Which player is most like Charlie Brown's hero Joe Shlabotnik from Peanuts?

This is meant in fun, but I gotta admit it's been a frustrating couple weeks watching these guys.

From Wikipedia:
Shlabotnik was demoted to the minor leagues after hitting .004 over an entire season; his one hit was a bloop single with his team comfortably ahead. One time he promised to hit a home run in the bottom of the ninth; he popped out instead, but circled the bases anyway. His greatest achievements included making spectacular plays on routine fly balls and throwing out a runner who had fallen down between first and second.

After being sent down to Stumptown of the Green Grass League, Shlabotnik eventually retired as a player and agreed to manage the Waffletown Syrups. Sadly, Joe was fired after only one game, after calling for a squeeze play—with no one on base.