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Haiku Friday (with bonus limerick)

Barry Lamar Bonds
Stay the hell away from us
What else needs be said?

Rumors from Slusser
My inner peace is disturbed
Get thee hence, Satan

Broken down legend
Colossal waste of money
No bay for splash hits

Star-divide

Haren and Blanton
Ain't no hope of competing
Let's tear this shit up

The Outfield defense:
Jack fell down and broke his crown
Bonds tumbling after

The cream and the clear
Straight from the orange and the black
To the green and gold

Give me the big head
One thousand-plus O P S
Savior of the A's

Chamionship hopes
Keep Haren and Big Blanton
Asshole and Colon

The story of Barry Lamar--
The guy who could hit really far
The league as a whole
Won't touch him with a pole
And THAT is the A's kind of star

Poll
Which of the following is MOST correct?
I don't understand greater than signs
1 votes
The alligator eats limericks
8 votes
Haiku > Limericks
1 votes
Haiku < Limericks
9 votes

19 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 31 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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Comments

Display:

What the Hell, I'm bored

Canseco, dirty
Big Red not in Hall of Fame
Too late for ethics

I'd like to eat my lunch, but Billy just kicked me out of my office.

by BlameChannel53 on Dec 7, 2007 1:13 PM PST reply actions  

Not too late for me
Bash Bros were before my time
Oh... but... Giambi...

"It is almost impossible to exaggerate the complete unimportance of almost everything."

by Poppy on Dec 7, 2007 1:17 PM PST up reply actions  

Miggy as well
exciting ball in Oakland
ethics be dam-ned

It starts with rule No. 1 from coach Don Nelson: Shoot the ball.

by mikeA on Dec 7, 2007 1:20 PM PST up reply actions  

Mi-g-gy as well
I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 1:32 PM PST up reply actions  

LOL
"It is almost impossible to exaggerate the complete unimportance of almost everything."

by Poppy on Dec 7, 2007 1:33 PM PST up reply actions  

How bout forgiveness?
We need different role models
Let them play baseball

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 1:21 PM PST up reply actions  

* :

Asshole and Colon

"Ten times thy self were better than ten Hattebergs" -- Monkeyball, channeling Shakespeare

by iglew on Dec 7, 2007 1:25 PM PST reply actions  

QOTM, no-text edition
I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 1:32 PM PST up reply actions  

Win it at all costs--
It's the American Way.
Souls for sale, and cheap.    

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 7, 2007 1:28 PM PST reply actions  

*

If the cost is low
Enough for Beane to swallow
Wait- can haiku rhyme?

by still bills kingdom on Dec 7, 2007 5:45 PM PST up reply actions  

3

souls black like burnt toast
dire ethical dilemma
worth minus five wins

pools on the tundra
Francona spits profusely
mouth cancer soon

leafless tree limbs sway
trade talk proliferates
winter limps ahead

by 74mk on Dec 7, 2007 1:43 PM PST reply actions  

Five losses are booked
Team chemistry up in flames
hat-load of asses

It starts with rule No. 1 from coach Don Nelson: Shoot the ball.

by mikeA on Dec 7, 2007 1:45 PM PST reply actions  

innocent I say
bulbous cranium no proof
flaxseed works wonders

by 74mk on Dec 7, 2007 2:05 PM PST reply actions  

Jack Cust's protection
What a disgusting picture
Mind out of gutter

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 2:10 PM PST reply actions  

Non-baseball haiku

Eight thanksgiving pounds
Man boobies and love handles
No more polish dogs

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 2:13 PM PST up reply actions  

one more

Athletics Nation
Virtual home of stat nerds
And the rest of us

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 2:16 PM PST up reply actions  

Limericks > Haikus

There once was a slugger named Barry
Of whom the whole league was once wary
But year after year
of The cream and the clear
Have left the old man quite contrary

"BTW, this is ridiculous..." -- devo

by oblique on Dec 7, 2007 2:18 PM PST reply actions  

My dear doctor Faust,
The devil is at your door.
There are bills to pay.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 7, 2007 2:22 PM PST reply actions  

Personal fave limericks:

The limerick's furtive and mean;
You must keep her in close quarantine,
Or she slips to the slums,
Where she quickly becomes
Disorderly, drunk, and obscene.

There was a young girl from Madras,
Who possessed a magNIFicent ass.
Not shapely and pink,
As you probably think--
It was gray, had long ears and ate grass.  

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 7, 2007 2:54 PM PST reply actions  

In my experience

the shapeliest asses are not pink.

"Ten times thy self were better than ten Hattebergs" -- Monkeyball, channeling Shakespeare

by iglew on Dec 8, 2007 1:31 AM PST up reply actions  

Okay, howsabout:

Not flesh-colorized,
As you may have surmised?

It wasn't chartreuse,
As you may have mused?

Not red, brown or rose,
As you may suppose?  

Not persimmon or puce,
As you may have deduced?

Not aquamarine,
Which I doubt you have seen?

Help me out here.  

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 8, 2007 7:39 AM PST up reply actions  

Ok...

Not ripe and unspotted
As you might've thoughted

Not lucid and lean
As would please Billy Beane

Not of such a hue
As would tempt Uncle Lew

Not such nonpareil
As excites mdl

Not rosy and winsome
As to rouse still bills kingdom

Not luscious and rich
As a Dogfather's -----

Ahem...that's quite enough out of me. I liked yours better anyway, and may I say- well played, sir. :)

by still bills kingdom on Dec 8, 2007 7:16 PM PST up reply actions  

I've never heard it called a "kingdom" b4--

--except, maybe, in Richard III.

But I'll pass along your compliment to my luscious girlfriendich.  She'll be pleased.  

AND, the rewrite concludes:

Not pink, beige or brown,
Was this ass of renown,  

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 9, 2007 9:37 AM PST up reply actions  

The correct answer is
brown
"Ten times thy self were better than ten Hattebergs" -- Monkeyball, channeling Shakespeare

by iglew on Dec 9, 2007 1:27 AM PST up reply actions  

*Poll added*
I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 2:55 PM PST reply actions  

Medical Staff

There once was a guy named Larry
Whose medical practice was kind of scary
What horror he has done
But I guess it'll be fun
To see what he does to Barry

by lerei on Dec 7, 2007 3:47 PM PST reply actions  

Larry Davis should have his own Haiku thread

The A's had a medical trainer
Who's actually the only remainer
He's really the worst
And prob'ly the first
To give the O.K. to play a "no-brainer"

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 4:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Stepping off high ground,
Onto the slippery slope.
Splash--snakes in a swamp.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 7, 2007 4:29 PM PST reply actions  

Speaking of snakes in a swamp..

Has anybody seen Rescue Dawn? Watch the featurettes on the DVD. They're amazing.

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream!

by JediLeroy on Dec 7, 2007 4:41 PM PST up reply actions  

HiSue Friday

Stepping off high ground,
Our Sue Slusser is a babe.
Urban can't compete.

The meaning of life is not so much 'found,' as it is 'made.' --Opus

by The Dogfather on Dec 7, 2007 5:12 PM PST reply actions  

Haiku could be better than limericks

if they were done right.  There's more to it than just counting syllables.

<resists urge to trot out the Lilly-for-Kielty limerick again>

"Ten times thy self were better than ten Hattebergs" -- Monkeyball, channeling Shakespeare

by iglew on Dec 8, 2007 1:33 AM PST reply actions  

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