Ellis, Piazza and Stewart were the offense yesterday against the Marineros. Ellis sux0rz at defense, though.

The only blemish on an otherwise sparkling night for Ellis was a second-inning error on a chopper up the middle by Seattle's Adam Jones. The miscue snapped Ellis' 102-game errorless streak, a team record.

Oh, and Rich Harden apparently exists, and the A's hope he'll start a couple games this season.

Doctors say Bills TE Everett will walk out of the hospital.

Another Bill--Belichick--feels real bad about spying on the Jets.

In other football news, a homeless drunk Scot punched Manchester United Manager Alex Ferguson in the crotch.

Reynolds then allegedly chanted "Fergie, Fergie, shut your mouth" - a soccer chant common in Scotland.

Speaking of crotches, here's the aftermath of the High School Musical nudie scandal:

Should anybody care about Vanessa Hudgens' nude picture?

Yes, but only if you're a teenage boy with an Internet connection.  I can't imagine how happy this picture made a nation of teenage male High School Musical fans.  

Speaking of people who get paid millions to open their mouths, the White Sox extended Ozzie until 2012.

Speaking of crap, Dump.