It's time we addressed the REAL stadium issue

by Loon from Left on Jan 18, 2007 4:39 PM PST Comment 24 comments

Wolff's talk about a new Fenway or Wrigley leads me to wonder: What does he plan to do with the left field fence? Will powerful electromagnetic fields attempt to duplicate Chicago's ground-rule ivy or the line-drive-killing, fly-ball-glorifying effects of the green monster? Will the wall around the stadium be a gigantic mobius strip, with the half-twist out in left, ensuring that any ball hit out there will fall into an interdimensional vortex and never return? Or does Wolff just mean that once he's built this place, he doesn't want to spring for a new one for at least 90 years?
All this is just distracting us from the real issue: by building in Fremont, Wolff is giving up on the opportunity of a lifetime, a chance to go with the one stadium plan that everyone can agree on. Monkeyball's proposed floating stadium would not only be the greatest ballpark in baseball history; when sailing in international waters, it could be a country unto itself! To this end, and to supplement the great Monkey's versification, I have composed an unofficial national anthem for this new Athletics-Nation-state-to-be:

When A's, at Monkeyball's command,
Played ball upon the azure main,
From all the corners of Oak-land,
Athletics Nation sang this strain:

Go Athletics!
Athletics rule the waves!
Huston never, never, never shall blow saves!

Sports nations not so blest as we,
Must all to losing seasons fall,
While thou shall flourish on the sea,
The green-clad envy of them all.

Go Athletics!
Athletics rule the waves!
Win divisions just as oft as Glavine's Braves!

Still more Milt and Swish shall thou dance,
More joyous with each home-run stroke.
Your mighty blasts that tear the skies,
Above the bay and Land of Oak.

Go Athletics!
Athletics rule the waves!
Smite the baseball with thy mighty wooden staves!

Thee basement tyrants e'er shall claim,
And their attempts to bend thee down,
Will but arouse thy generous flame.
And yield great pics for thy renown.

Go Athletics!
Athletics rule the waves!
Wear the old-school high-socks every woman craves!

To thee belongs the whole East Bay,
Thy city shall be Oakland still,
Yet you may sail to San Jose;
From every shore, thy bleachers fill!

Go Athletics!
Athletics rule the waves!
Not named for a parking lot that Wolff's cash paves!

The muses still, in A-N found,
Shall to thy game-day threads repair,
Thy runs with new-thread mojo crowned,
N-Rafs cheering from everywhere!

Go Athletics!
Athletics rule the waves!
Win the World Series while Joe Morgan raves!

Poll

Can it be done?

Sure thing! I have no idea what you're talking about, but sign me up for the bandwagon!

3 votes

No. I am totally lame, and suck at life, and am therefore too stupid to recognize Monkeyball's floating stadium idea for the pure, untarnished genius that it is.

7 votes

Absolutely! Buy a couple decomissionsed aircraft carriers, and slap the stadium on top of 'em like a catameran!

11 votes

No question! Revenues would skyrocket, and the cost of building a gigantic ship is nothing to the price of bay area real estate!

1 votes

For sure! And once the A's have their own country, Haren can carry medicinal herbs in his diplomatic pouch!

3 votes

Yeah! Bring on the concession stands with $30 seasickness pills!

1 votes

Of course it can! But leave the rhyming to the monkey, you freakish, bear-child-loving lake bird!

0 votes

Yes, yes, yes! Sail out of California waters, and hellllllo bleachers beer hawkers!

2 votes

Certainly! Just call up Wolff and threaten to write more of these if he won't agree!

1 votes

You bet! Technical difficulties are easy to surmount once you have an unofficial anthem!

1 votes

30 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 24 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

bonus points for using "staves"

Huzzah!

The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey's diaper as part of the visual inspection @('.')@

by monkeyball on Jan 18, 2007 4:54 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Hey, if I'd known...

...that was how to get praise from the Master of Athletics Verse, I would've lauded Duchscherer for staving off opponent's runs, and you again for setting Athletics' runs (and nacho runs) to music -- you may not write the notes, but I'd find a way to stuff musical staves in there /some/place!

(Visiting Cubs fan)

by Loon from Left on Jan 18, 2007 9:16 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Wrigley or Fenway in a wetlands?

I don't think so...

by OaklandSi on Jan 18, 2007 5:05 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Um..."Fen" means wetlands

And the Back Bay Fens area of Boston, which lends its name to the Fenway-Kenmore neighborhood and Fenway Park, was in fact a marshland.

So set sail!

"If your athame is a spork, you might be a Discordian."

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 18, 2007 6:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

was Fenway Park built

on marshland, instead of an urban area, after trends turned away from developing wetlands and back towards urban infill?

I hope people don't think it's good, sustainable planning to turn the clock from the 21st century to 19th century...

by OaklandSi on Jan 19, 2007 4:22 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

That was great!! :)

Love the high socks mention!! <3

I <3 Rich

by Cassandra on Jan 18, 2007 7:04 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Given the current state of Britannia

this would make the A's a minor league affiliate of the Yankees.

"Even if you know the deck is stacked in your favor, you still have to have the discipline to trust the math and the cojones to go to the ATM." BB

by green star oakland on Jan 18, 2007 7:28 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Can it float to San Diego occasionally?

"You can't arrest me, I'm a basketball player." - Gilbert Arenas

by JLaff on Jan 18, 2007 7:47 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Are you kidding?

This baby can stop in San Diego and Marina Del Rey, off the coast of Alaska, Asia, and select ports in the Middle East -- wherever NRAFs may be longing to see the game -- and still have time to sail up the Sacramento river to pick up Blez & company before game time. We're talking Nautilus-class radium engines, with a built-in flux capacitor! It's just a question of whether Wolff has got the vision!

(Visiting Cubs fan)

by Loon from Left on Jan 18, 2007 9:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Flux capacitor!?!? NICE!!!

The Glory Years of the 70's will live on 4EVR!1!

"...sometimes I can't tell the difference between baseball and magic."- salb918 "Ellie plowed into him like an evil, pink unicorn."-ArakSOT

by McFood on Jan 19, 2007 7:22 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Does that flux capacitor run on

1.21 Gigawatts? Maybe we can toss in leftover Coliseum food to power it ... dollar dogs, garlic fries, Dippin' Dots ...

by Rickeyfan on Jan 19, 2007 8:47 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I would also think

that since it could sail on down baja way or into the Carribean, there would be no need for this whole offseason thing. The nightmare would be over. Winter revenue, baby. Fabulous A's baseball related vacations off the coast of Venezuela or the Dominican Republic.
Who do I talk to about investing in the project?

Athletics fans have always defied the pessimists and seen our faith in Beanedom redeemed. ~ Monkeyball

by Kid Hyphy on Jan 19, 2007 9:34 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Cisco field seems to keep shrinking

Wolff's first projections for a new ballpark called for it to have 35-38,000 seats. Now it's 32-35,000, although Wolff has lately mentioned only 32,000 as the figure
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/16478715.htm

I have elsewhere seen it described as a 30-35,000 seat ballpark. And Wolff has remarked in at least one interview about "net profit", which may indicate that attendance above 25,000 tends to have a marginal effect on planned ballpark earnings:
http://newballpark.blogspot.com/
(see last paragraph of "Excerpts from Wolff on Ronn Owens show" entry)

so might we see a further shrinking of the ballpark plan?

by OaklandSi on Jan 19, 2007 7:57 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

OK, time for me to break the bad news to you guys

It's going to be a one-seater just for me.... and it won't be in Fremont, it'll be in downtown Redwood City...

"I mean, hey, if they're going to bring the A's to Fremont, you might as well bring a Hooters." ~ some guy

by Poppy on Jan 19, 2007 8:03 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Which, of course

makes it an obstructed view, by, you know, cities and bridges and stuff.

by DMOAS on Jan 19, 2007 8:35 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I forgot to mention...

There are plans underway for Alameda County to take ownership of Redwood City, so my new park won't be imposing on the Giants' territorial rights to San Mateo County.

"I mean, hey, if they're going to bring the A's to Fremont, you might as well bring a Hooters." ~ some guy

by Poppy on Jan 19, 2007 9:15 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

on the bright side

any game you attend would be a sellout!

by OaklandSi on Jan 20, 2007 1:47 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

He's been pretty consistent lately

about 32-35, likely closer to 32. I doubt it gets any smaller than that.

Read my latest articles

by devo on Jan 19, 2007 9:48 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

All the more reason to float it!

- With side revenue streams like off-shore gambling, duty-free beer sales, and vacation cruises, greater capacity suddenly makes sense again!
- If Wolff can't be convinced to build a bigger ballpark than he's planning, he won't even need both aircraft carriers; just shoehorn the thing into a tugboat!

(Visiting Cubs fan)

by Loon from Left on Jan 19, 2007 1:06 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

check out shipbreaking

The floating stadium idea is one I have advocated from way back. Of course, some Israeli architect proposed it for the Olympics years ago. Instead of each city building a huge stadium that doesn't match future needs, he advocated a floating stadium, to be towed from venue to venue every four years.

Greenpeace lists ships suseptible to shipbreaking:
http://www.greenpeaceweb.org/shipbreak/whatis.asp

Forget two aircraft carriers: two cruiseline ships would make better "pontoons".

Rename Fremont to Philadelphia, and all's well.

by One won lost won on Jan 19, 2007 4:50 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I think the Athletics could get 4 tanker hulls

from single-walled tankers, for about $10million total cost!

Four tanker hulls (no bow, no stern) would make a large platform out in San Leandro Bay. And the upper deck of the stadium could be built waaaaaay cheaper than a site-built second deck. Why? No need to provision for earthquake forces. Floating stadiums do not need earthquake reinforcement.

Check out the -need- to do something environmental with ships:
http://www.greenpeaceweb.org/shipbreak/

And, instead of mere "naming rights", the Athletics could sell the right to use the stadium for "earthquake emergency headquarters" to the city of Oakland......
...heck, why should I talk about what the "Athletics" should do... the city of Oakland could probably get this built as an earthquake command/shelter center, and get the state to pay for it. Then, while waiting for the Hayward Fault to crack, ....the Athletics can use it!

Rename Fremont to Philadelphia, and all's well.

by One won lost won on Jan 19, 2007 5:17 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Avast ye scurvy SF bilge rats!

We're testing our prototype already! Yarghhhhh!

"If your athame is a spork, you might be a Discordian."

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Jan 19, 2007 6:04 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

I'll be the killjoy

There are some challenges with this idea. First is the fact that even though the floating ballpark wouldn't be anchored to land, it would be on top of submerged land, which is governed by the Tidelands Trust, which heavily restricts development of such land. Cruise ships and tankers also do this too, but at least they have docking situations that make sense - in deep water. Most of the rest of the Bay is rather shallow.

Then there's the height problem. The deck height is 50-70 feet, maybe more. Plop a bunch of foundation work and the ballpark on top and the top seating row of the stadium will hit 200 feet or so. The Bay Bridge west span's height clearance is 220 feet (at 0 tide). I'm not including light towers or other stuff that might be higher, like a roof.

However, there are advantages. The whole thing could conceivably be fabricated in China, where steel is cheaper.

by vertig0 on Jan 20, 2007 8:58 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Chinese drydocks are booked

the Chinese, Korean, and I think even the Japanese are all booked with projects. However, the good news is, American drydocks are subsidized, meaning the bill gets reduced to the "foreign price tag" so that expertise is maintained in American ports, for defense reasons.

I think you want to tow the truncated VLCCs into San Francisco Bay, and do the final ironwork here. Yes, you could do a lot of the structural steel overseas, then barge it here, with the final assembly at Hunter's Point (jobs! for HP residents! As promised!)

Notice that the new Bay Bridge is being built in pieces in Stockton, then barged to the construction site. Anytime you can do it in a "factory", rather than "site built" is going to be vastly cheaper. And the Cisco plot will be entirely "site built".

An offshore stadium would be an incentive to build a "light rail" (a misnomer) or a monorail people mover over water. This type of practice could spawn practical offshoots for use elsewhere, whenever large numbers of people need to be moved quickly, but only at 15 mph.

Obviously, the tidelands would pose legal issues. There is nothing that doesn't in the USA today. There would have to be dredging too. However, there is a difference between "permanent development" like submerged, poured concrete, and a floating structure. See Sausalito, "anchored out". And what about the new Bay Bridge? Isn't that churning up the tidelands??

Recall too, that the historical reason for the shallow tidelands was hydraulic mining in the Sierras, which pour millions upon millions of tons of sediment into San Pablo/San Francisco Bays. The ocean used to have regular "breaker" waves on the Berkeley area shoreline... all made shallow by the dredging tailings. And Alameda was historically -not- an island. That channel was man-made. The whole area around the Alameda island has been tremendously distorted.

Rename Fremont to Philadelphia, and all's well.

by One won lost won on Jan 20, 2007 2:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Athletics Nation: An SB Nation Community

Login Bar

Network Bar

An SB Nation blog for Oakland Athletics fans