We Whiff, As a Team, With Men On

(Original lyrics by Gang of Four here)

Everybody hits into too many DPs
No-runs-scored defines our boxscores
To break the spell we hit some homers
Some say we should move the runners

Third and second are the bases to be
With no ribbies you lose ballgames
I need a new third baseman!
You have to pay for run production

We whiff, as a team, with men on
To break the spell we hit solo homers
Some flirt with statistics
Some say we should move the runners

We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on

We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on

Everybody is takin' too many pitches
No-runs-scored astounds me!
With no money we won't sign A-Rod

Count the batters need to work
They wish they could hit like Matt Holliday
We were not born with two strikes, no balls
But sometimes it seems that way

We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on

We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on

We whiff, as a team, with men on
The space between our walks and runs produced
Some fall into sabermetrism
As if it started out this way

We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on

We whiff, as a team, with men on
(We whiff, as a team, with men on)
We whiff, as a team, with men on
(We were not born with two strikes on)
We whiff, as a team, with men on
(But sometimes it seems that way)

(The space between our walks and runs produced)

We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on
(As if it always must be this way)
We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on
We whiff, as a team, with men on
(With no money we'll all go to Fremont)