A's Rookie Card Day
by Nate on May 15, 2007 7:32 AM PDT
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PrintKotsay: So once my back is better, then they're going to fix my left arm, my right leg, both knees and elbows, and I should be back in the lineup in no time.
Bradley: That's great, Mark...
Piazza: Okay folks, gather round. It's May 15th and that's rookie card day.
Swisher: What?
Piazza: Rookie card day. It's when you have to show everyone your rookie card.
Swisher: ...you're serious?
Piazza: Oh yeah, all the veterans know about it. Right guys?
Stewart: Definitely.
Loaiza: Si
Chavez: Yup.
Kotsay: Huh?
Bradley elbows Kotsay
Kotsay: Ow, I mean, yeah, totally. (Dude, you pushed my rehab back...)
Piazza: Ok, I'll start.
Piazza: That's me all the way back in 1992.
Swisher: We pretty much have to take your word on that.
Piazza: Hey, I was catching then. Catchers have their pictures taken with their gear on.
Kendall: Speak for yourself.
Piazza: Huh, they told me I had to wear the mask.
Kendall: To be fair I am much prettier than you.
Buck: Here's mine!
Kotsay: It's certainly...accurate.
Buck: Yeah, they took it last week.
Kotsay: I think the point of this is being missed.
Kendall: Let's see your card, Mark?
Kotsay: ...Fine.
peals of laughter
Bradley: What the hell is that supposed to be?
Kotsay: Argh. They were trying to be artsy or something.
Kendall: You're holding that bat like it's a giant penis.
Kotsay: Maybe you should take lessons Mr. .400 OPS, or is that what you've been-
Piazza: Knock it off! Jeez. Milt, show us your card.
Swisher: You looked ticked even then.
Buck: What team is that?
Bradley: The Expos. I was drafted by the Expos.
Buck: blank stare
Bradley: The Montreal Expos.
Buck: blank stare
Bradley: In Canada.
Buck: I don't...
Swisher: He doesn't believe in Canada.
Bradley: He what?
Swisher: He thinks we're hazing the rookies when we talk about Canada.
Buck: Oh come on, I take the ribbing in good humor, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna buy these stories about a country full of people who like hockey.
Bradley: Where does he think Rich came from?
Buck: Rich is a cyborg.
Bradley: ...
Buck: He breaks a lot.
Bradley: That's...
Swisher: Danny, let's see yours.
Haren: Mine is awesome.
Swisher: You look like a mafia enforcer in a uniform.
Kotsay: You look like you're eight feet tall.
Kendall: What did you have to give the cameraman to agree to take the shot like that?
Haren: ...just some tickets. And a bat signed by Mark McGwire.
Kendall: You had a bat signed by McGwire?
Haren: Well, technically it just had a signature that SAID Mark McGwire...
Loaiza: Esta mi:
Swisher: Holy crap. Were you drafted when you were 15?
Loaiza: Diez y cinco. Diez y ocho. Es como...
Kotsay: Ok save it for A's Amigos there, compadre.
Loaiza: Puto.
Kotsay: Alan, let's see yours?
Embree: That's ok.
Kotsay: C'mon, it's your turn.
Embree: I'd really rather n-
Kendall steals the card from Embree's locker
Embree: HEY!
Kendall: What the hell?
Kotsay: Um, what is...
Embree: I misunderstood.
Kotsay: Misunderstood?
Embree: They said we had a photo shoot. I was thinking GQ.
Kotsay: ...
Bradley: ...
Kendall: ...
Loaiza: Cabron
Bradley: Ok, let's see yours, Swish.
Swisher: I...musta left it in my other pants.
Bradley: Nuh-uh. Show.
Swisher: Awwww
Kendall: ...
Kotsay: ...
Loaiza: ...
Embree: ...
Haren: ...
Crosby: ...
Ellis: ...
Chavez: ...
Piazza: ...
Geren: ...
Beane: ...
Bradley: We meant your rookie card, fool.
Swisher: Ah screw you guys.
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Jebus, how old IS Embree?!
That photo looks like it was taken in 1956!
Picture taken on way to Sugar Bowl
to join pals Chip Hilton, Speed Morris, and Soapy Smith for fountain drinks poured fresh by the soda jerk.
by FreeSeatUpgrade on May 15, 2007 8:55 AM PDT up reply actions
Brilliant!
Kendall looks as if his younger self somehow knew exactly how bad this season was going to be and was practicing sulking about it.
He looks like "Hurry up and shoot...
...I have to get back to my grit workout."
Kendall looks like guy who never
got a dance in High School. Let me just find a corner, cross my arms and scowl that ought to get the girls intrested
by Hawaii FO on May 15, 2007 5:21 PM PDT up reply actions
LOL...
"He doesn't believe in Canada... He thinks we're hazing the rookies when we talk about Canada..." that's the funniest quote I've seen in a while. Nice work... I'll be laughing at that (and the actual cards) for a long time.
by CTAsGirl on May 15, 2007 8:43 AM PDT reply actions
I'm really tired of seeing pictures that
look up Danny's nose. Brilliant photographic technique: "Hey, he's 6'5", so let's make him look even taller. And see if he's got sinusitis while we're at it."
very well done, sir
Kotsay: You look like you're eight feet tall.
Haren: That's probably because I'm eight miles high.
Friggin hilarious!
Kotsay's looks like a little league card with a bobblehead stuck on. And Embree's - what can you say?
Funny. (edits)
Loaiza: soy yo
Loaiza: Quince. Dieciocho.
"Uno, Dos, Tres..Catorce!
"Who the hell let Bono in here?"
"He's singing the national anthem."
"Of Ireland?"
"Yeah."
"How's it go?"
"It's the Mickey's Big Mouth jingle."
Let's talk this over, Bono, "¡Mano a mano!"
Never understood why people say that.
Unless they're signing to each other.
Or if they're really saying "mono a mono", and they're monkeys.
Someone teach Bono how to count...
One, two, three, fourteen!
by FormerHuntsvilleStar on May 16, 2007 6:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Re: edits
Loaiza: soy yo
Actually I think I got this one right. I was having him say "Here's mine" or "This is mine", not "This is me."
I did muff the numbers, though.
re: edits
'Mi' can either mean 'my' (never 'mine') or 'me' (as in 'me lo da a mí')
Great Diary, BTW.
haha
I love the fact that you got the swear words right but complete butchered "this is mine" and a the numbers. that my friends is awsome
by Amnesiac727 on May 17, 2007 6:29 AM PDT up reply actions
Linguistics
Goes to show that the Spanish that stuck with me was not what I learned in a year of high school.
Proof that Chavez isn't Mexican enough.
Loaiza: Si
Chavez: Yup.
This is by far the funniest thing I've seen...
in a while. Excellent, Smithers.
Standing ovulation
ah, the power of the fans! Nicely done grasshopper. When you have snatched the laptop from my hands, you will be a man!
very funny $hit!
I heard...
that on the way to the photo shoot Loaiza was pulled over for erratically riding his bike, all jacked up on mountain dew
They should've seen Chavy's Double-A card...
How many minor leaguers wear shades on their baseball card?!
Very funny skit, Nate!
by FormerHuntsvilleStar on May 16, 2007 6:24 PM PDT reply actions
this so creative! thanks so much for a good LOL!
by littleA on May 17, 2007 10:18 AM PDT reply actions
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