Most Irritating A's Broadcast Ads of 2005?

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:09 AM PDT

Now that we're more than halfway through the '05 season, those of us who listen to the A's radio broadcasts have had a chance to hear every one of the current crop of commercials many hundreds of times, which means the really irritating ones have had sufficient repetition to scrape big festering sores into our consciousness. What was mildly annoying in April is absolutely maddening in July; by October I'll be reaching for a freakin' monkey wrench with which to crush my radio to dust when the dreaded voices of those shadow-government enforcers from Round Table, Matt and Marcus, foul the air for the 55 bjillionth time (a couple of weekends ago, while working beneath my car, I tore most of the skin off my back struggling desperately to reach the volume control on the radio- which I'd foolishly placed out of reach- because I knew I'd start punching my fist to bloody tatters against the transmission in a psychotic rage if I had to hear the punchline of the Baron's Jewelers ad just... one... more... time).

Now I'll admit that we've got it relatively soft in 2005; nothing we're hearing this season can rival the dentist-drill torture of Billy Sardell (Pizza Expert) or the Beer Poets (please, dear God, make it stop!) of seasons past, but that doesn't mean we can relax every time we hear "a pitching change and a break in the action." I'm sure that, working together, we can determine the Most Irritating Radio Ad of the 2005 Oakland Athletics.

I'm going to give my vote to Farmer's Insurance, because of that fiendish audio detail thrown in to punish us: the Muzak in the background as the two cubicle-dwelling clods chat about improbable car demise (I picture them in one of those hellish-office/soul-destroying Break Rooms, with the smell of burned microwave popcorn, angry "Remove your old food from the fridge" notes from the receptionist, etc) which subtly morphs into the background Muzak of the ad itself in a bit of brandin-arn-on-the-ol-cerebellum meta-advertising. I feel like organizing a massive billion-dollar insurance-fraud scam targeting Farmers every (expletive) time I hear that (expletive, expletive, expletive) ad. Though the Miller Prevent Taste Loss ads come in a close second for me, mostly because of the indecipherable line barked out by the Jim Jones-esque Miller Lite Compound Dear Leader as his subjects earn themselves shaved heads and bread-and-water diets for their failures: "Come on people! This isn't rocket science or ggzzzfdlksdfaoiw!" and the sinister "This message is totally choice" tagline at the end.

Poll

Most Irritating '05 A's Radio Ad?

Round Table Pizza: Matt and Marcus, "Once, twice, three times a smokey!"

29 votes

Miller Lite: "I WANT to TASTE my BEER!"

59 votes

Baron's Jewelers: "Aaaa LEGacy of ELegance!"

42 votes

Bay Alarm: "Not necessary. Just listen for the fans screaming!"

12 votes

Yahoo Music: Inept corporate rappers on all-treble AM radio, anyone?

4 votes

Nation's Giant Burgers: "They throw you a curve!"

6 votes

Pave Fine Jewelers: "Want to hit a home run with your sweetheart?"

10 votes

Prostate Cancer

3 votes

Benchmark Lending: "...and guess what? We're nice people, too!"

17 votes

Farmers Insurance: "'A bear trashed your car?' 'A grizzly bear!'"

28 votes

210 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 106 comments | 0 recs |

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Comments

I love them all

Please support all those companies ( the few who exist that support the A's)

by novaoakland on Jul 22, 2005 11:17 AM PDT reply actions

I normally tune them out

and read some game-day comment.

by ArakSOT on Jul 22, 2005 11:20 AM PDT reply actions

You're driving

to Vallero!

Vroom Vroom VROOM!

http://www.myspace.com/glorysv

by Hit4TheCycle on Jul 22, 2005 11:23 AM PDT reply actions

I exempted that one

Because of Bill King's great piss-take on the "Gas with VROOOOOM!" line.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions

actually, thats ones my favorite!

when we drive by a Valero, my and my girlfriend look at each other and go

VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!

by popcornjames on Jul 22, 2005 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions

hey

get a room!

by Apricot on Jul 22, 2005 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions

Bay Alarm

i HATE that one

HATE HATE HATE

Mostly because it just drones on and on....

The beer ones I just get used to

"He threw me a pitch I'd never seen before, Sexson said. The umpire asked me what it was, and I said, 'I don't know.' This guy throws ghost pitches.''

by Alien @ Athletics Nation on Jul 22, 2005 11:31 AM PDT reply actions

I hate the Barron's Jewelers ads

The owner has an annoying voice.

At least it's not like KCBS with the HMS Financial ads. That guy rushes his copy like a acutioneer.

"so what was it? the pork chop or the booty???" -rly723

by secret ASian man on Jul 22, 2005 11:34 AM PDT reply actions

Bay Alarm:

What have you got to lose?

Does my sanity count?

Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 11:37 AM PDT reply actions

Miller Lite commercial

What he says is "C'mon people! This isn't rocket scientistry!"

I voted for the Farmer's Insurance ads: "So, the car went off the cliff? "Yeah, off the cliff into the ocean. I forgot to set the parking brake."

I always think "Too bad the bumper didn't hook your pants and drag you off the cliff with it, because, really, you're too stupid to live."

And I'm recommending this diary because you're write up is hilarious.

Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 11:40 AM PDT reply actions

Rocket scientistry?

AAARRGGHHH! That's even worse than not knowing what he's saying.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions

Oops, "your"

And the Baron's ad is a close second because of Ronnie's nasally voice and the tagline. I almost always switch it off before the end, just like the Fry's commercials. That tag line with the phaser beam sounds make me mental.

Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions

Actually, it's

"Come on people, this isn't rocket science (HISTORY)".

Great diary BTW, I've had an inclination to do this same post, but I couldn't hold a candle to your account while under your car, that's priceless. But my most hated is the Round Table ads, pizza police, pizza as wedding presents etc.

My trick (for sanity) is to guess the order of ads and when the KFRC jingle signaling the action will play. Like, when the Chronicle ad about collectible pins given away with the Chron on weekend games that starts with the lady's(nasal) voice saying "fans..." will always signal the KFRC jingle forthcoming.

by eamb on Jul 22, 2005 12:22 PM PDT up reply actions

Ummm, no...

McFood had it right, it's "scientistry". It's a garbling of the words 'scientist' and 'surgery' (as in, "This isn't brain surgery.").

by Cass from the Rey on Jul 22, 2005 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions

Oh yeah

Wanna bet? ;)

by eamb on Jul 22, 2005 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions

I actually agree with

scientistry. I think they're making fun of beer-drinking non academics. It's "funny".

Change is for the better. For both the A's and in life.

by WhiteElephantGuy on Jul 22, 2005 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions

Accent seems to be on wrong syllable

Wouldn't it be pronounced "scienTISTry" rather than "scientisTRY" in that case?
And while we're on the topic, any theories about the "This message is totally choice" statement at the end of the ad? An ad-within-an-ad by the ad agency, perhaps named something like Choice Marketing or Radio Choice?

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions

"This message is totally choice..."

Choice garbage. Choice stupidity.

Is it just me, or are beer commercials -- on TV or radio -- are just dumb these days?

AN Member Location Surveys: Results | Take part

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Jul 22, 2005 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions

Scientistry

Thanks. I've been wondering about that. Sounds like "rocket science's street" to me.

by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions

BART ad

The amateurish BART ad makes me want to stop taking public transit entirely, buy a Hummer, and drive over endangered species on my way to leak a CIA agent's name to Judy Miller and Bob Novak.

First of all, the audio volume modulates wildly throughout the ad.

Second, the script and concept are just dumb.

Third, and worst of all, the inept voice actor who they hired not only loses his "hillbilly" accent halfway through, 5 seconds after he loses it, he adopts a new, slightly different hillbilly accent. He sounds like a drunken frat boy trying to imitate Adam Sandler imitating Dana Carvey doing "Garth" trying to imitate Adam Sandler's character from THE WATERBOY.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 11:44 AM PDT reply actions

Damn, I forgot that one

Them city slickers are always trying to fool ye about the hidden costs of drivin'. Hoo doggy!

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions

Speaking of ...

... the hidden costs of drivin', did you (or anyone else) read Gwen Knapp's ludicrous piece in the Chron Sunday mag two weeks ago?

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:21 PM PDT up reply actions

That's the worst by far

It might be forgivable if the speaker really did sound like a country yokel, but the actor's accent is absolutely horrible.

by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 8:46 PM PDT up reply actions

I concur

Whooooo doggy is the worst by far. Damn you BART!!!!

What's the point of attaching a number to everything you do? If your numbers go up, you're having more fun.

by AlwaysSweatin on Jul 22, 2005 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Speaking of Billy Sardell

Did anyone notice his bit part as a mall security guard in the movie "Bad Santa"? Yes, Billy Gardell parlayed his Pizza Expert fame into... very little.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:47 AM PDT reply actions

Don't trash California!!!!

Those ads are really getting on my nerves.

by Flash G on Jul 22, 2005 11:53 AM PDT reply actions

Flex Your Power

Where they have animals auditioning to be the flex-your-power spokesperson. A frog, and then a cricket. Amidst this "clever" set-up, they try to work in some message about how we should all try to reduce our consumption of electricity, for the sake of California. Whenever I hear these ads, I wonder how much electricity was WASTED in the making and broadcasting of these STUPID ADS.

Great diary, by the way.

by rubin sierra on Jul 22, 2005 11:58 AM PDT reply actions

I really miss the guys night out commercials

those were the greatest. Funny, but in a sad sort of way.

I'm the guy with the Carney/Jared Lansford jersey

by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 12:13 PM PDT reply actions

that mysogynist crap

put me in a rage

Were you there when Dogface Joe parked the pellet beyond the pale? -Jacques Barzun

by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Agreed

The ads of '03 and '04 reached new nadirs in the glorification of that sorry-ass date-raping/crotch-grabbing/gay-bashing mentality I hate so much.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions

I hate to say this

But many of the athletes we watch in MLB, NBA, and NFL do have that sorry-ass date-raping/crotch-grabbing/gay-bashing mentality that we hate.

And even worse, a lot of the fans do, too.

Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions

and we can pretend

eric byrnes doesn't watch fox news

Were you there when Dogface Joe parked the pellet beyond the pale? -Jacques Barzun

by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions

This is the only thing I will say about politics

promise.

What I said wasn't a comment on conservatives or liberals. It was a comment on sorry-ass/crotch-grabbing/date-raping/gay-bashing jerks everywhere, no matter what they believe otherwise.

Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 12:48 PM PDT up reply actions

sorry. i only meant

that there may be lots of things we wouldn't want to learn about our favourite players, really.

Were you there when Dogface Joe parked the pellet beyond the pale? -Jacques Barzun

by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions

Well

You are right about that.

Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 12:55 PM PDT up reply actions

guys' night out

I actually trade in all my Wednesday night tickets because I somehow always wind up with "GUYS NIGHT OUT" moving down from their $2.00 View seats and parking their pathetic drunken scene right behind me.

by Poppy on Jul 22, 2005 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions

Matt and Marcus by far

I actually e-mailed Round Table to disparage that ad campaign and I turn the radio off when they come on... the most irritating ones are the ones where they raid the Mafia and the one where a chick calls in about her boyfriend getting her a pizza for their anniversary. Just sad.

by dchu on Jul 22, 2005 12:19 PM PDT reply actions

I want a lawyer

I'm the guy with the Carney/Jared Lansford jersey

by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions

I think he says..

"I want my lawyer..."

by DaThirdDeck on Jul 22, 2005 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Who wouldn't want a lawyer...

...after having your door kicked in by paramilitary thugs working for a rival pizza chain? Or is the Pizza Patrol supposed to be a Committee of Vigilance organized by concerned citizens- sort of like a pizza-themed Minutemen- and not directly affiliated with Round Table? The PIzza Patrol has troubling civil-liberties implications either way.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Slightly off-topic, but ...

Is anyone else highly amused by those "buy California-grown" ads with Ahnuldt's cameo appearance?

My s.o. and I have a running gag off of Ahnuldt's "Geep dee fffvahmuhs fffvahmingk!" line, where we insert any verb and "Schwarzeneggerize" it: "Geep dee window-vashuhs vindow-vashingk!" "Geep dee deefffeneztratohrs deefffeneztratingk!" etc.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:19 PM PDT reply actions

Ahnold

"Do you want to be a farmer? 'Cuz here's a couple acres (kicks cop in the crotch)"

Olympian Amil Gartenamo, world record holder in both the javelin and the hundred yard dash--only person who ever died by throwing a spear into his own back.

by Furious George on Jul 22, 2005 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions

"I'm a comedy sidekick!"

Great, great movie.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 25, 2005 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions

tough choice

but I would have to say the "I want to taste my beer" ads by the comicbookguyontheSimpson'syoungerbrother is most annoying this year.

I do agree that last year's Beer Poets and Billy Sardell were total audio wasteland noise pollution shite... mitigated somehwat by hearing Huddy's "this season's gonna be more exciting than ya thawt"... and because I listen to all the games, I can practially recite them by heart. My toddler dances to the 'Valero' ad (ugh). Admittedly I kind of liked the "ANTIPASTI! GORGONZOLA!" ad because it had nothing to do wih Pepsi.

They should let AN write some of the copy in the ads, they would be a lot funnier... (although rarely is something funny the 134th time.)

As far as A's ad campaigns, I really liked "BASEBALL: A's STYLE" a few years back. Those ads rocked. I would love a t-shirt that says "BASEBALL: A's STYLE" but all I have is a pom-pom from the Jeremy non-slide game.

by miguel on Jul 22, 2005 12:22 PM PDT reply actions

Antipasti ad

Great idea, lousy execution. They turned all the dials to "11" too quickly on everything in the ad.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions

seems like

they all are "turned up to 11", with the impossible- to-understand BART hillbilly (???!!) being all the more inaudible in comparison (loved your analysis of that one - somebody got PAID to do that ad... unbelievable...)

by miguel on Jul 22, 2005 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions

Actually ...

... I have a suspicion the BART one may have been pro bono.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions

... and ...

... good point that all of the ads are turned to 11 (volume-wise, concept-wise, emoting-wise) -- which is somewhat of a necessity for audio-only ads, especially when your audience has heard all the ads a million times and tends to be drinking while listening ... but still ...

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Pesto and L'Angusto

I loved that ad. Never got tired of it no matter how often it played. I miss it.

I also love Valero. I always sing along to the "vroom vroom vroom" parts.

I don't particularly like "I wanna taste my beer", but I don't hate it as much as most here do.

by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions

Why would anyone want to buy Valero?

It's the poor man's gas.

by freddy on Jul 22, 2005 12:33 PM PDT reply actions

Ha!

"The poor man's gas"
For a while, I really thought that's what they were saying in that jingle.

I think Round Table is the worst now. Is anyone else bothered by the way they pronounce "Andouille." I think they actually say it two different ways, both wrong, in their ads.

But my personal Make Me Want To Puncture My Eardrums Ads Hall of Fame is filled mostly with Coors Light ads from the last few years: the "I love .... and twins" ad, the guys night out ones, and at least one other that I have managed to block out of my consciousness. I just hope that twenty years from now it doesn't pop back into my mind causing me to go insane.

Rock and roll around my head like a 6 string belief

by andeux on Jul 22, 2005 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions

"The poor man's gas"

Does that have anything to do with "nacho runs"?

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions

That's so f-ing funny...

I laughed so hard, I practically gave birth, right here in my cube.

And I'm a guy...

Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 2:26 PM PDT up reply actions

BARRONS JEWELERS

A LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGACY OF ELLLLLLLLLLEGANCE.... I wanna freakin choke that guy and his little puny voice.

by Mr Alex on Jul 22, 2005 12:55 PM PDT reply actions

They're all bad

They are. Not clever. Not catchy. And repeated far too often. Too many of them talk down to the audience.

But the worst is Round Table

by dingerpower on Jul 22, 2005 12:57 PM PDT reply actions

I'll tolerate the Saag's ads

But only because I love the word "Wurstmeister"

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:05 PM PDT reply actions

I don't pay much attention to commercials

in general, but I hate all commercials. From the top of my head... the most irritating is definitely the "I want to taste my beer". Gah.

Also, "Gas with Vroooooom..." and then the stupid Valero commercial.

And I hate the little promo that the broadcasters read "The Contra Costa Times, The ONLY newspaper you need".
No, it's not the ONLY f-ing newspaper I need.

I'm just pissed right now.

GO A's!!!

by AsGirl on Jul 22, 2005 1:09 PM PDT reply actions

best and worst

Surely Billy Sardell was the worst commercial theme ever. I welcome Matt Marcus (or Matt and Marcus?) onto the radio because he/they are not Billy Sardell.

Sorry to disagree, but my favorite one is the beer taste loss one. It's just funny. I've started unintentionally incorporating "totally choice" into my vocabulary. I was going to put that in my signature on this page, but I'm glad I didn't.

What I really miss were the BART commercials with the song. Remember? "We are men, men, men, who ride BART, BART, BART"...then the whole train joins in. Way fun.

"Why do they call it the 'A's Replay'? It's always just 'The First Good Thing to Happen to the A's'". ~ArakSOT, 7/14/05

by rich @ Athletics Nation on Jul 22, 2005 1:24 PM PDT reply actions

Agreed about the beer taste loss spots

Totally choice.

And, yeah, "Come on, people. This isn't rocket science history."

Makes me laugh

by RLangford on Jul 22, 2005 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions

BART ads--it's no contest

I'm pretty impressed by how funny so many of you are. Monkeyball's comment on the BART ads had me laughing out loud. And the comment is right on the mark. Those ads are pretty amazing for how bad they are--and the TV spots are equally amateurish. It almost makes you think that it's by intention--that some agency somewhere is doing something cutting edge, that a Dogme 95 school of advertising complete with a manifesto exists somewhere.

I also loved the thread about those assinine and misogynistic "Boys Night Out" ads. Or maybe they were really just man-hating. Whatever. They were true pieces of crap.

All that said, I honestly sort of enjoy the A's advertising because of what it's associated with. Almost everything connected to the experience of a game feels pretty good. (If you're an NFL fan, it's sort of like hearing the Monday Night Football theme, or even Frank Gifford's voice--I like the feeling.)

by RLangford on Jul 22, 2005 1:26 PM PDT reply actions

Dogme 95 school of advertising

Oh, god, that's brilliant.

I'm picturing a beer ad directed by Lars von Trier: set in a warehouse, with five men in Mao suits surrounding a hot female celebrity (say, Jennifer Garner) wearing a blood-stained muumuu. The cinematography shifts jarringly back and forth between over-saturated/out-of-focus DV and scratchy B&W super-8. Each man holds a small white placard with large block letters reading "GUN." One of the men walks directly toward the camera, and starts speaking -- but as he speaks, we CUT abruptly to an unmotivated overhead shot from the ceiling of the warehouse, looking down on the 5 men and Jennifer Garner, as the man continues to speak: "Attention American imperialist sexist dogs. Buy Miller beer, or we will rape and torture Jennifer Garner." CUT to an extreme CU of Jennifer Garner, smiling beatifically -- as an offscreen symphonic intro starts, she opens her mouth to SING, and -- we CUT to silence and 15-20 frames of scratchy leader tape running, then a black screen, with the legend: "BUY MILLER BEER. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY GUILTY." Symphonic outro over the sound of automatic gunfire, mariachi music, and a crowd singing "La Marseillaise" off-key.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions

I'd actually choke down a Miller

If they ran that ad. And that's saying something- I'd drink a pruno/antifreeze cocktail out of a dirty styrofoam cup before I'd actually pay money for Miller Lite.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions

that's awesome!!!

i would... love that commercial. hahaha i'd make it if i had access to a high profile female celebrity. and a contract from miller.

"...the plate won't move. The mound is going to feel the same. The strike zone, with slight variations, is going to be right where it has always been." -Huston

by sabriel on Jul 22, 2005 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Wow, a cinamaphile And

a baseball fan. monkeyball, I'm impressed. Some Danes have a word for it and it's Dogme 95. But van Trier would be better directing beer commercials than his last "I hate America" dogmatic Dogtown fest with poor Ms. Kidman...

by reztips on Jul 23, 2005 1:14 AM PDT up reply actions

Cross Dress For Less

I do enjoy it when Bobby Crosby's garbled pronunciation of Ross Dress For Less comes through as "Cross Dress For Less." Yes, the place for budget-minded transvestites.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:27 PM PDT reply actions

i don't remember if it was ever on the A's station

but there was this radio commercial a few years ago that was the greatest thing ever. it was a 'california: it's the cheese' commercial, and it was kind of a take-off of monty python.

there were these monty python-like guys on a tour of a cheese factory and they were planning to steal the cheese for the queen of switzerland, and then at the end they go off singing 'we will steal the cheese when they are not around.' it was the funniest commercial ever. i miss it. ;-) this thread made me think of it.

and in terms of the current a's commercials, i voted for baron's jewelers b/c i hate that guy's voice, but all the commercials bug me. ahhhhh.

"...the plate won't move. The mound is going to feel the same. The strike zone, with slight variations, is going to be right where it has always been." -Huston

by sabriel on Jul 22, 2005 1:29 PM PDT reply actions

Left one out

What about the "Fire Macha Now" ads that were being run in May. I can't believe they didn't make the poll.

by RLangford on Jul 22, 2005 1:29 PM PDT reply actions

KFRC pulled them ...

... when my check didn't clear ...

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions

And another thing about Round Table ...

... the firm or their agency seriously needs to invest in a phonetic dictionary: I have counted at least four different pronunciations of "andouille" in their ads.

And, no, it's not pronounced "andeux"!

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 1:58 PM PDT reply actions

LETS NOT4GET THIS AD

the accor hotel commercials, where the guy goes into all the stats in baseball. it's pretty funny the 1st time, everytime after that i wanna kill anyone who ever stayed at a motel 6

by gWiLiKeRzZz on Jul 22, 2005 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions

I believe it's pronounced..

..And Dill Weed.

Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions

switching to T.V..Ad's...........

I absolutely hate that FSN Bay Area uses the same actors.

The same middle part for their ad that shows the A's and Giants throwing the homerun ball back, and the ad of "they knew it was coming".

How cheap can you be.

All you do is change the actors jersey in the begining and end.

by Mike Heath on Jul 22, 2005 2:38 PM PDT reply actions

Are you my long lost twin brother?

Or are we just working in a paralell universe?

Now THIS is Billy Ball

by Masaryk on Jul 22, 2005 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions

Lessons learned from those ads

Throw home run balls back onto the field! Sure, soing so gets you thrown out of the Coliseum, but do it anyway! Don't let The Man keep you down!
Steal signs! Sure, it's cheating, but the end justifies the means! Corked bats are cool, too!

Perhaps they could custom-tailor the ads for the fans of each team. For example, the A's ad could show people tossing a cellphone from one person to the next, through car windows etc, until the last one hurls it over a fence and hits Carl Everett in the back of the head.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions

YES!

It's bad enough that those ads are stupid as hell, but they have to use them for both teams! Although I liked the one from last year (I only saw it as a Warriors ad, though, never for baseball) with the two mechanics putting dead fish inside the door panel of the car with a Lakers bumper sticker...

by Poppy on Jul 22, 2005 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions

What about TV ads?

I really HATE that FSN commercial where they throw that ball around to all of the different people. There is the dude in the A's jersey. They have the same commercial for the Giants and the Mariners...it is the same cask different jersey.....It is the most annoying commercial and it plays about 15 times during a FSN game.

Now THIS is Billy Ball

by Masaryk on Jul 22, 2005 2:39 PM PDT reply actions

there's a whole series

of commercials repeated for every team - rally caps; sign stealing; bandwagon fans; etc. Sometimes the jerseys are Marlins, St. Louis, whatever.

I like the new (and original) A's ads, though. 'Specially Stomper in the tree.

Were you there when Dogface Joe parked the pellet beyond the pale? -Jacques Barzun

by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions

Just a quick question...

Normally I don't listen to the A's radio broadcasts, but I happened to be in my car last night during the came and caught some of it... I wasn't sure if I heard correctly, but has there been a Chevron promotion where you can buy-one-ticket-get-one free at the box office if you show a Chevron card??? Has this been going on all season long?? I've had a Chevron card forever but never heard of this! Any exclusions?

by spiffyjwc on Jul 22, 2005 2:49 PM PDT reply actions

All of them?

Though definitely "I want to taste my beer." Okay, it was funny the first time. THE FIRST TIME. Now my ears start to bleed when I hear it.

"While I was there, it didn't always seem perfect, but when I look back on it I just might think it was perfect." --Eric Byrnes

by Kyli on Jul 22, 2005 4:29 PM PDT reply actions

"I want to bleed my ears"?

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions

If I hear: "I Want to taste

my beer" one more time, I'll scream. The instant that comes over the air, the sound on my radio goes off.

So Eric ByrnesBrain listens to Fox News...I guess that should come as no surprise... ;-)

by reztips on Jul 22, 2005 4:50 PM PDT reply actions

Another glaring omission

Now that I'm listening to the pregame show I realize I overlooked the godawful Men's Wearhouse ads in the poll list. How I hate 'em!

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 5:02 PM PDT reply actions

Men's Wearhouse

Vicky Donahue is, like, totally annoying. Gag me with a spoon.

I'm the guy with the Carney/Jared Lansford jersey

by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 5:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Men Wearhouse

Answering Machine Voice: "Hi George, this is Tom Thomsington. Well, the other day I realized I needed a new suit, mainly because I didn't own one. I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, so I wanted to make a good impression. The nice suit I bought from your salesperson, Connie Commission, helped disguise the fact that I'm a registered sex offender and have a compulsion to hoard cats. George, thanks so much for the great service...and the great suit."

George "Voice Training Student" Zimmer: "We're glad you like the suit Tom...and covered your tracks."

by Mark H on Jul 22, 2005 5:10 PM PDT reply actions

That's simply outstanding

I'm still laughing.

A Beane in the hand is worth $60M in payroll

by jeepers on Jul 23, 2005 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions

Kragen

I know the Kragen ads are seemingly benign when compared to most of the others, but my personal experience makes the Kragen ads worst of all time hands down:

My boyfriend tends to get songs stuck in his head. When this happens, he sings them over and over and over... For the past few months, it's the KFRC Kragen ad, but he doesn't feel the need to sing more than one line, so it's "At Kragen we got it!" until I think my head is going to explode. I'm telling you, this is at all hours. Out to dinner, on a road trip, buying groceries... "At Kragen we got it!" he chirps. Then he adds "At Kragen we got it!" for good measure.

It was the beer poetry ads from last year that made me physically turn off the radio.

by eebie on Jul 22, 2005 5:12 PM PDT reply actions

Kragen

Here in Seattle they don't have Kragen, but they do have a similar auto parts store called "Schucks". Not long after I moved here, I happened to be listening to a Mariners broadcast on the radio (in the car), and they have the exact same ad but with "Schucks" substituted in for "Kragen".

The tune doesn't work as well, since "Schucks" has only one syllable:

We got it.
At Schu-ucks we got it.
Lower prices,
? ? ? [can't remember that line]
at your Schucks store.

by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions

Regional sub-brands

As an east coast transplant to the Bay Area, I still can't get used to "Bring out the Best Foods, and bring out the best." It. Just. Sounds. Wrong.

Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!

by monkeyball on Jul 25, 2005 6:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Don't Forget the TV Ads

...especially Lexus of Concord. Nothing like an assortment of sketchy car dealer employees to bring in the business, eh? The one who haunts me most is the colored-contact wearing, fake red haired tanning bed queen saying, "we have unmatched service" and, "we have it all, right here." No doubt a nod to her crack dealing brother-in-law who sits out back in the gold `96 LS400.

And why does the manager have to say, "For Lexus of Concord, I'm Greg Schiller." into the camera at the end? Nice ego trip, Greg, but I bet you like to get spanked a lot.

by Mark H on Jul 22, 2005 5:19 PM PDT reply actions

Corona Controversy

Remember a few years back when Corona was the sponsor of the time out? Well, one of the commercials was particularly strange. I wish I remember all the details, but I do remember one thing. At one point they say "when she hits rim, reach for a Corona." What the hell is that? I guess they want you to assume they meant something basketball related (you know, the whole time out theme), but did have another meaning that is a tad bit more sexual. Did anyone else catch this?

I'm the guy with the Carney/Jared Lansford jersey

by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 5:43 PM PDT reply actions

"When she hits R.E.M...."

As in "Rapid Eye Movement", the deep sleep dreaming state. Basically the commercial said take a time out and wait for your girlfriend to fall asleep to avoid answering a difficult question.

by LoveDemAs on Jul 23, 2005 7:46 AM PDT up reply actions

Wow, perfect timing

The commerical I hate the most-- Miller taste loss-- "no, NOT an-ti-bi-o-tics"-- is on right now. I can't stand listening to it. If I could reach the radio, I'd turn it off. Now we got the Farmers Auto Insurance. Wait, did the car actually roll OFF the cliff? I didn't catch that the first three times. Next: meet Crosby at a sports bar. That doesn't count. And we're back. So that commercial break wasn't too bad. In general, I just hate beer commercials. I had forgotten about the ones from a few years ago, the songs with "I love... and twins," and the beer poetry. Shudder. I must have subconsciously blocked those out because they were just so damaging to my brain cells.

Crappy BART commercial on now. BART TV and radio commericals are sooo bad, you'd think they could, you know, put some work into them or something.

And I loved the writeup by the author of the diary-- hilarious. We definitely an AN commission to write the KFRC commercials for the rest of this season and many many more beyond.

by whiteshoes40 on Jul 22, 2005 6:36 PM PDT reply actions

Since no one has mentioned it yet...

let me just add
Checking Package! Checking Package! Checking Package!

Rock and roll around my head like a 6 string belief

by andeux on Jul 22, 2005 6:58 PM PDT reply actions

Damn, that's one of the worst

I'm kicking myself for leaving it off the list.

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 23, 2005 10:29 AM PDT up reply actions

no, not antibiotics...

let's go oakland [clapclap clapclapclap]

the a's fan lj community.

by Jjjsixsix on Jul 22, 2005 8:49 PM PDT reply actions

The way

he says it makes me laugh ... I dunno why.

Anyone remember the "Coors Light Pick Up Lines" song? That one was my favorite.

by ElephantLove on Jul 22, 2005 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Hearing Ronnie

talk about romancing women seems...out of place for him.

Nico

by Nico on Jul 22, 2005 10:44 PM PDT reply actions

Lexus of Pleasanton

Once! When I'm finished!

God I hated those ad's when I lived in the bay, but it's been almost 4 years?

Recently, an my transition from Seattle to Souther California, I was able to catch a couple of A's broadcasts and man! I still hate them!

Not only do I hate the sound of hearing my little ol' hometown mentioned so much on the radio, but the "ONCE! WHEN I"M FINISHED!" Part makes me crazy!&#&^#%@&#@!!((()@HDBBVSH@UIIYET^#*)@)EU!

Copy Alpha Foxtrot...root with extreme prejudice...over.

by Force on Jul 22, 2005 11:18 PM PDT reply actions

Souther

As in "More souther!"

Copy Alpha Foxtrot...root with extreme prejudice...over.

by Force on Jul 22, 2005 11:18 PM PDT up reply actions

Car Dealer of Pleasanton

Because once I tell you the price, you'll forget the facts, become incontinent, start foaming at the mouth, speaking in tongue, and probably go blind before causing a 40 car pile up from driving into oncoming traffic.

The price isn't way-too-much nine.

Or even more-than-reasonable nine.

It's just completely unremarkable nine!

That's right! Completely unremarkable nine!

Disclaimer: Only two at this price, both of which we sold yesterday.

Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Jul 23, 2005 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Where buying a car is Pleasant!

Too bad the dealership isn't in Livermore... then he could say "Where buying a car is Liver!"

"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Jul 23, 2005 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions

Men's Whorehouse Ads

can make any man's sausage Saag. ;-)

by reztips on Jul 23, 2005 1:16 AM PDT reply actions

I guarantee it. :)

AN Member Location Surveys: Results | Take part

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Jul 23, 2005 7:31 AM PDT up reply actions

No one mentioned my most annoying yet!

I haven't heard them in a while, but early in the season there was a series of spots for selling your excess household junk via newspaper classified advertising. The ads themselves stank, both in writing and execution -- "Honey? Have you seen my favorite chair?" etc. --
but the thing that made them really appalling was that they were apparently ads for Philadelphia newspapers and got on the A's broadcasts by mistake! And this went on for weeks!

by Englishmajor on Jul 23, 2005 10:43 AM PDT reply actions

And as soon as I posted this

They started running the correct local version, for the CoCo Times. But I swear that earlier in the year it was philly.com or some such.

by Englishmajor on Jul 27, 2005 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Good Diary Topic

for all of us who listen on the radio to the A's. I HATE HATE HATE any commercial for Round Table. The whole smokehouse combo thing pisses me off. I'll probably never order Round Table again after this. I'm willing to fund these companies so they can afford better ad execs. Sheesh.

by athleticsjunkie44 on Jul 23, 2005 11:45 AM PDT reply actions