Overheard Chez Beane

[ring]
Hello, the worlds smartest and handsomest GM speaking...
The worlds toughest, most kick-ass catcher?...
Oh, Jason, hey, good to hear from you, how'd you get this number?...

Your contract extension? [snorts] Oh, sorry, my allergies have really been bothering me. Um, yeah, I've been meaning to get back to you about that, I've just been so busy with the trades.  But anyway, yeah, I talked to Lew, and of course he's busy too right now with this whole Fremont thing going on, but it looks like things are a bit tight right now.
Yeah, we'd love to keep you, but you know, we're still a small-market team, and I'm sure one of the bigger teams would be willing to go a lot higher, and I really don't want to insult you with a lowball offer...
No, no, it has nothing to do with that. Honestly, I hadn't even noticed your slugging percentage. What did you say it was?...
.179? [coughs violently] Sorry, swallowed something wrong. I don't pay much attention to that stuff, Jason. You know me, I'm more interested in the leadership and intangibles guys like you bring to a team, the stuff that doesn't show up in the box score...
Oh yeah, that too, your game calling is definitely worth more than anything you could do with the bat. Like Foss says, anything you give us offensively is just gravy. [guffaws] Oh, sorry about that, I have "Two and a Half Men" on in the background, and that Charlie Sheen really cracks me up. Anyway, like I was saying, we definitely value what you bring to the table.
Hey that reminds me, you know who else really likes you, is Bill Stoneman. I was having some beers with Stoney and Kenny Williams at the winter meetings, and...
Oh yeah, we're actually really good friends, the three of us, you know we're the three GMs who played in the majors, and we like to hang out and tell old war stories. Stoney threw a no-no back in '69 you know, John Bateman was behind the plate for that one, he was a lot like you, hell of a game-caller. Anyway, yeah, Stoney was telling me how much he admired you, and I was saying that I'd hate to lose you, but I thought it might be a good fit, you know, you'd be back in SoCal close to your dad, it might really revitalize your game...
Oh, ha ha, right, I forgot about that Lackey thing. But, you know, he's a competitor just like you are, just wants to win. I mean, the same thing happened with you and Kennedy, right, and you guys get along fine now, he gives you all the credit in the world for how well he's throwing this year. Anyway, remind me to give you Bill's number next time I see you. ...
Right, the extension, like I was saying, I'm not sure we have enough in the budget to keep paying you what you're worth, and...
Oh, you would? That's great, but things still might be a little tight. Look, let me talk to Lew again, and see what I can do. I'll get back to you on soon as I can. It still might be a little while though, you know, we have some other stuff in the pipeline...
Oh, hey, I gotta go, Witasick's calling me on my other line. But I'll get back to you soon, promise....
Alright, you too. Stay tough, Jason.
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