Most Irritating A's Broadcast Ads of 2005?
Now that we're more than halfway through the '05 season, those of us who listen to the A's radio broadcasts have had a chance to hear every one of the current crop of commercials many hundreds of times, which means the really irritating ones have had sufficient repetition to scrape big festering sores into our consciousness. What was mildly annoying in April is absolutely maddening in July; by October I'll be reaching for a freakin' monkey wrench with which to crush my radio to dust when the dreaded voices of those shadow-government enforcers from Round Table, Matt and Marcus, foul the air for the 55 bjillionth time (a couple of weekends ago, while working beneath my car, I tore most of the skin off my back struggling desperately to reach the volume control on the radio- which I'd foolishly placed out of reach- because I knew I'd start punching my fist to bloody tatters against the transmission in a psychotic rage if I had to hear the punchline of the Baron's Jewelers ad just... one... more... time).
Now I'll admit that we've got it relatively soft in 2005; nothing we're hearing this season can rival the dentist-drill torture of Billy Sardell (Pizza Expert) or the Beer Poets (please, dear God, make it stop!) of seasons past, but that doesn't mean we can relax every time we hear "a pitching change and a break in the action." I'm sure that, working together, we can determine the Most Irritating Radio Ad of the 2005 Oakland Athletics.
I'm going to give my vote to Farmer's Insurance, because of that fiendish audio detail thrown in to punish us: the Muzak in the background as the two cubicle-dwelling clods chat about improbable car demise (I picture them in one of those hellish-office/soul-destroying Break Rooms, with the smell of burned microwave popcorn, angry "Remove your old food from the fridge" notes from the receptionist, etc) which subtly morphs into the background Muzak of the ad itself in a bit of brandin-arn-on-the-ol-cerebellum meta-advertising. I feel like organizing a massive billion-dollar insurance-fraud scam targeting Farmers every (expletive) time I hear that (expletive, expletive, expletive) ad. Though the Miller Prevent Taste Loss ads come in a close second for me, mostly because of the indecipherable line barked out by the Jim Jones-esque Miller Lite Compound Dear Leader as his subjects earn themselves shaved heads and bread-and-water diets for their failures: "Come on people! This isn't rocket science or ggzzzfdlksdfaoiw!" and the sinister "This message is totally choice" tagline at the end.
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106 comments
Comments
I love them all
by novaoakland on Jul 22, 2005 11:17 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I normally tune them out
by ArakSOT on Jul 22, 2005 11:20 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
You're driving
Vroom Vroom VROOM!
by Hit4TheCycle on Jul 22, 2005 11:23 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I exempted that one
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
actually, thats ones my favorite!
VROOM, VROOM, VROOM!
by popcornjames on Jul 22, 2005 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Bay Alarm
HATE HATE HATE
Mostly because it just drones on and on....
The beer ones I just get used to
by Alien on Jul 22, 2005 11:31 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I hate the Barron's Jewelers ads
At least it's not like KCBS with the HMS Financial ads. That guy rushes his copy like a acutioneer.
by secret ASian man on Jul 22, 2005 11:34 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Bay Alarm:
Does my sanity count?
by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 11:37 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Miller Lite commercial
I voted for the Farmer's Insurance ads: "So, the car went off the cliff? "Yeah, off the cliff into the ocean. I forgot to set the parking brake."
I always think "Too bad the bumper didn't hook your pants and drag you off the cliff with it, because, really, you're too stupid to live."
And I'm recommending this diary because you're write up is hilarious.
by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 11:40 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Rocket scientistry?
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oops, "your"
by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Actually, it's
Great diary BTW, I've had an inclination to do this same post, but I couldn't hold a candle to your account while under your car, that's priceless. But my most hated is the Round Table ads, pizza police, pizza as wedding presents etc.
My trick (for sanity) is to guess the order of ads and when the KFRC jingle signaling the action will play. Like, when the Chronicle ad about collectible pins given away with the Chron on weekend games that starts with the lady's(nasal) voice saying "fans..." will always signal the KFRC jingle forthcoming.
by eamb on Jul 22, 2005 12:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ummm, no...
by Cass from the Rey on Jul 22, 2005 12:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I actually agree with
by WhiteElephantGuy on Jul 22, 2005 1:17 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Accent seems to be on wrong syllable
And while we're on the topic, any theories about the "This message is totally choice" statement at the end of the ad? An ad-within-an-ad by the ad agency, perhaps named something like Choice Marketing or Radio Choice?
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"This message is totally choice..."
Is it just me, or are beer commercials -- on TV or radio -- are just dumb these days?
by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Jul 22, 2005 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Scientistry
by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 8:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
BART ad
First of all, the audio volume modulates wildly throughout the ad.
Second, the script and concept are just dumb.
Third, and worst of all, the inept voice actor who they hired not only loses his "hillbilly" accent halfway through, 5 seconds after he loses it, he adopts a new, slightly different hillbilly accent. He sounds like a drunken frat boy trying to imitate Adam Sandler imitating Dana Carvey doing "Garth" trying to imitate Adam Sandler's character from THE WATERBOY.
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 11:44 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Damn, I forgot that one
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Speaking of ...
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:21 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's the worst by far
by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 8:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I concur
by AlwaysSweatin on Jul 22, 2005 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Speaking of Billy Sardell
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 11:47 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Don't trash California!!!!
by Flash G on Jul 22, 2005 11:53 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Flex Your Power
Great diary, by the way.
by rubin sierra on Jul 22, 2005 11:58 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I really miss the guys night out commercials
by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 12:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
that mysogynist crap
by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Agreed
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I hate to say this
And even worse, a lot of the fans do, too.
by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
and we can pretend
by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is the only thing I will say about politics
What I said wasn't a comment on conservatives or liberals. It was a comment on sorry-ass/crotch-grabbing/date-raping/gay-bashing jerks everywhere, no matter what they believe otherwise.
by salb918 on Jul 22, 2005 12:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
sorry. i only meant
by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
guys' night out
by Poppy on Jul 22, 2005 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Matt and Marcus by far
by dchu on Jul 22, 2005 12:19 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I want a lawyer
by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 12:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think he says..
by DaThirdDeck on Jul 22, 2005 1:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Who wouldn't want a lawyer...
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Slightly off-topic, but ...
My s.o. and I have a running gag off of Ahnuldt's "Geep dee fffvahmuhs fffvahmingk!" line, where we insert any verb and "Schwarzeneggerize" it: "Geep dee window-vashuhs vindow-vashingk!" "Geep dee deefffeneztratohrs deefffeneztratingk!" etc.
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:19 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Ahnold
by Furious George on Jul 22, 2005 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"I'm a comedy sidekick!"
by monkeyball on Jul 25, 2005 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
tough choice
I do agree that last year's Beer Poets and Billy Sardell were total audio wasteland noise pollution shite... mitigated somehwat by hearing Huddy's "this season's gonna be more exciting than ya thawt"... and because I listen to all the games, I can practially recite them by heart. My toddler dances to the 'Valero' ad (ugh). Admittedly I kind of liked the "ANTIPASTI! GORGONZOLA!" ad because it had nothing to do wih Pepsi.
They should let AN write some of the copy in the ads, they would be a lot funnier... (although rarely is something funny the 134th time.)
As far as A's ad campaigns, I really liked "BASEBALL: A's STYLE" a few years back. Those ads rocked. I would love a t-shirt that says "BASEBALL: A's STYLE" but all I have is a pom-pom from the Jeremy non-slide game.
by miguel on Jul 22, 2005 12:22 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Antipasti ad
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
seems like
by miguel on Jul 22, 2005 12:42 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Actually ...
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
... and ...
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 1:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Pesto and L'Angusto
I also love Valero. I always sing along to the "vroom vroom vroom" parts.
I don't particularly like "I wanna taste my beer", but I don't hate it as much as most here do.
by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Why would anyone want to buy Valero?
by freddy on Jul 22, 2005 12:33 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Ha!
For a while, I really thought that's what they were saying in that jingle.
I think Round Table is the worst now. Is anyone else bothered by the way they pronounce "Andouille." I think they actually say it two different ways, both wrong, in their ads.
But my personal Make Me Want To Puncture My Eardrums Ads Hall of Fame is filled mostly with Coors Light ads from the last few years: the "I love .... and twins" ad, the guys night out ones, and at least one other that I have managed to block out of my consciousness. I just hope that twenty years from now it doesn't pop back into my mind causing me to go insane.
by andeux on Jul 22, 2005 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
"The poor man's gas"
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That's so f-ing funny...
And I'm a guy...
by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 2:26 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
BARRONS JEWELERS
by Mr Alex on Jul 22, 2005 12:55 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
They're all bad
But the worst is Round Table
by dingerpower on Jul 22, 2005 12:57 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I'll tolerate the Saag's ads
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I don't pay much attention to commercials
Also, "Gas with Vroooooom..." and then the stupid Valero commercial.
And I hate the little promo that the broadcasters read "The Contra Costa Times, The ONLY newspaper you need".
No, it's not the ONLY f-ing newspaper I need.
I'm just pissed right now.
by AsGirl on Jul 22, 2005 1:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
best and worst
Sorry to disagree, but my favorite one is the beer taste loss one. It's just funny. I've started unintentionally incorporating "totally choice" into my vocabulary. I was going to put that in my signature on this page, but I'm glad I didn't.
What I really miss were the BART commercials with the song. Remember? "We are men, men, men, who ride BART, BART, BART"...then the whole train joins in. Way fun.
by rich on Jul 22, 2005 1:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Agreed about the beer taste loss spots
And, yeah, "Come on, people. This isn't rocket science history."
Makes me laugh
by RLangford on Jul 22, 2005 1:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
BART ads--it's no contest
I also loved the thread about those assinine and misogynistic "Boys Night Out" ads. Or maybe they were really just man-hating. Whatever. They were true pieces of crap.
All that said, I honestly sort of enjoy the A's advertising because of what it's associated with. Almost everything connected to the experience of a game feels pretty good. (If you're an NFL fan, it's sort of like hearing the Monday Night Football theme, or even Frank Gifford's voice--I like the feeling.)
by RLangford on Jul 22, 2005 1:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Dogme 95 school of advertising
I'm picturing a beer ad directed by Lars von Trier: set in a warehouse, with five men in Mao suits surrounding a hot female celebrity (say, Jennifer Garner) wearing a blood-stained muumuu. The cinematography shifts jarringly back and forth between over-saturated/out-of-focus DV and scratchy B&W super-8. Each man holds a small white placard with large block letters reading "GUN." One of the men walks directly toward the camera, and starts speaking -- but as he speaks, we CUT abruptly to an unmotivated overhead shot from the ceiling of the warehouse, looking down on the 5 men and Jennifer Garner, as the man continues to speak: "Attention American imperialist sexist dogs. Buy Miller beer, or we will rape and torture Jennifer Garner." CUT to an extreme CU of Jennifer Garner, smiling beatifically -- as an offscreen symphonic intro starts, she opens her mouth to SING, and -- we CUT to silence and 15-20 frames of scratchy leader tape running, then a black screen, with the legend: "BUY MILLER BEER. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY GUILTY." Symphonic outro over the sound of automatic gunfire, mariachi music, and a crowd singing "La Marseillaise" off-key.
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I'd actually choke down a Miller
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
that's awesome!!!
by sabriel on Jul 22, 2005 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow, a cinamaphile And
by reztips on Jul 23, 2005 1:14 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Cross Dress For Less
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 1:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
i don't remember if it was ever on the A's station
there were these monty python-like guys on a tour of a cheese factory and they were planning to steal the cheese for the queen of switzerland, and then at the end they go off singing 'we will steal the cheese when they are not around.' it was the funniest commercial ever. i miss it. ;-) this thread made me think of it.
and in terms of the current a's commercials, i voted for baron's jewelers b/c i hate that guy's voice, but all the commercials bug me. ahhhhh.
by sabriel on Jul 22, 2005 1:29 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Left one out
by RLangford on Jul 22, 2005 1:29 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
KFRC pulled them ...
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 2:10 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
And another thing about Round Table ...
And, no, it's not pronounced "andeux"!
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 1:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
LETS NOT4GET THIS AD
by gWiLiKeRzZz on Jul 22, 2005 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I believe it's pronounced..
by McFood on Jul 22, 2005 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
switching to T.V..Ad's...........
The same middle part for their ad that shows the A's and Giants throwing the homerun ball back, and the ad of "they knew it was coming".
How cheap can you be.
All you do is change the actors jersey in the begining and end.
by Mike Heath on Jul 22, 2005 2:38 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Are you my long lost twin brother?
by Masaryk on Jul 22, 2005 2:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Lessons learned from those ads
- Throw home run balls back onto the field! Sure, soing so gets you thrown out of the Coliseum, but do it anyway! Don't let The Man keep you down!
- Steal signs! Sure, it's cheating, but the end justifies the means! Corked bats are cool, too!
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
YES!
by Poppy on Jul 22, 2005 3:58 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
What about TV ads?
by Masaryk on Jul 22, 2005 2:39 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
there's a whole series
I like the new (and original) A's ads, though. 'Specially Stomper in the tree.
by captainamerica on Jul 22, 2005 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Just a quick question...
by spiffyjwc on Jul 22, 2005 2:49 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
All of them?
by Kyli on Jul 22, 2005 4:29 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
"I want to bleed my ears"?
by monkeyball on Jul 22, 2005 4:33 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If I hear: "I Want to taste
So Eric ByrnesBrain listens to Fox News...I guess that should come as no surprise... ;-)
by reztips on Jul 22, 2005 4:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Another glaring omission
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 22, 2005 5:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Men's Wearhouse
by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 5:30 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Men Wearhouse
George "Voice Training Student" Zimmer: "We're glad you like the suit Tom...and covered your tracks."
by Mark H on Jul 22, 2005 5:10 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
That's simply outstanding
by jeepers on Jul 23, 2005 10:09 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Kragen
My boyfriend tends to get songs stuck in his head. When this happens, he sings them over and over and over... For the past few months, it's the KFRC Kragen ad, but he doesn't feel the need to sing more than one line, so it's "At Kragen we got it!" until I think my head is going to explode. I'm telling you, this is at all hours. Out to dinner, on a road trip, buying groceries... "At Kragen we got it!" he chirps. Then he adds "At Kragen we got it!" for good measure.
It was the beer poetry ads from last year that made me physically turn off the radio.
by eebie on Jul 22, 2005 5:12 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Kragen
The tune doesn't work as well, since "Schucks" has only one syllable:
We got it.
At Schu-ucks we got it.
Lower prices,
? ? ? [can't remember that line]
at your Schucks store.
by iglew on Jul 22, 2005 8:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Regional sub-brands
by monkeyball on Jul 25, 2005 6:04 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Don't Forget the TV Ads
And why does the manager have to say, "For Lexus of Concord, I'm Greg Schiller." into the camera at the end? Nice ego trip, Greg, but I bet you like to get spanked a lot.
by Mark H on Jul 22, 2005 5:19 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Corona Controversy
by gojohn10 on Jul 22, 2005 5:43 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
"When she hits R.E.M...."
by LoveDemAs on Jul 23, 2005 7:46 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow, perfect timing
Crappy BART commercial on now. BART TV and radio commericals are sooo bad, you'd think they could, you know, put some work into them or something.
And I loved the writeup by the author of the diary-- hilarious. We definitely an AN commission to write the KFRC commercials for the rest of this season and many many more beyond.
by whiteshoes40 on Jul 22, 2005 6:36 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Since no one has mentioned it yet...
Checking Package! Checking Package! Checking Package!
by andeux on Jul 22, 2005 6:58 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Damn, that's one of the worst
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 23, 2005 10:29 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The way
Anyone remember the "Coors Light Pick Up Lines" song? That one was my favorite.
by ElephantLove on Jul 22, 2005 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hearing Ronnie
by Nico on Jul 22, 2005 10:44 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Lexus of Pleasanton
God I hated those ad's when I lived in the bay, but it's been almost 4 years?
Recently, an my transition from Seattle to Souther California, I was able to catch a couple of A's broadcasts and man! I still hate them!
Not only do I hate the sound of hearing my little ol' hometown mentioned so much on the radio, but the "ONCE! WHEN I"M FINISHED!" Part makes me crazy!&#&^#%@&#@!!((()@HDBBVSH@UIIYET^#*)@)EU!
by Force on Jul 22, 2005 11:18 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Car Dealer of Pleasanton
The price isn't way-too-much nine.
Or even more-than-reasonable nine.
It's just completely unremarkable nine!
That's right! Completely unremarkable nine!
Disclaimer: Only two at this price, both of which we sold yesterday.
by McFood on Jul 23, 2005 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Where buying a car is Pleasant!
by AlamedaAphid on Jul 23, 2005 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Men's Whorehouse Ads
by reztips on Jul 23, 2005 1:16 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
No one mentioned my most annoying yet!
but the thing that made them really appalling was that they were apparently ads for Philadelphia newspapers and got on the A's broadcasts by mistake! And this went on for weeks!
by Englishmajor on Jul 23, 2005 10:43 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
And as soon as I posted this
by Englishmajor on Jul 27, 2005 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Good Diary Topic
by athleticsjunkie44 on Jul 23, 2005 11:45 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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