From the Too Little, Too Late Dept.:
MLB launches a steroid investigation.
From the Better Late Than Never Dept.:
Nomah goes from worst to first.
From the Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Dept:
BALCO King Meathead released from prison.
From the Take a Number, Boys, The Line Forms Here Dept.:
Dragon Lady Anna Benson files for divorce.
Anyone without a 7 digit annual contract need not apply. Did I say "7"? Make that "8".