During the dark ages, B.C., when a prominent minority of AN was absolutely losing their minds with despair, I posted an all-positive vibes diary.
Now it is the Enlightenment, A.C., and we townspeople are happy. Too happy. It is now time for some balance.
First, let me explain my sports religion to you. I am not asking you to follow it yourself, but this is my diary, not yours. I believe in the Woofing Gods. If you do NOT believe partially in the Woofing Gods, then I suspect you must be someone who hasn't followed sports very long...
In a nutshell, Woofism says if you are an annoying arrogant jackass and overhype your own team, you will cause them to lose and your sorry ass will have brought it on yourself. Many people are Reform Woofists, meaning they accept little social gestures, like no saying "no hitter" or "don't play Celebration until the game is actually over", but things like bringing brooms to the possible sweep day of a series is okay. I am a Strict Woofist. When I went to Zito's Game 3 vs the Yanks and I saw all the people who brought brooms, I cringed internally. I knew the woofing gods would be pissed. And they brought pain to everyone around. To be a true Woofist, be ecstatic about your team's actual accomplishments, but predict only with moderation and rational argument.
Therefore, on this day of merriment, now that we have tied up the Wild Card race despite all rational expectation, I list for you some of the things that make me worried about our team.
- Our bullpen continues to worry me. Street I trust. That's it. No offense Duke fans, but I've never felt too sure about him. Calero and Duke are decent options. Witasick is brilliant one day, cruddy the next. I don't feel too secure.
- Youth. Of course, youth might make us strong into the long season. It also makes us flaky and prone to bad streaks. Expect bad streaks from DJ, Crosby and Swish to come.
- May Chavy is back.
- Kendall may have trouble throwing with multiple cleat wounds across his head and two arms. The running game may yet kill us in the close ones down the stretch.
- Harden's control seems to come and go. If it goes, he's human. he's also given up a fair number of long difficult fly outs which might have busted games open.
- Haren is a puzzle. He could be tiring, and he has not looked sharp since the Break. Ditto for Cupcakes Blanton.
- Our rare attempts to bunt have basically stunk in the last month. This may come to bite us on the butt someday.
- In closing, let me beseech us to root hard for the A's, and celebrate them because the season has been a long in-your-face to all the doubters and haters. And if you disagree with one of my worries, feel free to rebut me with facts and figures. But please, do not woof in this thread, for the Woofing Gods are mighty and have a speedy Internet connection.
What is your Woofing religion?
Strict Woofist (no super-positive predictions, even if believed) (34 votes)
Reform Woofist (believe some woofing is ok in fun, like sweep predictions) (59 votes)
Atheist Woofist (not afraid to predict glory, loud and far, without evidence) (11 votes)
PERSPIRE MACHA NOW (is that water?) (6 votes)
110 total votes