FanPost

I Don't Believe In If Anymore

I offer this little parody of Roger Whittaker's "I Don't Believe In If Anymore."

Last week I made a post on Apricot's diary shoulda's and the art of the agile A's that went a little something like this:

"What-ifs about the past look and sound prophetic, but they really don't help us or the A's one bit. They assume that the organization should've known exactly what will happen in the future when Billy and Co. make their decisions. And then, occasionally, get ripped for not having 100 percent accurate foresight. It's like general managers are considered bad TV weathermen or something. What's worse: They can't be proved right or wrong, so arguing about them is pointless."

Right after writing that -- and maybe it was the word "if" bouncing in my head -- a song came to mind.

So now I offer this little parody of Roger Whittaker's "I Don't Believe In If Anymore." It's inspired by some of the posts I've seen on AN. It's not meant to be malicious -- or even serious -- just silly. Hopefully it'll help ease the pain of Wednesday's loss. And if not, oh well, I tried.

And my apologies to Roger Whittaker. And to those who haven't heard or heard of his song. And to those who haven't heard of Roger Whittaker. Geez, what's wrong with you?! :)

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Now if you fill your lineup right
And if you set your pitching so
And if you K that man my friend
The one we call the foe...

And if you do it often lad
And if you do it right
You'll be a hero overnight
We'll sing your praises with delight
Remember Beane is always right
But if you stink for just one night
Hello Sacramento...

No, you won't believe in if anymore
If's an illusion
If's an illusion
No, you won't believe in if anymore
If is for AN
If is for AN
Building dream teams

If Beane knew then what I know now
I posted in a diary how
if I could have the time again
I'd take Tejada and leave Chavez

If arbi time would trickle slow
like John Kruk with a busted toe
If only Lord if only
If only Lord if only

No, I don't believe in if anymore
If's an illusion
If's an illusion
No, I don't believe in if anymore
If is for AN
If is for AN
Building dream teams