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MISSING: A's offense

REWARD: Division title
BRING IT TO: McAfee Coliseum

MISSING: A's health
REWARD: Division title
BRING IT TO: The Oakland A's

The baseball gods are angry, very angry. Who displeased them? In the old mythologies, something gone wrong meant you'd made some god - there were a lot of them - mad. You know, there was a big thunder storm and the lightening struck a tree and it fell down. In Greek mythology, that meant Zeus was very angry with you. They'd sacrifice some sacred meat and Zeus would be satisfied.

So why are they mad? Who did it? Sometime during the year, somebody really made the A's gods mad. Because they took their anger out on May, then someone made a sacrifice, and everything was good. But now they are mad again! Who keeps 'sinning'?

I saw the greatest T-shirt the other day - "I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here!" Someone go find the A's offense and bring it back!!

P.S. This is, in no way, shape, or form, meant to be religious. I say this because some people have been mad about the politics, and they might be mad about the religious stuff. I made this diary as a stab at humor in these frustrating times....