One score minus seventeen years ago, our beloved blogmaster brought forth upon this great Town a New Nation, conceived in tangibles, and dedicated to the proposition that One glorious team is without equal.
We are now engaged in a great struggle, testing whether a team so conceived and so dedicated can long endure in the post-season.
<Pauses in silence for Miggy, Hudson, and Mulder et al.>
It is for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us-that in honor of great A's past, we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that their striving shall not have been in vain--that this Nation Under Billy shall have a glorious new birth of victory, and that baseball of the unicorns, by the nerds, and for the bitches shall not perish from the earth.
(I don't have monkeyballesque stamina to cover the whole thing.)