All-Time, All-Star, All-SOB team

I thought it would be amusing to assemble an allstar team comprised soley of SOB's.  Lou Gherig types need not apply.  I want a team that if fielded in your home town, not even their mothers would cheer for them.  I'm not talking about the occassional display of poor judgement.  Felons are highly encouraged to apply.  Extra points if you have been convicted.  If you want to make this team, you gotta work for it.  I want guys who left no doubt that they were amoungst the worst human beings to ever grace a baseball field.  You should have at least put up decent, if not spectacular numbers for at least a couple of seasons.  Also considered will be those who may have been decent people off the field, but their conduct on the field was at least reprehensible.  I'm looking at you Bob Gibson.  Would you have really drilled your mother in the ass with a ball if she had the nerve to crowd the plate?  I think so.

The Captain of my all-star all-prick team is....Tyrus Cobb.  You, Georgia Peach, lived during the most racially segregated period in American history when civil rights for black Americans were almost non existant.  Yet you managed to not only get arrested twice, but prosecuted twice for assaulting black Americans.  In 1915 that took effort.  My hat is off to you, you obnoxious bastard.  

In an effort to contribute to racial disharmony in the outfield, I nominate Barry Bonds as left fielder dujour.  Your prickishness is well known, as is your penchant to lie to grand juries.  For thumbing your nose at the baseball establishment and the American baseball fan, I tip my cap.  Wouldn't you just love to sit in the bleachers and listen to Cobb and Bonds jaw at each other?  

And speaking of breaking laws and baseball custom, how ya doing Pete Rose?  Your my starting thirdbaseman.  You of the patented, "I never bet on baseball" fame.  Giamatti not only banned you for life, he suffered an early demise from a heart attack in part because of the stress you inflicted on the old guy.  20 years later you come semi clean, but only because you believe that the lifetime ban may in fact last at least until your lifetime is complete.  You are one self serving bastard, and I tip my cap.  

My relief pitcher is John Rocker.  Cause he's just too stupid to leave off the list.  Sure you may have distasteful racial views, but did you really think that an SI reporter wouldn't blab them to the world if you elucidated them during an interview?  You may also be eligible for the all time simpleton award.  

Bob Gibson.  Perhaps the meanest man to ever hold a baseball on the mound.  Cause there was one thing for sure in a series with Gibson on the Hill.  Someone was gonna get drilled.  Pity the poor rookies who were sent to the box like sheep to the slaughter.  Everyone in the stadium knew what was about to happen.  And like a bad train wreck, everyone howled when you delivered.

That's all I have for now.  Please feel free to add your choices to the all-star all-sob team.  This team may be the first in history to have a benchs clearing brawl involving only the guys from their own benchs.