DLD 10/20/07: Patience, Profanity & Diego 3 Finale

by Apricot on Oct 20, 2006 1:21 AM PDT

Looks like the A's might actually take some time looking for a new manager.

A's will be patient in picking next manager (AP)
The Oakland Athletics are prepared to take their time in hiring their next manager. For now, re-signing slugger Frank Thomas is a top priority for general manager Billy Beane. The A's have offered 38-year-old Thomas a two-year deal, and Oakland is hoping to get something done before the Big Hurt can file for free agency after the World Series.

Different folks seek different strokes at helm
Ken Macha received a pink slip this week because he wasn't a players' manager. The same day, the highly coveted Lou Piniella received a three-year contract from the Cubs, largely because he was a welcome alternative to Dusty Baker, a players' manager.

Deconstructing the Coliseum, Part I: The Bowl Shape
This is the first article of a new series called "Deconstructing the Coliseum." The purpose is not to trash it or spit on it, for the Coliseum has served its purpose admirably over the years. Instead, my goal is to educate readers of this site on what to potentially expect from a new ballpark, and how it compares with the current situation and other ballparks as well. The first part of this task is explaining where the Coliseum succeeds and fails.

This is from the "new A's ballpark" blog, which has a lot of great articles and nuts and bolts relating to, well, see title.

Retrieve Lilly from the doghouse? (Kershner)

Guilty pleasure (Warning: Continual profanity.): The worst rated player in Madden 07 writes him hate mail. . Sample: It's also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly s--t and p--s myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

----

We're at the end of Season Three of our complex and elaborately staged pastoral opera, "The Dialogues of Diego Chavez". Thanks for allowing me a little space to be as weird as I want. Thanks for those of you who have encouraged and enjoyed, and for everyone else I'll try harder next year. Tomorrow, let the usual chaotic jostling for Dump Opening return.

Season One
Season Two
Season Three So Far (1. Grover Woos Tapir, 2. Thunderbutt Woos Toilet, 3. Kyli Woos Slusser, 4. Whiteshoes40 Woos Hairy Chins, 5. Poppy Sniffs Special Air From Special Places)

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Comments

that's awesome

good work, funny.

the "i pinch" line got me laughing...

--Nebraska--

ThePastime

by Ryan Armbrust on Oct 20, 2006 2:43 AM PDT reply actions

No carrots/icicles?

Sad.

"He's the heart and soul of the green and gold."

by whiteshoes40 on Oct 20, 2006 2:44 AM PDT reply actions

<hugs>

This has been my favorite season of Diego.

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 6:24 AM PDT reply actions

bwahahaha!

Excellent, thanks for being so weird, Apricot! :-D

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 6:27 AM PDT reply actions

I'm disappointed...

That the third season of Diego Chavez will only last a week. This is the kind of humor I love and appreciate!

As for baseball matters, I like the idea of bringing Lilly back. I think he can provide a lot of good innings for this team, especially with the excellent defense.

ducks to avoid flying chair

by JLeverenz on Oct 20, 2006 7:01 AM PDT reply actions

top notch

I love the comics section since I recently quit getting the daily newspaper.

TOTAL BS-- I was "chosen" for WS tickets in St. Louis and when I went to purchase them... I waited for nearly 35 minutes to find out they were SOLD OUT. I'm sure glad this didn't happen with A's tickets because I would have been totally devastated. What a jip!

"A's Brand Baseball: The worst best baseball you've ever seen!" -Chavvy

by ohtobe21likehuston on Oct 20, 2006 7:48 AM PDT reply actions

The Adventures

airs like Lost... a little here, suddenly takes a break... Like Lost, I'd rather they just keep running

"Having a vote for 'most clutch' baseball player is like having a vote for 'most real' monster." - Ken Tremendous

by ArakSOT on Oct 20, 2006 7:52 AM PDT reply actions

I hate you.

I purchased this last night.

<sigh>

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 8:01 AM PDT up reply actions

I hope you didn't pay more than thirteen cents...

because that's what it'll be selling for in the bargain bin in WalMart next year. Of course, you'll also be able to get a slightly used version on amazon.com for twelve cents plus $49.99 S&H.

"...sometimes I can't tell the difference between baseball and magic."- salb918 "Ellie plowed into him like an evil, pink unicorn."-ArakSOT

by McFood on Oct 20, 2006 8:06 AM PDT up reply actions

Wecome back!

You won't regret it. And remember, I did return to the game threads.

"Having a vote for 'most clutch' baseball player is like having a vote for 'most real' monster." - Ken Tremendous

by ArakSOT on Oct 20, 2006 8:10 AM PDT up reply actions

Yeah, yeah.

I'm so weak.

I've also downloaded the S3 eps that have aired. I'll be prepared for next Wednesday.

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 8:15 AM PDT up reply actions

You're not weak.

You're loyal. And resilient.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:25 AM PDT up reply actions

Almost one year...

...down the drain.

<sigh>

The box is just sitting next to my laptop (with it's bitchin new A's skin, btw), waiting to suck me back in. I think I heard it talking to me last night... Come home, Jennifer. You'll love it here. You know you want to... you can't stay away!

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 8:34 AM PDT up reply actions

"One year down the drain."

That's what every season Oakland doesn't win the World Series is. Woof.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 8:35 AM PDT up reply actions

Rough!

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:37 AM PDT up reply actions

Can it, sabernerd.

"Having a vote for 'most clutch' baseball player is like having a vote for 'most real' monster." - Ken Tremendous

by ArakSOT on Oct 20, 2006 8:50 AM PDT up reply actions

that's what I call ...

... "getting rid of the monkey bars" after a very long hiatus.

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 9:10 AM PDT up reply actions

<throws roses>

Bravissimo! Lovin' the Dialogues.

"...sometimes I can't tell the difference between baseball and magic."- salb918 "Ellie plowed into him like an evil, pink unicorn."-ArakSOT

by McFood on Oct 20, 2006 8:02 AM PDT reply actions

If you have toenails to clip...

or a spider on the wall to watch, by all means do it.

The time will be well worth it rather than reading Ray Ratto's latest column on the A's/Giants' interest in Angels pitching coach Harry Black as a prospective manager.

It's just Ratto being Ratto.

Tin Roof

by Ice Cream on Oct 20, 2006 8:23 AM PDT reply actions

Does it matter whose toenails?

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:25 AM PDT up reply actions

Do you have a length limit?

Tin Roof

by Ice Cream on Oct 20, 2006 8:30 AM PDT up reply actions

Yes, and a height limit.

This is slightly over...

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:41 AM PDT up reply actions

I've spent about a minute

trying to make myself brave enough to click that link.

Haven't made it yet...

Kettlecorn! Swishercorn!

by TurnTwo on Oct 20, 2006 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions

Come on, you know you want to.

Everyone else is doing it. If you really loved me, you'd click that link.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions

Someone better cut those

They're all about to become ingrown.

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions

AARGH! BARTOLO FOOT!

"It's time to blow this team up." - Oaktoon, July 2006

by Ozzz on Oct 20, 2006 9:52 AM PDT up reply actions

c'mon, Poppy ...

Thief of Baghdad? Everyone knows the A's don't steal.

Or was that a too-subtle political gesture?

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions

So.

When's the next A's game? Is Zito pitching?

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 8:40 AM PDT reply actions

bleh

The end of KenKo's game wrap last Saturday... "We'll be back on the air with the pregame show from Arizona at 11:30 a.m., March 3rd..."

I don't want to think that far ahead about anything right now... :\

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions

Nice Bill King homage

That of course was Bill's signature season signoff comment. I wonder if Ken's still keeping a Holy Toledo set aside for the proper occasion.

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 8:48 AM PDT up reply actions

Except for the season being over part

that was always one of my favorite moments of the season. I was glad that Ken picked it up!

"Don't be an ass!" --Bill King

by batgirl on Oct 20, 2006 10:40 AM PDT up reply actions

It's really not that far away

when you think about it.

I mean, it's already the end of October. And November and December fly by because of the holidays. January is the NFL postseason and February is the shortest month of the year, so really? Spring Training will be here in no time.

by sienna on Oct 20, 2006 8:51 AM PDT up reply actions

We should all get together

and stage reenactments. I'll be Lackey.

by mikeA on Oct 20, 2006 8:48 AM PDT up reply actions

I dibs Kendall!

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 8:48 AM PDT up reply actions

I'll be MaEl

From the on-deck circle, staying on the very outskirts of the scrum like, "I support my teammate's jock-given right to be an idiot, but I really don't want to get in there..."

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:51 AM PDT up reply actions

I'll be Joe Nathan or Mark Grudzmynameisverylong

and break on of your fingers! It'll be great!

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions

Look!

I'm showing you which finger you can break!

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:57 AM PDT up reply actions

Isn't that the only one he hasn't broke?

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 9:00 AM PDT up reply actions

Gotta have a matched set!

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 9:06 AM PDT up reply actions

Crosby

So that I can injure my back posting on AN.

On Sunday, Minaya ticked off a list of candidates to join the rotation, and for once this season, none of them was Jose Lima.

by rfloh on Oct 20, 2006 8:54 AM PDT up reply actions

{head explodes}

My boss just sent a mass-email with the subject line "Please don't mispell."

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 8:52 AM PDT reply actions

People in your office

aren't pelling properly. A company that can't pell is doomed, so he's within his rights as boss to make sure that everybody pells in accordance to section 7.1(A)(1) of the employee handbook.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 8:58 AM PDT up reply actions

HAH!

{points to "Company's Vary Best Peller" plaque on cube wall}

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions

this is crazy! it's insane! chaos!

You could almost call it ... pell-MaEl ...

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 9:12 AM PDT up reply actions

Or, dare I say it...

...a MaElstrom?

</Dr Evil pinkie>

"It's time to blow this team up." - Oaktoon, July 2006

by Ozzz on Oct 20, 2006 9:30 AM PDT up reply actions

Tat's juzt clasic!

"One thing about ground balls. They don't go out of the ball park." - Tim McCarver

Off The Record

by JLaff on Oct 20, 2006 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions

LOOL!

Certum est quod certum reddi potest.

by oblique on Oct 20, 2006 9:38 AM PDT up reply actions

LAMO!

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions

Y DOAN U GO CHOO SUM GUNN

Certum est quod certum reddi potest.

by oblique on Oct 20, 2006 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions

I LOVE the 'I pinch' commercial

For anyone who wants to see it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkAvO9v2Nk

Fire Joe Morgan does more about the A's & Macha.

Some gems:

How could anyone blame Macha for losing to the Tigers? After second baseman Mark Ellis was injured, Beane gave Macha the combo of D'Angelo Jimenez and Mark Kiger. Jimenez may have been the worst starting second baseman in a playoff game this decade, while Kiger was making his MLB debut.

I could be wrong, but wasn't Ellis injured during the playoffs? Apparently, Beane was supposed to fly Robby Cano to Oakland, give him a fake moustache, and have him pretend to be Cobinson Rano: Oakland A's Second Baseman Who Is Totally On the Playoff Roster!

During the regular season, when the A's were in Toronto, catcher Jason Kendall was suspended, so Beane elevated one of his Moneyball legends, overhyped draft choice, roly-poly catcher Jeremy Brown. Macha laughed in the face of a question about how much playing time Brown would get. "None."

Listen to me carefully, Richard Griffin. I have several points to make.

The fact that a catcher got suspended means that the GM, in this case Billy Beane, would be doing a huge disservice to his team by not putting another catcher on the team ASAP. So. They had a catcher in the minors, who is on the 40-man roster, who has decent AAA stats (.764 OPS, 13HR in 77 games -- not great, but workable), so he promoted him. What is the problem here?
Ken Macha laughing and being snarky about how much playing time a new guy is going to get is a dickish thing to do, and is exactly the kind of thing that got him fired.
Jason Kendall was out for four games. Four. So the worst thing that could have happened was that Jeremy Brown would be there for four games. In May.
In the last two full seasons, Jason Kendall, who makes $11 million a year, has OPSes of .709 and .666. In the minute sample size of MLB-level experience this year, Jeremy Brown was 3-10 with 2 2Bs. Career, 4-12. That shit ain't bad. Maybe Macha should have played him more. Or maybe he shouldn't've. But he definitely shouldn't have laughed at the question of how much the guy was going to play. What good does that do?

Ho hum. Just another day for the OAKLAND ATHLETICS OF AWESOME! ~Kyli

by baseballgirl on Oct 20, 2006 9:02 AM PDT reply actions

thanks for the madden link

absolutely hilarious.

"...we don't score six, seven runs. We score three, four runs and play defense and pitch" - Eric Chavez

by pickinmachine on Oct 20, 2006 9:06 AM PDT reply actions

<censored> me sideways with a lunchbox.

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 9:14 AM PDT up reply actions

Oh, man.

Stupid hit like this is why I hated high school, and the Betting Fool reminds me why I probably wouldn't be his friend. Anybody who puts a children's game of tag or touch football on the same level of being tied up and kicked in the nuts is insane.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 9:15 AM PDT reply actions

Oh c'mon, if you can't take a little nut kicking

how are you gonna handle being drafted and shipped to Iran?

I believe the Betting Fool can say, without fear of hyperbole, that the actions of Contra Costa authorities are a thousand times worse than those of Charles Manson, Kenneth Lay, and Todd Marinovich's parents combined!

I do note with some glee that the Betting Fool has lost 40% of his bankroll in a mere six weeks of football games.

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 9:26 AM PDT up reply actions

I love how the Fool calls it..

..."a kick near the groin area"...

Is that near Toledo?

"It's time to blow this team up." - Oaktoon, July 2006

by Ozzz on Oct 20, 2006 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions

The betting fool

Christ, what an asshole.

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 9:44 AM PDT up reply actions

My solution to hating high school:

Just don't go.

Of course... now you're at MIT while I'm working for someone who thinks I can't pell.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions

I know I'm insulted

Nut-kicking was my favorite past time in school. How dare he compare it to playing tag?

"[Frank's] a big battler. He's the mother of battleships."

-Nick Swisher

by kaweahkaweah on Oct 20, 2006 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions

mine was lemur-conking

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:34 AM PDT up reply actions

Jason Kendall, look out!

Et tu, Melhuse?

"One thing about ground balls. They don't go out of the ball park." - Tim McCarver

Off The Record

by JLaff on Oct 20, 2006 9:22 AM PDT reply actions

Blargh.

So I finally downloaded Game 3 of the ALDS last week (and it took like two days to download), and when it gets to the bottom of the 7th inning, it freezes and tells me iTunes has encountered a problem and has to close. No, really, there's no problem, unless you're the Twins who are about to be eliminated, but I'm not, so I just want to watch the freakin' game and see Scoot's big hit and see the happiness because it's the last time we were happy this season so just STOP HAVING A PROBLEM, okay?

<ahem> Okay, carry on.

"He's the heart and soul of the green and gold."

by whiteshoes40 on Oct 20, 2006 9:27 AM PDT reply actions

off topic a bit...

but this reminded me... I downloaded an episode of Heroes from nbc.com a couple weeks ago and it cut off the last few minutes of the show like they didn't upload the whole thing. Why would they do that???

"I never saw a hooligan I did like. They're like left-handed pitchers, they all have a screw loose somewhere." - The Asphalt Jungle

by drmmerchk on Oct 20, 2006 11:38 AM PDT up reply actions

In a water landing it's also a flotation device!

A man who would be Oklahoma's superintendent of education proposes putting a used textbook under each kid's desk to protect them from gunfire.

"Bill Crozier, a Union City (OK) Republican going against incumbent Democrat Sandy Garrett, said he believes old textbooks could be used to stop bullets shot from weapons wielded by school intruders. If elected, he said he would put thick used textbooks under every desk for students to use in self-defense...`We need to look at protection of young people that sometimes people may think you are a little smarter than everybody else or a higher IQ or whatever. They need to look at what the end result would be,' Crozier said."

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 9:38 AM PDT reply actions

<sigh>

Where do I begin?

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions

With a calculus textbook.

Those suckers are usually pretty thick. Don't go for the foreign language workbooks; those couldn't stop a BB gun.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 9:44 AM PDT up reply actions

It's nice to see them serve

such a transcendental function.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 9:52 AM PDT up reply actions

Oh, lordy.

Wow.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions

What's wrong with trying to limit

a bullet's damage? I think taking measures to protect our children is integral to improving our schools.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:17 AM PDT up reply actions

It's been done before

The whole idea is pretty derivative. Anyway, it's not going to work, and all those kids are going to end up in l'Hopital.

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions

Goddammit.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions

That doesn't rule.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:24 AM PDT up reply actions

The first one was good.

But now this is just derivative humor.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:19 AM PDT up reply actions

There's lots to discuss here.

For one, judging on the post below, Oklahoma schools really need to work on their techniques of integration.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:24 AM PDT up reply actions

you're all engaging in hyperbole

I wish you'd all go back on your meds, so you can start approaching asymptomatic status.

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions

Look!

Someone is here with a gun! Thank goodness I have this book under my desk.

Seriously?

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 9:53 AM PDT up reply actions

LOL

Ho hum. Just another day for the OAKLAND ATHLETICS OF AWESOME! ~Kyli

by baseballgirl on Oct 20, 2006 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions

An added bonus

of destroying calculus textbooks is that it could prevent something like Enron from happening again.

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 9:54 AM PDT up reply actions

lol

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 9:58 AM PDT up reply actions

If that's the goal

then shouldn't they put laptops under each desk?

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions

would that make them "asstops"?

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:15 AM PDT up reply actions

or Moneyball, for that matter

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions

Or Apricot.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions

the horror ... the horror ...

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions

I'd like to see an

adaptation of Heart of Darkness for baseball. A GM gone mad in the wilds of Oakland. Lew Wolff and company hire a manager to find him. Monkeyball, see what you can do with this, huh? </demands on other people's time>

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:18 AM PDT up reply actions

that's a capital idea

I'll file that one away, maybe do some notes this weekend.

"Mistah Ken, he dead"?

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:33 AM PDT up reply actions

If you don't I will

I'm adding Heart of Darkness to Stomper's Peanutball idea list (which means I may get to it by the time Jeremy Brown hits a real MLB triple).

OaklANdtown is higher on that list, though. "He's my GM!" (slap) "My owner!" (slap) "My GM!" "My owner" etc etc

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 10:40 AM PDT up reply actions

Forget about it, Ken ...

Hm. Well if Billy is Noah Cross ... who, exactly, is gonna be Evelyn Cross Mulwray? <shudder>

I can see a whole series of these Cinematic Interludes: Beane as Al Pacino (and Sandy Alderson as Brando) in The Ballfather; Beane as Al Pacino in Statface; Beane as Kevin Costner (and Joe Morgan as De Niro) in The Unmoneyballs ...

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions

Stomper as Martin Sheen

stuporous in his Saigon hotel room in the opening scene of Apocalyse Now.

I actually am using this one for a different project.

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 12:19 PM PDT up reply actions

you should incorporate R.E.M.'s 'Electrolite'

Hollywood is under me
I'm Martin Sheen
I'm Steve McQueen
I'm elephantine

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Should make for a good episode of

Mythbusters.

by mikeA on Oct 20, 2006 9:44 AM PDT up reply actions

Someone is

finally thinking of the children.

by mikeA on Oct 20, 2006 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions

More than that.

A Republican is FINALLY thinking about buying some textbooks for schools.

Although the 'demonstration video' they did was pretty awesome. There's just something oh-so-right about video footage of Republicans firing guns through school textbooks...

"It's time to blow this team up." - Oaktoon, July 2006

by Ozzz on Oct 20, 2006 9:50 AM PDT up reply actions

Duck and cover!

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 9:46 AM PDT up reply actions

Man, Oklahoma schools are rough

First the rampant lesbianism, now this.

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 9:47 AM PDT up reply actions

How can you blame them?

If I was a girl, and the only guys around looked like this, I'd be a lesbian too!

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 9:51 AM PDT up reply actions

Which one is

GreenandGoldSooner?

by mikeA on Oct 20, 2006 10:04 AM PDT up reply actions

I wonder

what cutting edge tool the school board will deploy to ward off lesbian advances. Erasers? Chalk?

by mikeA on Oct 20, 2006 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions

Sporks!

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 10:12 AM PDT up reply actions

setup and punchline of the month

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:14 AM PDT up reply actions

A well-executed setup/punchline

combo is more rewarding than an alley-oop. Just beautiful.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:15 AM PDT up reply actions

you know what's beautiful?

"Alley-oop" backwards is "poo-yella."

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions

Nacho runs.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions

and

"stratagem" backwards is "megatarts"

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 10:17 AM PDT up reply actions

Carl Everett doesn't believe in Alley Oop.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:18 AM PDT up reply actions

actually, if I know my Creationism, he DOES

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions

<points at mikeA while jogging back upcourt

in classic unselfish Tarheel hoops style>

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 10:42 AM PDT up reply actions

<bends low at waist and knees>

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 11:09 AM PDT up reply actions

<calls timeout he doesn't have>

In classic Michigan Wolverine fashion.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions

<passes ball backwards to james worthy down 1

with 15 seconds left in the game> in typical Georgetown fashion. Even though that was a little before my time.

by DavidA on Oct 20, 2006 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions

What I want to know is:

Who is the one girl that's allowed to go to the bathroom?

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions

The one straight girl

in the ENTIRE SE Oklahoma educational system.

by DavidA on Oct 20, 2006 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions

el oh el

I didn't know which set of comments on this link to reply to because so many made me laugh so I'll just post here!

Offseason link dumps are amazing.

"I never saw a hooligan I did like. They're like left-handed pitchers, they all have a screw loose somewhere." - The Asphalt Jungle

by drmmerchk on Oct 20, 2006 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions

Oh Barry.

His hair looks surprisingly normal.
Why does he have a bat? For that matter, are those his bats sitting in the locker behind him? Possibilities: leftover from interleague; looking forward to the World Series; or [conspiracy theory alert!] he's planning on signing with an NL team and so needed lots of bats.

I have too much time on my hands.

"He's the heart and soul of the green and gold."

by whiteshoes40 on Oct 20, 2006 9:38 AM PDT reply actions

Stole them from A Perez.

Look for Game Used Antonio Perez bats on eBay soon. Seller's ID: curve4life

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions

MrBendy

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 9:48 AM PDT up reply actions

FITZgerald

"So, whatever, Ozzie." -- Nick Swisher

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Oct 20, 2006 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Christ....

nope, still can't do it.

Certum est quod certum reddi potest.

by oblique on Oct 20, 2006 9:48 AM PDT up reply actions

It'll come out so easy

if he's in pinstripes.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions

sigh

by gotgreen on Oct 20, 2006 10:00 AM PDT up reply actions

I saw him Wednesday afternoon...

...outside the ticket office after I went in to take care of my <sob> playoff tix refund. He was dressed normal then, too. Almost didn't recognize him.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:03 AM PDT up reply actions

That's kinda sad.

"I almost landed in some lady's lap, which was kinda fun.'' -- Swish

by Sharon on Oct 20, 2006 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions

Not as sad as

The Lake House.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions

<barf>

"I almost landed in some lady's lap, which was kinda fun.'' -- Swish

by Sharon on Oct 20, 2006 10:13 AM PDT up reply actions

That's the bat he used

to beat Macha with on the way out.

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 10:11 AM PDT up reply actions

Looks too tired to clean out his locker.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions

it's an act

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions

Really?

You think he's that good an actor?

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 10:38 AM PDT up reply actions

Probably spent the previous night

in San Francisco on a drinking jag.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:39 AM PDT up reply actions

snerk

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:40 AM PDT up reply actions

I can see the press conference now:

Barry, why did you decided to stay in Oakland?

"I was too tired to clean out my locker."

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Winner!

by DMOAS on Oct 20, 2006 6:38 PM PDT up reply actions

:'o(

by beijing on Oct 20, 2006 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions

MLB, players near "labor" agreement.

It could be finalized as early as this weekend. No major changes are expected.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:43 AM PDT reply actions

With epidurals, or "natural"?

{preps episiotomy knife}

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:46 AM PDT up reply actions

Actually, Cubs' MI Izturis is midwifing.

So it's a Cesarian.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions

Unfortunately,

according to the NYT, "negotiators are expected to eliminate draft-choice compensation for lost free agents, a step they came close to taking four years ago."

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions

booooooooo!

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions

Sucks the ESPN article doesn't mention it.

That's a major detail for small-market clubs.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions

that sucks

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Oct 20, 2006 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions

Man, is the Cardinals rotation screwed.

What are they going to do? Start Weaver in Game 1 on short rest? Start Anthony Reyes and live with him pitching twice? Start Weaver and Carpenter in games 1 and 2, BOTH on short rest?

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 10:52 AM PDT reply actions

<grabs popcorn>

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions

{butters Mulder}

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions

<mutters "Boulder">

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 11:11 AM PDT up reply actions

<mudder bolts>

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions

{muddies Coulter}

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:13 AM PDT up reply actions

HAWT

I mean, kinda.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions

<asks saint for gender clarification>

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions

Uh...

I just noticed that all of Cotty's DLDs this week have been dated '07...

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:00 AM PDT reply actions

Uh, yeah.

You were gone for a while, weren't you? I hope you didn't miss us winning the WS in '07. That was pretty fun - Marco Scutaro's walkoff double to clear the bases in the bottom of the ninth in game 7 has to be one of the great sports moments of all time.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:03 AM PDT up reply actions

He sucks at math.

by mikeA on Oct 20, 2006 11:05 AM PDT up reply actions

<snerk>

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions

all part of the show

you see Season 2 ended with Diego, Sienna, Hopey, and James Lipton were explosively propelled randomly across time. Diego ended up in next year.

Or I just messed up, cut and pasted a lot and have way too little sleep to do this right.

I guess we'll never really know what happened...

by Apricot on Oct 20, 2006 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions

Scratch one off the Angels' list.

At least if you believe Jon Heyman, who opines that Carlos Lee is going to be a Houston Astro next year:

People around baseball all believe Carlos Lee will win up with the Astros, where he can take advantage of the short left-field wall -- a "joke'' one N.L. executive called it -- and his nearby cattle ranch. It's a little odd that so many people believe they know already where a free agent is going, as negotiations aren't allowed yet. The question with Houston would be the lack of a DH and Lee's expanding girth. "He's going to eat himself into a DH,'' one exec (not from Houston) said.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:08 AM PDT reply actions

Philip Michaels at Catfish Stew

runs down some of the less likely candidates for managerial position in Oakland, including the robot Gort:

Behold, Gort -- a remorseless managing machine. Where other managers might see the leadoff runner get aboard and immediately order the next batter to move him over, Gort sees only the opportunity for a big inning wasted through so-called productive outs. Gort will not be restricted to bringing in his top reliever only in the ninth inning with a lead of three runs or fewer -- your human save rule is meaningless to Gort! And if Adam Melhuse feels slighted if Gort never says "hello" while passing him in the hallway, Gort can be reprogrammed to reproduce your pitiful Earth salutations. After all, the First Law of Robotics is that a robot may not harm a human or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. And the Second Law of Robotics is to never order a bunt unless it's the eighth inning or later and you're trailing by a run or tied.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:19 AM PDT reply actions

HIRE KEN'S DAUGHTER NOW!

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions

Kendall complains,

"The manager should protect her players, it would be nice to see her get out there with the ump and hold her breath or sob hysterical snotbubbles when there's a bad call..."

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:31 AM PDT up reply actions

Isn't Kendall her favorite player?

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions

Yes

http://catfishstew.baseballtoaster.com/archives/229269.html

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions

You mean...

hire the "Small Wonder"?

Hope Floats...I hate Sandra Bullock

by franks a lot on Oct 20, 2006 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions

Gort for Manager!!!

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 11:30 AM PDT up reply actions

FIRE KLAATU NOW!!!

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 11:35 AM PDT up reply actions

Hire Isaac Asimov....NOW

Hope Floats...I hate Sandra Bullock

by franks a lot on Oct 20, 2006 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions

Hire Ivan Pavlov....DING!

"So, whatever, Ozzie." -- Nick Swisher

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Oct 20, 2006 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions

<drools>

"...I say let's get the boys together again and take another shot."

by Jennifer on Oct 20, 2006 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions

HIRE R DANEEL OLIVAW NOW

It has been forseen by Hari Seldon...

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions

hire felipe alou

aka the bicentennial man

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Oct 20, 2006 4:35 PM PDT up reply actions

Word.

This was a fun digression.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 7:19 PM PDT up reply actions

A few more to get you through lunch

A Boy Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, etc., etc. He is also respectful of copyrights.

Boy Scouts in the Los Angeles area will now be able to earn a merit patch for learning about the evils of downloading pirated movies and music.

A merit patch? I spent many years in the Boy Scouts, and earned many merit badges, but a merit patch? Did they change the nomenclature when I wasn't looking? (And yes, this merit badge sounds lame, but as a Boy Scout who earned "Weather," "Fingerprinting," and "Space Exploration" merit badges I have no place to comment on the ridiculousness of the "Copyright" merit badge.)

Oh, and Steven Hawking is getting a divorce. Ladies of Cambridge, UK -- be warned!

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:29 AM PDT reply actions

It was all the pot smoking, wasn't it?

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions

Maybe they use patches instead of badges now

...so parents won't sue the Boy Scouts if their sons' precious little fingers get stuck by a pin.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions

Your son must not have been a Boy Scout

I earned the merit badges, but by gum, my mother sewed 'em on my sash.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:52 AM PDT up reply actions

My son was not a Boy Scout.

[off-topic sociopolitical comment]

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:54 AM PDT up reply actions

I earned the badminton patch.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:53 AM PDT up reply actions

I spent years in the scouts

and never earned a single promotion. I did learn how to smoke, drink, and get into gang fights with other troops, though.

"Having a vote for 'most clutch' baseball player is like having a vote for 'most real' monster." - Ken Tremendous

by ArakSOT on Oct 20, 2006 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions

There's no patch for that?

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 12:05 PM PDT up reply actions

there was, for the gang-fight bug in Scout 2.0

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 12:07 PM PDT up reply actions

lmao

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 12:18 PM PDT up reply actions

No

but now I'm always prepared for drinking, smoking, and fighting

"Having a vote for 'most clutch' baseball player is like having a vote for 'most real' monster." - Ken Tremendous

by ArakSOT on Oct 20, 2006 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions

... and Sal misses his own alley-oop

Badges? They don' need no steenkin' badges!

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions

I don't know how to react to finding out

that Steven Hawking is getting a divorce.

On one hand, I can understand why someone would want to divorce someone who can't really do anything on his own.

On the other hand, I'm shocked that someone married him in the first place. No offense, MC Hawking.

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 11:42 AM PDT up reply actions

you down with Entropy?

Yeah you know me.

The complete song is actually pretty great.

by Apricot on Oct 20, 2006 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions

The Giants are broke, need our cash.

Ann Killion revisits territorial rights in the Merc.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:51 AM PDT reply actions

Damn fancy blockquote cost me 12 seconds.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:52 AM PDT up reply actions

Damn article-reading nearly cost me.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions

Magowan cutting off nose to spite face?

That's what Ann Killion thinks he's doing by refusing to sell the territorial rights to San Jose to the A's:

Everyone has a price, just as Peter Angelos did when the Expos wanted to move to Washington, D.C. The Giants almost certainly have a price in mind for those territorial rights, despite their stance that it's a non-negotiable issue. That they'll never give up the rights.

``Once they're gone,'' a high-level Giants employee told me, ``they're gone forever.''

But once the A's are in the South Bay neighborhood, they're there forever. And what would be gone is not only the chance to make money off the A's but also to do the right thing by Giants fans.

Unless Peter Magowan plans to build a wall along the southern border of Alameda County, he's not going to prevent South Bay baseball fans from flocking north.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 11:52 AM PDT reply actions

HAH!

(for a change)

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:53 AM PDT up reply actions

Wall! Wall! Wall!

Smuggling So Bay fans underneath the wall is a business opportunity for a worthy entrepreneur.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:53 AM PDT up reply actions

"Mr. Magowan,

tear down this wall!"

Some are sabermetricians.

by andeux on Oct 20, 2006 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions

Excellent.

Now would be a good time for a Pink Floyd reference.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 11:58 AM PDT up reply actions

Or at least a David Hasselhoff reference.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 11:59 AM PDT up reply actions

It's all about Money.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions

I give up

Was searching frantically for a picture of the wall built by the schisming towns in the Simpsons episode "A Tale of Two Springfields." And I confess that yes, it was all in an effort to quote a bling-drenched Kent Brockman saying "Thank you, Mayor Simpson. Because of you, we are all taking golden showers."

I threw that horseshoe into the weeds to see what luck can bring

by FreeSeatUpgrade on Oct 20, 2006 12:15 PM PDT up reply actions

So...

BART will finally reach San Jose via this proposed Underground Railroad?

Hope Floats...I hate Sandra Bullock

by franks a lot on Oct 20, 2006 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions

I live in the South Bay

and will offer my home to harbor traveling A's fans.

Kettlecorn! Swishercorn!

by TurnTwo on Oct 20, 2006 2:45 PM PDT up reply actions

mentioned the wall thing twice

almost word for word.

Is she giving a hint to the Giants?

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 11:56 AM PDT up reply actions

If he builds a wall...

does that mean the A's will get more hispanic fans?

(sorry, had to be said)

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 11:57 AM PDT up reply actions

I hear Steve Lyons still can't find his wallet

"I never saw a hooligan I did like. They're like left-handed pitchers, they all have a screw loose somewhere." - The Asphalt Jungle

by drmmerchk on Oct 20, 2006 12:02 PM PDT up reply actions

its in his loins.

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions

did you guys know

that we need Bud Black to tell us that the A's are better than the Giants?

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/10/20/SPG99LT1M51.DTL

sorry, dont know how to make those fun lil boxes...

by digsthelongball on Oct 20, 2006 12:56 PM PDT reply actions

Erubiel Durazo sighting.

He's tearing up the Mexican Winter League:

Free agent Erubiel Durazo went 2-for-4 and hit his third homer of the MPL season on Thursday.

Durazo is batting .429/.474/.743 in 35 at-bats. Things didn't work out for him in 2006, but since he'll be a full year and a half removed from Tommy John surgery next spring, he should still be capable of helping a team as a designated hitter.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 1:23 PM PDT reply actions

Poor White Whale.

I really wanted him to succeed in Oakland.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Me too.

I have a feeling he's going to wind up in Seattle next year.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions

mariners catch white whale?

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Oct 20, 2006 1:39 PM PDT up reply actions

I eat whales

but only hormone-free, organically raised, free-range whales.

"[Frank's] a big battler. He's the mother of battleships."

-Nick Swisher

by kaweahkaweah on Oct 20, 2006 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions

Our School Nurse is

Quite a swimmer
She says Swimming
Makes you slimmer
Her name's Mrs.
Pellegrini
Have you ever seen a Whale in a Bikini?

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 3:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Are you guys all blind???

THE CARDINALS BEAT THE METS LAST NIGHT TO ADVANCE TO THE WORLD SERIES. YADIER MOLINA HIT A TWO-RUN HOME RUN IN THE TOP OF THE NINTH INNING. FINAL SCORE 3-1.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=261019121

That's right, there are things that happen in baseball that don't involve the A's! Sorry to burst your bubbles.

by Philip Christy on Oct 20, 2006 1:31 PM PDT reply actions

WE'RE TRADING FOR YADIER MOLINA???

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Oh!

{checks out Yadier's ass to make sure he'll be okay here}

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 1:47 PM PDT up reply actions

That could take a while.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes, we traded for him!

And we're putting him on the DL tomorrow.

by Philip Christy on Oct 20, 2006 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions

forgive us..

we thought that this was an A's blog.

by digsthelongball on Oct 20, 2006 1:38 PM PDT up reply actions

What is this baseball you speak of?

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 1:39 PM PDT up reply actions

who's advancing to what now?

"Having a vote for 'most clutch' baseball player is like having a vote for 'most real' monster." - Ken Tremendous

by ArakSOT on Oct 20, 2006 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions

who are you, Tommy Lasorda?

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions

<climbs out of cupboard>

by digsthelongball on Oct 20, 2006 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions

Just because your team's out of it...

is no reason not to drink SlimFast!

by Philip Christy on Oct 20, 2006 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions

And you thought nacho runs were bad...

The latest carny food craze? Deep-fried Coca-Cola:

Now, vendor Abel Gonzales Jr. has come up with a new artery-clogging concoction for the State Fair of Texas. It's fried Coke.

Gonzales deep-fries Coca-Cola-flavored batter. He then drizzles Coke fountain syrup on it. The fried Coke is topped with whipped cream, cinnamon sugar and a cherry. Gonzales said the fried Coke came about just from thinking aloud.

"Next thing you know, they'll have me taking an overdose of pills."--Milton Bradley

by jeepers on Oct 20, 2006 1:50 PM PDT reply actions

Order now and get complimentary

angioplasty.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions

uh...

I think that should "complementary." can I get some help from the English majors?

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions

It's "complamintery"

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions

Thanks.

I owe you a komplomint.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions

no, it's "keithplagintery"

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions

no, it's campylobactery...

you know, the kind that gives you gastroenteritis.

Tin Roof

by Ice Cream on Oct 20, 2006 9:11 PM PDT up reply actions

NASTY.

And not in the good way.

Asked to sum up his season, Chavez said, "With a big red cross and a white flag."

by Poppy on Oct 20, 2006 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions

i can top that

How about Coke-fried fat? Lard balls parboiled in Coca Cola-infused oil.

but jesus--rhyming is a pain in the ass! -- Rubin Sierra @('.')@

by monkeyball on Oct 20, 2006 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Deep Fried Coke? Thats disgusting!

<drinks Double Gulp of Coke)

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 2:34 PM PDT reply actions

Grant en fuego (as usual)

The Internet Baseball Nerd Reality Act of 2003 was passed by the good folks in our House of Representatives, making it illegal to bring up Jack Cust as the answer to any lineup question for any team above AA. I supported the law at the time, but am now starting to wonder if it isn't time to explore the idea again. After cratering in Baltimore at age 25, he bounced back to hit .293/.467/.549 in AAA last year. That's a .467 OBP. Zoinks. When he tries to play defense, he looks like the Tin Man trying to put the Cowardly Lion in a headlock, and it first it's funny, but then the headlock goes on for a little too long, and the Cowardly Lion's all like, "Dude, okay, that's enough," but the Tin Man just keeps going, and he's laughing a weird little laugh, and then the Cowardly Lion starts to spaz out and finally break free, and he's all, "Dude, what's your problem?". I don't know what that means, but that's how Cust plays defense, and it isn't good.

http://www.mccoveychronicles.com/story/2006/10/20/113742/64

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Oct 20, 2006 2:38 PM PDT reply actions

Rob Neyer's Top 50 Post Season Preformances

this is gunna be ugly, so I won't mention the stuff that DID NOT HAPPEN I TELL YOU and only mention what was done by the A's.

#32: Joe Rudi
Left Fielder, Oakland A's
1972 World Series, Game 2

In a game his A's won 2-1, Rudi hit a solo homer in the third inning to give Oakland a 2-0 lead and saved at least one run with an outstanding catch against the left field wall off a drive from Denis Menke in the ninth inning.

#16: Howard Ehmke
Starting Pitcher, Philadelphia A's
1929 World Series, Game 1

After winning only seven games all season, the 35-year-old Ehmke went off to scout the Cubs for a couple of weeks. Yet he was named the A's surprise Game 1 starter and set what was then a World Series record with 13 strikeouts in a 3-1 victory. After that, Ehmke never won another major league game.

#14: Frank Baker
Third Baseman, Philadelphia A's
1911 World Series, Games 2 and 3

With big home runs against Giants stars Christy Mathewson and Rube Marquard, Baker earned one of the game's great nicknames: "Home Run." Baker finished the series hitting .375 with five RBI and a .708 slugging percentage.

by Zonis on Oct 20, 2006 2:47 PM PDT reply actions