2007 Poetic Interlude #14: ShakespeareAN Sonnet #8

by monkeyball on Aug 4, 2007 9:50 AM PDT in News

In honor of the man whose "mad" dash played a crucial role in the A's victory last night, another ShakespeareAN Sonnet.

Previous ShakespeareAN Sonnets:
#6
#3

[Original can be found here.]

ShakespeareAN Sonnet #8

'Maniak to run, why run'st thou 'Maniak madly?

Fleet with feet A's not, base proceed to base:

Fly! Run'st thou where other Athletics run badly,

Or else plod along with a snail's pace.

If the true boxscore of well-scored runs,

By Moneyball scribed, do offend thine ear,

Then do but fleetly glide thee, who third rounds

On single hits (the starts that thou shouldst earn!).

Mark how one single, or double or another,

Strikes base by base in diamond groups of four;

Then driving in four and five after Vladdy's blunder,

Who, all in one, one pleasing win do score:

Whose luckless season being endless, seeming done,

Sings this to thee: 'The single wilt score one.'

Tweet Comment 4 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Excellent

And so true. I mean, would it actually kill one of these guys to at least attempt to take an extra base now and then?

WOOHOO - YES! Yay, homerun

by doctorK on Aug 4, 2007 10:40 AM PDT reply actions

Terrific, Monkeyball . . . but

me wonderst if thy hast too much time on thy hands?!?

"Even I don't believe half the things I say . . ." Barry Bonds to New York press corps, 2004

by millbraeforAsfan on Aug 4, 2007 10:46 AM PDT reply actions

Monkey needs an editor

I don't know if you care, but your Shakespeare filk is more likely to appeal to wretched pedants like me if you would learn to use archaic forms properly.

"Wilt" is second person singular -- "wilt thou?" but "will he?" -- so it makes no sense in your final line. To a reader actually familiar with haths, dosts, and the like, the incorrect usage jars the ear.

So does "thine range" in #3. "Thine" is like "an", it's used only if the following word starts with a vowel sound. "Thine hair" in #6 I don't really like either, but it's forgivable in light of the allusion to "thine heir" in the original. But it begs the question: if it's "thine hair", why not "thine hairstyle"?

"Ten times thy self were better than ten Hattebergs" -- Monkeyball, channeling Shakespeare

by iglew on Aug 4, 2007 11:19 AM PDT reply actions