DLD 011608: Jerks, Crooks, and Oddballs
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 16, 2008 10:26 AM PST
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PrintI’m a little short on feel-good links today. So let’s try some feel-bad ones!
Here, Esquire chronicles over 20 years of Roger Clemens, in his own words. Some gems:
- 1986: Hank Aaron opines that pitchers should not be eligible for the MVP, since they don't play every day. Clemens thoughtfully responds, "I wish he were still playing. I'd probably crack his head open to show him how valuable I was."
- 1990: "If someone met me on a game day, he wouldn't like me. The days in between, I'm the goodest guy you can find," states Clemens. He proves the first part true when he takes the mound in Game 4 of the American League Championship Series against Oakland and lasts two innings before being ejected for threatening umpire Terry Cooney ("I'm gonna find out where you live and come get you this winter"). This is actually quite mild compared to what he said to Oakland pitcher and recovering alcoholic Bob Welch: "Have another beer. Be a man. Stop drinking milk." Ah, Roger at his goodest.
- 2006: Clemens brings some good old-fashioned American charm to the inaugural World Baseball Classic, observing, "None of the dry cleaners were open, they were all at the game, Japan and Korea. So we couldn't get any dry cleaning done out there, but I guess the neatest thing is that 50,000 of them were at Anaheim Stadium."
Former Chron scribe Tim Keown opines that Congress should just get the hell out of the way on steroids issues, because they suck at it.
This Washington Wizards fan blog scoop reprints ersatz letters from Richard Nixon to the Washington Bullets following their loss in the 1971 NBA finals. Nixon sympathizes: "And hey, you’re not the only one hurting. I had money on that goddamned series! Lost 20 bucks to that sonofabitch Mark Felt. He’s already bustin’ my balls to pay up. The guff of this guy. Eager bastard. xxxxxxxx (content redacted). Here’s some advice for you kid, never wager with a xxxxx (content redacted). Don’t know what in hell’s name Hoover sees in that guy."
And Patriots wide receiver Donte Stallworth has an alien in his head named Nico. Well, he’s spelling it "Nicco." But we AN’ers know what’s really going on.
Immediately after Mathis made the tackle, Stallworth pounded the ground and then started punching his legs as if they were defective. Stallworth said that was punishment from his alter ego, Nicco, whom Stallworth has described as an extra terrestrial being that resides on Mars when the receiver is off the field.
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Ach du Lieber!
Rosenthal reports Cubs sign Jon Lieber, promise him starting spot.
Quoted without comment:
"Another possibility is that the Cubs are trying to build rotation depth in the event that they trade younger starters such as right-hander Sean Gallagher and/or lefty Sean Marshall, possibly in a deal for Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts."
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 16, 2008 10:38 AM PST reply actions
Ratto: starts out well, stays on topic ...
... makes sense, lines up facts to support not-unreasonable thesis, keeps tangents under control, avoids trademark unfunny/unclever ad hominems, and then, at the very end of today's column, he unleashes this howler of a mixed-metaphor closing graf:
So Selig had better hope as much as Magowan and Sabean do that Waxman was simply doing a little late-game smoke-blowing, a little posture-dance for the C-SPAN crowd. Because that's a cedar chest Selig doesn't want to open, if only because the danger of blowback is so high.
Nothing wrong with that
I leave little "surprises" in all my cedar chests.
Geeks and speed freaks
Doug Glanville writes in the NYT about the role fear plays in every player's career, and how that pushes some in the direction of PEDs. Good piece, but more descriptive than prescriptive.
Meanwhile, one congressman took time out from grandstanding about steroids to ask some tough questions about baseball's other drug problem:
Amid discussion of steroids and human growth hormone, amid an atmosphere more tame than tempestuous, it was Representative John F. Tierney, a Massachusetts Democrat, who caught everyone’s attention when he asked why the number of major leaguers claiming therapeutic-use exemptions for attention deficit disorder had mushroomed to 103 this past season from 28 in 2006.
To Mr. Tierney, the implication of the sharp increase was clear. Players were brazenly getting around the ban on amphetamines by making attention deficit disorder claims that allowed them to use stimulants like Ritalin and Adderall. Based on the 2007 numbers, Mr. Tierney said, the use of such stimulants among major leaguers was "almost eight times the adult use in our population."
[...]
Dr. Gary I. Wadler, an internist and antidoping expert, said stimulants help a person concentrate — that is their medical link to attention deficit disorder — but also mask pain and increase energy and reaction time. He said side effects in adults could include heart attacks and severe anxiety.
[...]
Rob Manfred, baseball’s executive vice president for labor relations and the official most directly involved with the drug-testing programs, said Tuesday night that the commissioner’s office was not overly concerned about the increase in attention deficit disorder exemptions.
Of course.
And thanks for the poll, FSU. Now I can say I've voted for Nixon.
What? "Now" you can say?
You mean you never tried sending Trot to the All-Star Game?
"sending Trot to the All-Star Game"
euphemism alert!
the NYT editing gets shoddier and shoddier
Stimulants "also mask pain and increase energy and reaction time"?
Why in Ba'al's name would a professional athlete wish to take something that increased reaction time?
That's how to hit a Zito fastball.
I think I could vouch for Byrnesie's diagnosis
More Jim Callis
Cyrus (San Francisco, CA): Now that the A's have gutted their Big team and reloaded the farm system, and are still doing so, how do these kids look? How many of them will have an impact in 2008?
Jim Callis: (2:15 PM ET ) You may see Carlos Gonzalez and Gio Gonzalez in 2008, though they could use some time in Triple-A. Most of the guys they dealt for are a year or two away. Unless at least three out of the two Gonzalezes, Brett Anderson and Fautino de los Santos become good big league players, these trades won't help the A's in the long run. Haren and Swisher were good, young and affordable -- the type of guys you'd usually try to build around.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike (Charleston, SC): Jim, I've got a Braves question for you. What do you think about the Kotsay/Devine swap? Did the Braves cash out at the right time on Devine, or did they give up a potential closer for one year of a declining CF'er?Jim Callis: (2:16 PM ET ) I'm not a huge Devine fan. That deal makes sense for both clubs. Kotsay still has to prove his health, but I like him more than Josh Anderson. Neither Devine nor Jamie Richmond is a top prospect, but they'll help the A's in the future more than Kotsay would have.
My god
Forget the fact that the A's only need two of them to become "good big league players" to replace the two good big league players that departed. Forget the fact that if they even equal, forget exceed, Haren and Swisher's production, they'll end up giving the A's more good years for less money. Forget the fact that in a rebuilding year, you're willing to trade away present performance for future performance-- because the present performance won't help you win a title. Forget all of that, which should be blindingly obvious to anyone with a third-grade understanding of baseball who is not wearing the Extreme Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses of Billy Beane-hatred that Callis seems to don every morning.
The A's traded for nine players! Nine, not four. If Aaron Cunningham hits .310 with 16 home runs and a .500 slugging percentage in the majors three years from now (as he did in the minors this year), I'd venture a guess that it might help the A's win some ball games. Then there's the player that his own f***ing magazine rated the Sox's #1 prospect last season. What if Dana Eveland becomes good? Suppose Eveland, Cunningham, and the two Gonzalezes are all quality starters for the 2010 A's, but DLS and Anderson flame out. By his logic, the trades "won't have helped the A's in the long run."
Callis: you are a scout. Not a GM. You might be a good scout, for all I know. But I, and probably everyone else on this thread, could out-GM you while trussed and tied in a burlap sack. Couple this with the fact that Beane could out-GM US while tied in a sack, and you've got at least two orders of sacknitude separating you from actually being qualified to talk about this stuff.
Callis is overrated.
by kaweahkaweah on Jan 16, 2008 11:56 AM PST up reply actions
And he is so inconsistent, here are a couple of
more from this chat.
Alex (St. Louis): Aaron Poreda or Brett Anderson?
Jim Callis: (2:48 PM ET ) Brett Anderson, easily.
Bo (Honlulu, HI): Future closer: Santiago Casilla or Joey Devine?
Jim Callis: (2:49 PM ET ) Neither.
by theblackpearl on Jan 16, 2008 11:56 AM PST up reply actions
At least on that stuff
he has some foundation to give an expert opinion. Evaluating players is one thing. Evaluating trades is an entirely different kettle of fish.
Agreed.
Callis isn't the best place to go for trade analysis. BBTF, Prospectus, AN, Keith Law, etc. do a much better job. Callis is there to tell us how an individual prospect looks.
My favorite part of the chat:
Mike, Michigan: Jim, What kind of player does the Mariners Adam Jones skills translate to? He reminds me of Eric Davis in his prime.
Jim Callis: Eric Davis in his prime was one of the very best players ever. I'd say Mike Cameron.
Can we please, please, at some point, compare a black guy to a white guy? I'll start: Jay Bruce has Darryl Strawberry-type power.
Or, prefferably, stop doing the whole, "player-to-player" comparison all together?
Oh man, Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses.
I haven't thought of those in so long.
Way, way back in time, I was into those text-based adventure games like Zork and such. Infocom brought out a HHGttG game, and the 5" floppies came in a box with a pair of those glasses (made of black construction paper) and some other cool stuff, including a pin-on button that said (in large, friendly letters) "Don't Panic!". Wish I still had that button.
Don't forget the microscopic space fleet
and demolition orders for your house (in English) and the Earth (in Vogon).
Arthur Dent...do not be alarmed.
Be very, very afraid.
That sort of helps Clemens's case in that
he can claim that his dark rage isn't steroid-induced.
Clemens in Awesome
But maybe that's because I'm a jerk.
I thought his comment to Welch was actually quite amussing because it's quite similar to one of my favorite Arnold quotes from Pumping Iron. A reporter asks Arnold, who was on his way to like his 8th Mr. Olympia title, how much milk he drinks and Arnold responds, "Milk is for babies, adults drink beer."
by methodrampage on Jan 16, 2008 12:05 PM PST up reply actions
Can we add you to the poll?
Just kidding!
I'd be honored
by methodrampage on Jan 16, 2008 12:21 PM PST up reply actions
Was that part before or after
the parts where Arnold fires up a joint and recalls his fun times on the orgy circuit?
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 16, 2008 12:17 PM PST up reply actions
Isn't the Governer awesome?
Clemens and Arnold might sit atop my Top 5 Totally Awesome Dudes list.
by methodrampage on Jan 16, 2008 12:20 PM PST up reply actions
Buster Olney on Santana trade, says Minny won't
get a Haren haul.
If you've ever watched the show "Deal Or No Deal," you kind of get an idea of the situation Minnesota general manager Bill Smith is in, as he decides when to swap Johan Santana.
The million-dollar deal is off the table. It's not happening. Quite simply, Smith is not going to get a deal as good as the deal that Oakland got for Dan Haren. Because Santana is eligible for free agency after the 2008 season, neither the Red Sox nor the Yankees is willing to give up the boatload of young players that Smith really wanted for the two-time Cy Young Award winner, while paying Santana a $125-$150 million extension.
http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/blog...
This is actually free for now.
Like we deserved Barry Zito?
Oh, wait, nevermind.
by methodrampage on Jan 17, 2008 11:23 AM PST up reply actions
So Nixon is losing to Clemens
I guess there aren't any Simpsons writers here.
I'm not creating a DLD just for this
Kaiser is launching a formal study of Morgellons Disease, otherwise known as Billy Koch Syndrome.
Then I won't create one just for this
(especially since it's not even baseball-related)...
Dennis Richmond really seems to mean it this time. Boooooo... he's the only news anchor I like, on any channel/network.
So... by "Boooooo," I mean Thank you, Mr. Richmond. You've earned a lovely, peaceful retirement and I wish you all the best.
Boooooooo!!!
That is, both boo to the loss of Dennis (about whom I feel the same as you), and boo to both of you for not creating a new DLD. Though the anemic comment numbers from yesterday in this one could use a boost.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 17, 2008 11:56 AM PST up reply actions
I suffer from Morganna Disease
... or, the feeling that my skin is being kissed all over by a busty woman while I stand on a pitcher's mound.
"brain fog"
You mean you were diagnosed with something called a brain cloud and didn't ask for a second opinion?
A topic that's talked about more than steroids...
Four photographers were arrested for reckless driving after a late night car chase of pop star Britney Spears on the outskirts of Los Angeles, police said on Thursday.
....
"Britney Spears was part of the group, but was not driving recklessly," Faden said. She said four men were booked for reckless driving and each ordered to put up $5,000 bail.
She was NOT driving recklessly? You go girl!
by GreenNGoldGirl on Jan 17, 2008 12:15 PM PST reply actions
Rough week for Matt Keough
Friday the former A's pitcher and scout was sentenced to six months in jail for violating his probation from a DUI conviction.
And today some internet writer used some highly questionable methodology to rank his 1982 season with Oakland - in which he somehow pitched 209 innings with an ERA of 5.72, and allowed a cumulative batting line of .284/.363/.485 - as the single worst season by a pitcher in the last 50 years.
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