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Around SBN: Please, Someone Make Bob Sapp Stop Already

Sneaking drinks into the ballpark

First of all, I'd like to say that if beer didn't cost a ridiculous amount at the ballpark, I wouldn't condone this.  But, as it stands, I just can't pay the ballpark prices for alcohol.

Star-divide

So, I've developed some tricks over the last few years.  If you want to sneak bottles in, then I found baggy clothes, especially on a girl, usually does the trick.  The only caveat is that you DON'T want to do this on a Wednesday game as they do a much better job searching you.  Gordon Biersch bottles are good to bring in since they have plastic bottles for sale at the park that look almost identical.

The next trick which I've used at a fair number of events, not just ball games, is the zip-loc bags full of vodka or rum in cargo pockets.  Double bag to make sure it doesn't leak, then when you get in, buy a lemonade or coke, mix, and enjoy!  $4 for a soda isn't as hard to swallow.

Finally, and really the reason for this diary, is this invention that a friend just alerted me to.  It's brilliant and funny:

http://www.thebeerbelly.com

I haven't tried it out yet, though on my long and lean frame, I'd probably look like a pregnant dude.

So, what have you guys/girls done to sneak in drinks?  Any tips/funny stories of being caught/warnings?

 ~ Matt

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I sneak drinks in in sal's pants
the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 24, 2006 2:50 PM PDT reply actions  

Bando or Fasano?
Macha Lekka Hi - Macha Hiney Ho!

by Vaillant on May 24, 2006 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sal Fasano killed my father.
I wouldn't sneak a drink in his pants if his safety hose were on fire.
the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 24, 2006 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

Baggy shorts with big back pockets are great:
For those mini bottles of Captain!!!
While taint is everywhere and baseball is certainly no different, it's important that it be treated with open attention-Devo

by saint @ Athletics Nation on May 24, 2006 3:13 PM PDT reply actions  

Tigten your belt
around a couple bottles of beer right inside the waist of you pants. I thought they would fall the irst tme I did it, but it worked pretty well. I also have found that they only check bags, purses and extremely bulky items
"...His energy, preparation, his thoroughness, his word choice---he is without peer." Greg Papa on Bill King

by westsideclubbin on May 24, 2006 4:13 PM PDT reply actions  

Mike's Hard Lemon-Ade in a water bottle and
you're in like Flint.

P.S. That is NOT the delicious beverage I was and will be enjoying at AN Day 2/3. Repeat...NOT.<burp>

New advertising campaign...A's Brand Baseball: Blink, and You'll Miss It. - Kyli

by McFood on May 24, 2006 4:18 PM PDT reply actions  

get a blue nalgene water bottle
and fill it with your favorite liquid. Could be water, could be vodka, doesn't matter, it looks blue! :)
There's no crying in baseball!

by gigglingone on May 24, 2006 4:28 PM PDT reply actions  

The baggy shirt/jersey trick is underrated, ...
My size XL Zito jersey has covered both fifths and liters of booze into Jacob's Field. Gotta wonder what the guy who cleans the men's room says to himself upon finding a liter of Bacardi in a stall.

Warnings/getting caught? Only once the girls we were with used their empty mix drink cups to play flip cup in the picnic area once we moved on to beer.

Unless you go on discount beer night, it's tough to tie one on at the ballpark.  I'll probably continue to bootleg booze into the stadium, probably as soon as two weeks from now when the A's go to the Jake.  

by RyanFromBonas on May 24, 2006 4:31 PM PDT reply actions  

Maintaining...
Mostly, I like to tailgate before the game and then maintain my happiness during the game.  So I don't sneak in a ridiculous amount, just enough to stay happy, even if the A's aren't doing well.  I'm a happy drunk, so it's not a problem...I think angry drunks and the charged atmosphere of a ballgame are a bad combo.
Macha Lekka Hi - Macha Hiney Ho!

by Vaillant on May 24, 2006 5:12 PM PDT reply actions  

Flask at the bottom of the purse.
I don't think they've ever searched all the way through my purse.

Also, putting a flask or small bottle of booze inside a box of tampons: the ultimate female weapon.

"This must be heaven," he says.
"No. It's Oakland."

by Kyli on May 24, 2006 5:41 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh my god.
That is so brilliant! I can't believe I never thought of that....
Ron Washington: Thinking outside of the three-sided box since 1977

by tankerraid on May 25, 2006 8:01 AM PDT up reply actions  

Woman Power!
Seriously, that's just a great idea.  I'm going to have to spread the word to my female accomplices.
Macha Lekka Hi - Macha Hiney Ho!

by Vaillant on May 25, 2006 9:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

would that work better or worse ...
... if a guy were to hide the bevvy under tampons in his backpack?
the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 25, 2006 10:00 AM PDT up reply actions  

Better...
but only if you soak them in alcohol first.
New advertising campaign...A's Brand Baseball: Blink, and You'll Miss It. - Kyli

by McFood on May 26, 2006 10:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

water bottles work
i just use regular clear 16oz water bottles from home and fill them up with beer. i put the bottles in my bag. at the entrance the guards usually ask me to open up the bag, and i oblige. never has there been a problem.

by uci anteater on May 24, 2006 7:52 PM PDT reply actions  

This is an excellent diary
I usually procure a couple 16-20 oz bottles of coke, drink a few swigs, fill them to the top with whiskey, and give them a shake.


Also, for those not into the baggy look, a deftly placed pint of the hard stuff in the old whitey-tighties can only enhance the maleness of one's crotchal demeanor, while providing more than enough alco-beverage to get totally soused. Just don't tell anyone where its been.  

by scromulus on May 24, 2006 10:07 PM PDT reply actions  

theres
  • vodka in a water bottle
  • rum or beer in a coke bottle
etc etc
Oakrand.

by ConditionOakland on May 24, 2006 10:43 PM PDT reply actions  

One time
I slid a can of beer into a Pringles box.  It was a perfect fit, circumference-wise.  Although as I recall the Pringles box is only tall enough for one can.
It's a beautiful day for baseball.

by As Man on May 24, 2006 11:39 PM PDT reply actions  

LOL
"Wow, you must really like Pringles... 12 boxes?"
"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 25, 2006 6:46 AM PDT up reply actions  

Vodka or gin
in the water bottle is what I usually do. Or I just drink my beer in the lot (or even on BART!) before the game.
Vegetable medley!

by senork on May 25, 2006 3:52 AM PDT reply actions  

do you work for BART?
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 7:49 AM PDT up reply actions  

Water Bottles?
They don't open them to check them?  I would have figured that they would, so I never tried.  You're talking about a nalgene bottle, right?
Macha Lekka Hi - Macha Hiney Ho!

by Vaillant on May 25, 2006 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions  

Actually
I meant the Crystal Geyser/Arrowhead style-bottles (the 16-ouncers). I'm sure a Nalgene would work, too.

And no, I don't work for BART. It's just that the trains are usually pretty packed when I get to go to games, so the cops don't really take much notice of a guy drinking something out of a can.

Vegetable medley!

by senork on May 28, 2006 12:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

i put the drinks on the bottom of my purse, then
load stuff really personal stuff on top. security gets embarrassed and lets me through.
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 7:48 AM PDT reply actions  

You ARE Jay Witasick!
16 year old girls don't drink, and I'm pretty sure 'sick carries a purse.
Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 25, 2006 9:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

soda
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 9:57 AM PDT up reply actions  

You don't have to sneak soda in
As long as it's not glass or a can you're good to go.

by indigo on May 25, 2006 2:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

i'm a can person
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

Me too...
but totally not worth the effort of trying to sneak in.

by indigo on May 25, 2006 11:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

i only drink from the can
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 26, 2006 10:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

Garbage can? Or did you mean 'can' as in...
"I gotta go to the can, man!"?

That's funny, I didn't take you for a dumpster diver. But I bet you find all kinds of barely used good stuff in that gated community of yours. Is that where you got all your shoes?

Ok, you know I'm joking, right?

New advertising campaign...A's Brand Baseball: Blink, and You'll Miss It. - Kyli

by McFood on May 26, 2006 10:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

i know you are joking
and my gated community is very clean. we don't litter here, we are nice to the enviroment.
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 27, 2006 8:10 AM PDT up reply actions  

It's not a purse...
It's a European Carry-all!

It's a Man Bag!

It's two references to shows that aren't on TV anymore!

Macha Lekka Hi - Macha Hiney Ho!

by Vaillant on May 25, 2006 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions  

Well whatever you call it
it's a little "un-macho"  "not-very-manly" "too-close-to-gay"

oddly enough, my bf has one too!!

Can I move back to NorCal?!

by griffisgurl on May 25, 2006 11:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

Raspberry vodka
in a bottle of raspberry snapple worked for me last time.  The security guard had me crack it open so that he could smell it, and he didn't catch it.
death to myspace!

by malikot on May 25, 2006 9:48 AM PDT reply actions  

hmmm might have to try that
but since i immensely enjoy the Vanilla Vodka, i'll be mixing that with the DR. Pepper (Cherry vanilla)   so fricken good!
Can I move back to NorCal?!

by griffisgurl on May 25, 2006 11:32 AM PDT up reply actions  

on a related note ...
... does anyone have advice for sneaking skinks into the ballpark?
the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 25, 2006 11:46 AM PDT reply actions  

there's mf'in skinks in the mf'in cooler bag!
"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 25, 2006 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

bring in a backpack
and just fill it up with whatever other things you need. margarita mix, chasers, cups, etc.

then proceed to stuff your pockets, crotch, etc with whatever the heck u want. i usually go wtih 2 beers and a fifth of 100 proof vodka

security only asks u to open the bag and never asks you to remove things from your pockets.

by fadedash on May 25, 2006 12:26 PM PDT reply actions  

you would drink something that has been next to
your crotch?
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 12:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

yes ma'am
i dunno about yours, but my crotch tends to stay on the clean side

by fadedash on May 25, 2006 12:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

how was i supposed to know that?
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

Not to corrupt you...
...but just about every guy makes sure that part of him is extra clean.  I'd figure you knew that, Jay.
Macha Lekka Hi - Macha Hiney Ho!

by Vaillant on May 25, 2006 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

you figured wrong
I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 25, 2006 4:22 PM PDT up reply actions  

word on the crotch area
I put my 26er down the front of my pants. No one is the "Wiser".
"The Matt Watson/Chiba Lotte Marines Fan Club"-The Committee is accepting new memberships (please pay in Yen). "Raking" numbers soon to be posted.

by bigelephant on May 25, 2006 3:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

I've never had problems before,
but the last time I was at the park the guy asked me to crack open my vitamin water.  He must have been a real stickler because the color of my margarita matched the color of the citrus vitamin water exactly (I checked)!

by twinkle toes on May 25, 2006 2:30 PM PDT reply actions  

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