Athletics Nation: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Sports blogs for fans, by fans.
New Blog: World Soccer Digest for Soccer Fans!

Overheard Chez Beane

[ring]
Hello, the worlds smartest and handsomest GM speaking...
The worlds toughest, most kick-ass catcher?...
Oh, Jason, hey, good to hear from you, how'd you get this number?...

Star-divide

Your contract extension? [snorts] Oh, sorry, my allergies have really been bothering me. Um, yeah, I've been meaning to get back to you about that, I've just been so busy with the trades.  But anyway, yeah, I talked to Lew, and of course he's busy too right now with this whole Fremont thing going on, but it looks like things are a bit tight right now.
Yeah, we'd love to keep you, but you know, we're still a small-market team, and I'm sure one of the bigger teams would be willing to go a lot higher, and I really don't want to insult you with a lowball offer...
No, no, it has nothing to do with that. Honestly, I hadn't even noticed your slugging percentage. What did you say it was?...
.179? [coughs violently] Sorry, swallowed something wrong. I don't pay much attention to that stuff, Jason. You know me, I'm more interested in the leadership and intangibles guys like you bring to a team, the stuff that doesn't show up in the box score...
Oh yeah, that too, your game calling is definitely worth more than anything you could do with the bat. Like Foss says, anything you give us offensively is just gravy. [guffaws] Oh, sorry about that, I have "Two and a Half Men" on in the background, and that Charlie Sheen really cracks me up. Anyway, like I was saying, we definitely value what you bring to the table.
Hey that reminds me, you know who else really likes you, is Bill Stoneman. I was having some beers with Stoney and Kenny Williams at the winter meetings, and...
Oh yeah, we're actually really good friends, the three of us, you know we're the three GMs who played in the majors, and we like to hang out and tell old war stories. Stoney threw a no-no back in '69 you know, John Bateman was behind the plate for that one, he was a lot like you, hell of a game-caller. Anyway, yeah, Stoney was telling me how much he admired you, and I was saying that I'd hate to lose you, but I thought it might be a good fit, you know, you'd be back in SoCal close to your dad, it might really revitalize your game...
Oh, ha ha, right, I forgot about that Lackey thing. But, you know, he's a competitor just like you are, just wants to win. I mean, the same thing happened with you and Kennedy, right, and you guys get along fine now, he gives you all the credit in the world for how well he's throwing this year. Anyway, remind me to give you Bill's number next time I see you. ...
Right, the extension, like I was saying, I'm not sure we have enough in the budget to keep paying you what you're worth, and...
Oh, you would? That's great, but things still might be a little tight. Look, let me talk to Lew again, and see what I can do. I'll get back to you on soon as I can. It still might be a little while though, you know, we have some other stuff in the pipeline...
Oh, hey, I gotta go, Witasick's calling me on my other line. But I'll get back to you soon, promise....
Alright, you too. Stay tough, Jason.
[click]

0 recs  |  Comment 9 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

Display:

What else Jason brings to the table

A kick-ass potluck guacamole?

"Don't your coworkers find a baby on your head to be kind of weird?" ~ salb918

by Poppy on May 7, 2007 12:53 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Me: "What do I do with this tasty tortilla chip?"

Jason: "Stick that f'ing thing out there...and then dip it into my kick-ass potluck guacamole."

the difference between Chavy and deer in the headlights? (after Nico)

by LAXile on May 7, 2007 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

then, of course ...

... Kendall would dive face-first into the guac to prevent you from double-dipping, risking terrible injury from the razor-sharp tortilla shard.

You don't promise a fat girl doughnuts and don't deliver. ~ Jennifer @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 7, 2007 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

regrettably though,

if Kendall was invited to the table, he would innefectively wave his carrot in the direction of the yoghurt dip, managing only to slop some of it over into the waiting spill plate, wasting both the carrot and the yoghurt in a single play.  

by mikedaviswhereareyou on May 7, 2007 5:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Guacakendall

His agent is already working on Kendall Tag Lines for the off-season...

"Yeah, but he call's a great game!"

"Grit is the new batting average"

"Slugging percentage is sooooo overrated these days"

any other ideas?

On the seventh day, God rested...and shat out the Yankees

by since72 on May 7, 2007 8:00 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

HA!

QOTM

Now we have 6 or 7 months to enjoy, to cheer, cry, and scream both in frustration and happiness. ~china bob

by baseballgirl on May 8, 2007 8:15 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

In your heart, you know he's out

(He even has the 5-o'-clock shadow to match Nixon's.)

You don't promise a fat girl doughnuts and don't deliver. ~ Jennifer @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 8, 2007 9:32 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

grit is the latest undervalued commodity

<waits for other teams to jump on this bandwagon>

by OaklandSi on May 8, 2007 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Welcome to the SB Nation blog about Oakland Athletics.

Community Guidelines ANcillary Terms
Start posting about the Athletics »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recommended FanPosts

Depaulbluedemons_small
Community Prospect List #18
413niegoftl__sl500_aa280__small
A's Protect Carter, FDLS, Figueroa and Souza from Rule V
Countdown_small
Some things I am "coming around" on...
Imgp0089_editedagasin_small
DLD 11/17/09 - Nintendo 64 and a Nerd's top 10 Epic Movie Fights
Me_at_att_park_small
Greener Grass, Episode 6: It's All About Culture

Recent FanPosts

Me_at_att_park_small
Old McPherson is an A, e yi e yi yoooooooo
Bill_king_small
On Trading Catchers....
Depaulbluedemons_small
Community Prospect List #17
Small
A's ink 10 year deal with KTRB 860 am
Bill_king_small
Huston Street and the Blown Save

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

SPONSORS


Managers

Tyler_at_maya_school_small Tyler Bleszinski

08-_the_author_small 67MARQUEZ

Baseball_small baseballgirl

Poochini-butt_in_box_2_small Nico

As_kings_cal_small louismg

Editors

Countdown_small Taj Adib

Ziegler160px_small Flashfire

527918550406_0_bg_small notsellingjeans