Limerick Friday

by sslinger on Aug 31, 2007 2:51 PM PDT

In a departure from Haiki Friday, here is a new game: Limerick Friday. To start:

Behold the new era of Suzuki
His throwing arm like a bazooki
We may have lost grit
But at least he can hit
Kendall’s Cub surge is undoubtedly flukey

And more (I know they suck - these are harder than haikus!)

Jack Hannahan is now at third
Which would have been thought absurd
Before Chavvy went down
Though his fielding’s renown
He was hitting just like a big turd

Bob Geren will manage my team
Said Athletics GM Billy Bean
He no longer needs Macha
But maybe for socca’
He can nab good old Roy Keane

Add away - and feel free to include haikus as well.

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limerick

The A's snapped up the player Jack Cust
Who was commonly perceived as a bust
But old Jack hit the ball
Repeatedly o'er the wall
Though his defense is still hard to trust

"We get two outs, and I was sure, and I had a plan, and I shook Tek off," Schilling said. "And I get a big 'What if?' for the rest of my life."

by Imaseasonticketholder on Aug 31, 2007 2:48 PM PDT reply actions

limerick part deux

Old Billy Beane who's considered a brainiac
Decided to sign dude Furmainiak
When Murhpy & Crosby went down
He was called to Oaktown
Let's hope he won't give A's fans a cardiac

"We get two outs, and I was sure, and I had a plan, and I shook Tek off," Schilling said. "And I get a big 'What if?' for the rest of my life."

by Imaseasonticketholder on Aug 31, 2007 3:01 PM PDT reply actions

Nice job with that Furmaniak rhyme!

"Female ass are strange creatures. They come and go as they please." -- Sigourney Weaver

by oblique on Aug 31, 2007 10:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Chavez, Kotsay and Buck

Finally ran out of luck
They'll go under the knife
Get on with their life
And hopefully next year won't suck

by sslinger on Aug 31, 2007 3:19 PM PDT reply actions

AMEN!

"I'm already in Barry's head! He doesn't want to play against ME!" - Kotsay on facing Zito, Fan Fest 2007

by BobbyCrosbysGirl on Aug 31, 2007 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions

In the light of recent events ...

Declared the A's very own Kaiser
"I am indeed the surpriser.
Making roster moves curious,
For reasons most spurious,
Will leave the fans none the Loaizer."

by green star oakland on Aug 31, 2007 3:19 PM PDT reply actions

Very nice

by sslinger on Aug 31, 2007 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions

The pitcher, EsTAYban Loaiza,

Was considered, by many, a prize-a
A’s let him, for free, go
But, according to Ni, co
We’ll get kids, and no one will be wize-a.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Aug 31, 2007 3:23 PM PDT reply actions

World record for commas in a limerick

;)

"Former Huntsville Star Eric Chavez..."

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Aug 31, 2007 6:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Our A’s just go out and keep tryin’

Through hurts that would have others cryin’
They’ve tried yoga, and ointments
Thumb guards and appointments
But have they tried giving fuck lions?

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Aug 31, 2007 3:30 PM PDT reply actions

Girl A’s fans attend to the package,

Like men who are drawn to their rackage.
When asked who’s elite,
They all scream Huston Street!
Pants so tight there’s no room for his sackage.

When Huston comes in the girls holler,
And he recently looked worth the dollar.
Then he pitched like a gomer--
Gave up many a homer,
His pants weren’t as tight as his collar.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Aug 31, 2007 3:49 PM PDT reply actions

There once was a man who played short

Whose swing was too long to abort
Feed him a slider?
Presto! He's a diver
I hope he has found a new sport.

So it goes.

by jeepers on Aug 31, 2007 3:58 PM PDT reply actions

A wonderful find was Jack Cust,

A slugger some thought was a bust.
But in the outfield,
A flaw's been revealed.
His glove’s got big holes and some rust.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Aug 31, 2007 4:16 PM PDT reply actions

An ode to our U-Man -- a dandy,

His glove, and clutch bat have been handy.
The original "Scooter"
May have been Phil Rizzuter--
But he was not called "Italian Man Candy."

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Aug 31, 2007 6:09 PM PDT reply actions

The legend of John Joseph Hannahan

doth start with an eight-grader and a can.
Prostrate in the grass
in gear, he got his ass;
Right his errors and be redeemed can a man.

He's not going to try to kill you, I'm just going to try to doink you. -Rex Hudler

by JediLeroy on Aug 31, 2007 8:22 PM PDT reply actions

WTF's Going on With Seattle?

I thought that this year they would battle.
Was it Anaheim bats?
Or maybe their rats ?
Either way all their brag was just prattle

I still think of my dear darling Miggy
Whose trade Schott declared was no biggie
When I think of his smile
And his range of a mile
Oh Tejada with you, Id still jiggy

"We get two outs, and I was sure, and I had a plan, and I shook Tek off," Schilling said. "And I get a big 'What if?' for the rest of my life."

by Imaseasonticketholder on Sep 1, 2007 12:01 AM PDT reply actions

I'm still convinced that Pudge was a 'roiding

But the media he was good at avoiding
In 2002 he was huge
Now he's a much slender stooge
Has he acne & skin that's keloiding?

"We get two outs, and I was sure, and I had a plan, and I shook Tek off," Schilling said. "And I get a big 'What if?' for the rest of my life."

by Imaseasonticketholder on Sep 1, 2007 12:28 AM PDT reply actions

Almost four years old now

and not by me, but it's so good I repeat it at any opportunity:

Beane's outfield was so bad he felt he
Should make it less Lucy Van Pelty,
While JP's poor mound
Was too Charlie Browned:
And thus was born Lilly-for-Kielty.

"Ten times thy self were better than ten Hattebergs" -- Monkeyball, channeling Shakespeare

by iglew on Sep 1, 2007 1:38 AM PDT reply actions