DLD 6/14/07: Sasquatch, Loch Ness, Kendall HR.

And here's Kendall in another beautiful moment:

Problems remain, however.  Kendall's power surge may have been won at the expense of Nick Swisher's slump: see Swisher accidentally passing his mojo to Jason:

and all of em are yours

that the Loch Ness Monster returned at the beginning of June?

is a hot commodity in the betting world.

From Urban's wrap up:

...Kendall, who'd rather chew smoldering glass than talk about himself...

This man looks good in a suit.  And he'll get to wear one at home games this fall.  Good for you, Reebok & NFL.

(And yeah, I know SBNation has a 49ers site, too.  I even have a 2-digit user id there.  It was just launched too close to the end of a season that was a pretty hectic time for me, so I didn't get into it.  Bad football fan.)

I really wanted a "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" shirt.  :(

Geren said rookie catcher Kurt Suzuki, who made his Major League debut Tuesday night, will get his first big-league start Saturday against the visiting Cardinals.

YAAAAAY!

If these were on sale at the AN store I’d buy a dozen:

(Bigger, better picture is here.)

As publicized by boingboing, a blogger with a deep love of chaos has brought the Gun of Baseball to the world’s attention.   And how shallow and boring everything previous now seems in comparison to the chaotic passion which is the GOB.  The author compares the gun to another bizarre toy, the Fulchau, as follows:

This has several features in common with the Fulchau, aside from the sheer randomness of it all.  The first is the whistle.  Both the Fulchau and the Gun of Baseball have whistles on one end.  Maybe this is to help you find your way if you are lost due to the changes to the time/space continuum caused by the chaos field  generated by the Fulchau or GOB.  The second feature is the light.  It is very important while building a toy of chaos to include a light.  This guides the spirits of destruction to your vicinity.  It is magnified exponentially with every child in a fifty foot radius of the artifact. The third feature is the inclusion of some kind of human element.  The Fulchau has a doll head, the Gun of Baseball has the baseball playing figure.  I imagine this is to link the forces of chaos to the corporeal world of the living.

You may say that I am insane to even postulate what I put forth.  But I counter your cynicism with a simply,why?  Seriously, can you see any other potential purpose for these items?  The GOB is not loud enough to be of any use in a baseball game.  What does baseball have to do with yellow guns anyway?  And why the whistle?

And please note at the bottom of the page that one may purchase tee shirts which proclaim "Respect the Gun of Baseball."  My wardrobe will seem sorely inadequate until my shirt arrives.

It was either Jennifer or McFood.  Maybe Thunderbutt or mkt.  One of you, 'fess up.

And it's "GONNA", not "GOING TO".   :P~~~

But I swear yesterday I heard the dumbest thing I've ever heard at a ballpark. I went to the Giants/Blue Jays game with a friend. As we were watching Royce Clayton bat, the ditzy girl sitting by us turned to a random dude in the row behind her, and said, "There are black people in Canada?"

I was absolutely speechless. And naturally, she was on her cell phone for most of the game.

What is the dumbest thing you've heard at a ballpark?

http://catfishstew.baseballtoaster.c...

"Jason Kendall could have hit eight more home runs if he played his home games in Houston instead of Oakland."

They'll go to Stanford on your sorry ass.

lboros got called in for jury duty:

i swear (i am under a juror's oath, after all) the blog played at least an indirect role in dragging me into this mess --- er, i mean qualifying me for this civic duty. during voir dire, i stated that i make my living as a writer; the prosecuting attorney asked me what type of writing i do, and i gave him a quick description of my client base and said, "that's most of it" or something like that. "most of it," he says; "what's the rest of it?" "i also write a blog."

     Q: a blog? [raised eyebrow] about what?
     A: the st louis cardinals baseball team.
     Q: oh. [pause] how do you feel about mark mcgwire being kept out of the hall of fame?
     A: well, i'm not all that interested in the hall. but i do think he cheated with steroids.

i'm not making this up, now; this exchange really took place. (and i'd like to know how the court reporter rendered "mark mcgwire" on that freaky keypad of his.) i think my answer left the prosecutor saying to himself, hell yeah, i'll take this guy on my jury; he's ready to convict the hometown sports hero on nothing more than circumstantial evidence. then the defense attorney gets up there and says:

you gotta read the rest.

Let's tell him there are only 20 people listening.

4 year extension through 2012

Nico (duh); monkeyball; FSU.  

What are these 5 tools?  1) Must have a deep knowledge of the game; 2) must chill the fuck out when something bad happens during game thread (this tends to come from having a deep knowledge of the game); 3) Funny; 4) Generally GETS it, meaning a 5-tooler understands how the online community works; and 5) great sig.

 Whaddya all think about this rating system?

I rate myself a 2.  How do you rate yourself?  

I know it's not perfect, but whaddya think?

I saw this link on deadspin.  It's a pretty funny article, and you gotta love anybody who takes a shot at Chone Figgins.