Killing Time with A's Haikus

by batgirl on Apr 1, 2005 3:13 PM PST

We've got 3 long days to go, and I've got 3 more hours to kill before I can leave work. To whit, I am passing the time by composing some A's Haikus. I realize this doesn't really qualify as something of substance, but I hope some of you have fun with it. There are always some really clever contributors to AN, so I'm sure you all can come up with some better ones than I've written to get the ball rolling...

Macha, please protest!
Nah, the dugout is comfy.
Got to be Nations.

Whither goes Byrnsie
to the Mets or maybe Mars
Make it stop Billy

What is with those clothes?
seen those orange pants before
Zito's walk of shame

Looking on in fear
Can he possibly make it?
Ruby, First to Third

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Now a little something for the ladies

I can see two dimes,
and an old parking receipt.
Gosh those pants are tight.

Bobby Crosby. . . yum.
Must break me off some of that.
Now that's man candy.

Do you have a comb,
My California surf boy?
Or, dear Brynes, pomade?

The Aces are gone,
MLB's hottest three-way:
Barrage-a-trois.

by BeaneAndNothingness on Apr 1, 2005 3:37 PM PST reply actions

LOL

that's awesome! That is so going on my binder.

You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow, it may rain. ~Leo Durocher

by GreenNGoldGirl on Apr 1, 2005 3:56 PM PST up reply actions

Just for You

I wrote the first one about Zito's pants with you in mind. This haiku would embody my personal uniform preference:

Nothing beats high socks,
The green calf-tastic glory.
Chicks dig the knickers.

by BeaneAndNothingness on Apr 1, 2005 4:04 PM PST up reply actions

hehe :)

that's clever.

Look at this picture... I got quite bored during spring break. ;)

Isn't it just so pretty?? There's a definite future, right Blez? ;)

If any A's players are reading this, I hope they don't get scared...

You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow, it may rain. ~Leo Durocher

by GreenNGoldGirl on Apr 1, 2005 4:11 PM PST up reply actions

All Blazer Jokes Aside

Cupid throws a curve.
Here's hoping he's on target. . .
Not high and outside.

by BeaneAndNothingness on Apr 1, 2005 4:18 PM PST up reply actions

I've never seen zito in a suit

by kvn on Apr 1, 2005 4:34 PM PST up reply actions

Was this...

From the day he was drafted or what?

"Not the fucking ducks again." Tony S.

by rook on Apr 1, 2005 5:24 PM PST up reply actions

Definite future there :-)

by Tyler Bleszinski on Apr 1, 2005 7:11 PM PST up reply actions

I heard Crosby reads Sartre too

by kvn on Apr 1, 2005 4:01 PM PST up reply actions

Oh man!

That's HILARIOUS. I love it. I think if Wolff wants to raise revenue, he can have advertising highlight the VERY tight pants of Oakland. ;-)

by Kyli on Apr 1, 2005 4:16 PM PST up reply actions

My Try

Oakland Athletics
Play in the Colisuem
Now called McAfee

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 4:02 PM PST reply actions

great idea, batgirl

Without further ado:

Finally good news:
Monday evening, east coast time
Time to get it on

"Your attention please,"
His season debut is near
Roy Steele, Voice of God

This was harder than I thought.

by Dog Days on Apr 1, 2005 4:05 PM PST reply actions

Live Haiku blogging

Keiichi Yabu,
Tried out for a starting job,
Pitches in bullpen.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 4:07 PM PST reply actions

Friday fun

fastball, then a change
foul off the foot for strike two
watch - the curve. Zito.

by sslinger on Apr 1, 2005 4:09 PM PST reply actions

Tell me if this is good

I hate the Angels,
They can't agree on city,
Where's the Anaheim?

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 4:12 PM PST reply actions

Love It

I tried my hand at an Anaheim haiku, but all I got was:

Beat LA Today
first and last time to agree
with the lousy gnats

by batgirl on Apr 1, 2005 4:19 PM PST up reply actions

Thanks

Your walk of shame haiku was a work of art.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 4:21 PM PST up reply actions

Love the "Where's the Anaheim?"

Inexplicably funny.

by OaktownTribesman on Apr 1, 2005 5:11 PM PST up reply actions

Haiku!

Oh, Bobby Crosby
Just try to be popular
By not wrecking guys

Marco Scutaro
Echoing out loud and proud
The best game ever

I think Billy's brain
Could buy a new stadium
If sold on ebay

by Kyli on Apr 1, 2005 4:14 PM PST reply actions

One more

Athletics Nation,
Isn't this a kickass site?
Thank you Tyler B.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 4:18 PM PST reply actions

AWESOME!

been a long winter,
dreams of my bleacher seating,
listen to mangione.

(side note, why do they play that song?)

Do you Yabu?

by JMC @ Athletics Nation on Apr 1, 2005 4:41 PM PST reply actions

ooh...

you know the A's won
when you hear "celebration"
over the P.A.

by high street on Apr 1, 2005 4:52 PM PST reply actions

Another one...

Hissyfits wont help
Your chances to make the team
Seth M. Etherton

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 4:55 PM PST reply actions

Yes!!

Topical, and used "hissyfits"

Double bonus points!

by batgirl on Apr 1, 2005 5:01 PM PST up reply actions

this is fun....

the coliseum
will be packed full of A's fans
in only 10 days!

by high street on Apr 1, 2005 5:03 PM PST reply actions

whee!

Yanks take a beating!
But now here comes the hard part
Cram onto BART bridge

by Poppy on Apr 1, 2005 5:07 PM PST reply actions

My BART bridge haiku

Bad BART bridge sax guy,
Knows only two stupid songs,
No more Flintstones please.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 5:09 PM PST up reply actions

LOL

Perfect

by sslinger on Apr 1, 2005 5:16 PM PST up reply actions

bidge

T shirt 5 dollars,
sunflower seeds for a buck,
man asks, any extras?

Do you Yabu?

by JMC @ Athletics Nation on Apr 1, 2005 5:27 PM PST up reply actions

Or...

A new Oakland team
But still the same boys in green
And the Yankees suck.

by Mission1929 on Apr 1, 2005 5:26 PM PST up reply actions

Haikus are overrated

And way too easy. I prefer limmericks...

Last night in the 10th we were tied
Bay bragging rights were on the line
"Mean Street" on the mound
His weakness was found
Revenge will be ours though, tonight

by OaktownTribesman on Apr 1, 2005 5:10 PM PST reply actions

You

beat me to it!

by sslinger on Apr 1, 2005 5:24 PM PST up reply actions

Another Ode to Last Night

The A's and the Giants did toil,
Last night on SBC soil,
Those Giants did win,
But was it in sin?
Our A's use no flax seed oil.

by BeaneAndNothingness on Apr 1, 2005 5:24 PM PST up reply actions

Random change

There once was a pitcher named Zito
Who wore white baseball shoes on his feet-o
When he wore his pants tight
And his socks pulled up right
It made GreenNGoldGirl cry "neat-o!"

by sslinger on Apr 1, 2005 5:16 PM PST reply actions

This is gold

You guys don't mind if I repost these on by blog do you?

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 5:21 PM PST reply actions

But of course

I knew folks would come through with some gems. Hey, what's your blog?

by batgirl on Apr 1, 2005 5:28 PM PST up reply actions

Click on my username

and follow the links.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 5:52 PM PST up reply actions

#5 spot

etherton blows it.
saarloos can win it tonight.
anything beats redman.

Do you Yabu?

by JMC @ Athletics Nation on Apr 1, 2005 5:32 PM PST reply actions

fun

does Billy Beane have
among his young Rivercats
an ace up his sleeve

by kvn on Apr 1, 2005 5:46 PM PST reply actions

It is, isn't it?

A winning season
But come fall, in October
Please, please touch the plate

athleticsnation.com, 164

by ArakSOT on Apr 1, 2005 5:56 PM PST up reply actions

Yet another one...

Barry Bonds sucks hard,
There is no "A" in steroid,
Well, not anymore.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!" -Brick Tamland, Anchorman

by secret ASian man on Apr 1, 2005 5:58 PM PST reply actions

Once upon a Bash Brother ...

There once was a boy named Jose
with shots in his butt everyday
His biceps did grow
But with finances low
Spits on what it means to be an 'A'

by HerbWashington on Apr 1, 2005 6:04 PM PST reply actions

Ode to Booby

There once was a player named Booby
They said he was worse than Chris Truby
But due to great luck
(Byrnesie traded to Bucs)
We learned he was better than Ruby

by OaktownTribesman on Apr 1, 2005 6:45 PM PST reply actions