's grown on me
to the point where I can appreciate his occasionally clever wordsmithery while still mostly not valuing his opinions. But I like the long form; gimme a 1040 straight agate, hold the Cliffs Notes.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 5:19 PM PST up reply actions
See I tend to
Agree with him on most things. I think he has a cynical but good-hearted perspective on sports. Until just now I'd never read Klosterman; I googled him and read a good piece of his from the ESPN archives on the perpetually-troubled NBA.
1040 ... isn't that a tax form?
by rubin sierra on Jan 28, 2008 5:39 PM PST up reply actions
Maybe you'll like this
http://www.nypress.com/16/35/news&co...
"You look funny
and your observations on duality and your post-ironic stylings disturb my need for predictability. Plus, your commitment to heterosexuality is undercut by your dislike of misogyny and your appearance...did I mention you look funny? And not funny ha-ha."
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 3:57 PM PST up reply actions
overdone and ... Klostermanesque ...
... but I can't disagree it.
"with"
Oy. Cthulhu has cursed my keyboard.
Get your $2 Wednesday tickets while they last!
They still exist! Praise Cthulhu! All Wednesday home games except Yankees and Red Sox feature an indeterminate (small) number of $2 tickets. That's 7 night games and 4 day games. Get 'em fast! Box office lines are...well, non-existent. My proxy had to literally wake up the ticket staff person to conduct the transaction. But they won't last forever. Many are faces of dismay that I've seen on folks getting the news that, no, there aren't any $2 tix left, but we'll gladly sell you this fine $35 seat! Don't let it be you.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 4:03 PM PST reply actions
The Wednesday day games
are especially tough to get the $2 tickets for, because they have all the kids groups come to the weekday afternoon games. They used to be able to put a lot of the kids in the third deck; now they go into the ends of the second deck and the outfield, so there go all the $2 tickets.
For Wednesday night games, you don't have the kids, so $2 seats should be a little easier to come by.
with the all-you-can-eat section ...
... they'll be able to fit fewer and fewer kids up there as the season progresses.
There will be fewer & fewer kids.
As the season progresses and hot dogs become scarce, the all-you-can-eat section will be adding kids to the menu.
the all-you-cannibal-eat section!
That's the reason we got rid of Haren. He was insisting on an all-you-cannabis-eat section.
Once Harden finally dies, they can mix him into the Coliseum dogs, and it'll be an all-you-Canada-eat section.
how do you measure the offensiveness of a DLD?
count up the cannibal runs
All you cannabis eat? hmm...
That's what I miss the most about the third deck, is getting baked with random strangers...
by The Pilots Dared Me To Die on Jan 30, 2008 12:52 AM PST up reply actions
Shocking, unbelievable news
Peter Angelos may overrule his GM and block the proposed Bedard trade.
Fill in your own "Andy MacPhail hoisted by his own Bedard" joke here.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 4:18 PM PST reply actions
They should have "Veto Night" at Camden Yards
When you go up to the concession stand to order a hot dog, the person behind you overrules just as they're handing it to you, and you get chicken strips instead.
if the Nats did Veto Night ...
... your section would select one person to go up in line to order food. When she or he got to the concession stand, all of the selected purchasers from the less-populated sections of the stands would conspire to block all of your purchase selections. Then your duly selected purchase representative would come up with elaborate explanations for how, despite your clearly indicated preferences, you actually wanted circus peanuts and Fresca instead.
mikeA probably *likes* circus peanuts
That's a band name...
The Circus Peanuts!
by The Pilots Dared Me To Die on Jan 30, 2008 12:53 AM PST up reply actions
or a comics-page mashup
The Family Circus Peanuts
(Actually, the response to my post was supposed to be "mikeA likes circus what? Well, that explains the clown thing.")
I don't need an explanation.
I choose to just accept mikeA in all his clown-fetishy contrariness.
I choose to make a running gag out of it
Well, of course.
Accepting someone without also making fun of them is just hollow... ;)
I do not envy Andy MacPhail
Talk about the worst most frustrating job in the world.
Why doesn't Angelos just save the money and act as Owner and GM?
by methodrampage on Jan 28, 2008 4:39 PM PST up reply actions
Please Clarify that you mean "Go New York Giants
i became apoplectic when I first read that.
I'm still fanning myself at the possibility of the world ending immediately.
by Imaseasonticketholder on Jan 28, 2008 4:53 PM PST reply actions
Corrected.
Thanks. Though I'm not the SF Gints h8tr many others are.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 5:15 PM PST up reply actions
"calculator-scrotumed douchebag"
Talk about multi-tasking!
With TI-83s for dicks, no less
Maybe that explains the two divorces.
Wonder what inspired this fellow to create a brand new blog just to give that post a platform?
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 28, 2008 5:13 PM PST up reply actions
that would explain the confiscated periods
That may be a new record
for the most sexual and excretory references in a four-paragraph blog entry.
I don't think I've ever seen
There's just something uniquely infuriating about watching (or perhaps I should say "having to watch") Feliz hit.
Probably is has to do with the career .288 OBP
uniquely infuriating? I dunno
It's an awful lot like watching Crosby bat -- but without the whole ROTY/good-face/Gammons-MVP-prediction/lost-promise baggage.
So, I guess, it's more like watching Byrnes bat.
Wouldn't you be excited
if Crosby's signing somewhere else netted us a comp. pick?
by methodrampage on Jan 29, 2008 11:38 AM PST up reply actions
Well, sure
but Crosby isn't league-average or even close to it.
I've kind of gone off of comp picks, to be honest. They're just not that great.
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