FanPost

Temper, temper

I can't tell.

I can't tell whether I've finally gotten control of my emotions after A's losses, or whether I'm now in acceptance of something. Or whether it's only because my expectations were lower this year.

You see, I have a temper. I hate to lose, and I hate to see my teams lose. Maybe it's inherited from my dad, or perhaps imitating him whenever Alabama lost a football game. Maybe it was because I didn't like being picked on when screwing up playing softball or kickball or football during P.E. as a kid.

Even up through last year, if I saw the A's lose, I was not in best of moods. I'd assume a number of you feel the same way. My most "memorable" episode came at Game 1 of the 1988 World Series. I was 14 years old. Once Kirk Gibson hit that ball into the stands, I shouted "Good night!" to my mom and went to bed. Then I cried and pounded my bed in rage. It's not one of my proudest moments.

A lot of this has to do with expectations. Maybe it's timing. I fully expected the A's to smack around the Dodgers in that Series. I fully expected the A's to smack around the Reds two years later, but I think the World Series win in '89 softened the blow. I didn't take the '92 ALCS loss to the Blue Jays very well, though.

In 2000, I was disappointed that the A's could finish off the Yankees, but I felt great and thought this could be the start of something big. However, you didn't want to be near me in October the next four seasons -- because I expected more. I didn't watch Game 5 of the 2003 ALDS (vs. Boston) because I didn't think I could take it (especially after the three previous Game 5 loses). I saw the highlights the next morning on SportsCenter. When they got to Terrence Long's final at-bat and switched the audio to radio, I was expecting a game-winning RBI hit. When I saw the called strike three, I had problems focusing the rest of the day at work.

This year, however, with Hudson and Mulder gone and a lot of young talented pitchers working to make names for themselves, my expectations were a bit lower. Instead of "I expect the A's to contend and make the playoffs," it's "I'd LIKE the A's to contend and make the playoffs." And with this different expectation comes different emotional responses with each game. I'm happy after every win, sure, but every loss brings a shrug and a "We'll get 'em next time. We'll learn."

I've always tried to keep my temper in check, even though I've failed a number of times. I've kept trying to tell myself "It's only a game -- and one you can't control." Apparently lower expectations have been keeping my temper in check, but I sure don't want the A's expectations to be lower. Optimally, I'd like to root for the A's hard, be happy when they win, and be semi-rational and calm after a loss. Obviously that'll never happen... :P

I'm curious: Has your emotional reactions to A's losses differed this year, because a) we're getting numb to it by these recent weeks of struggles or b) the overall lowered expectations of this year's club? Or are they gnawing at you more than ever? Or is it the same? Or is this even an issue with you?