FanPost

Not another Byrnes Diary - but it's funny

http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/welcome-to-spring-training-2005-style/

From the Hardball Times

The mauve group will go to diamond five to practice "home run admiring." There you will be schooled on standing in the batter's box watching balls sail over the fence. Special emphasis will be placed on the proper amount of time spent walking out the box and trotting down to first base. The second basemen, second-string shortstops, backup catchers and anybody named "Neifi" are excluded from this and will instead go to the practice on deck circle to brush up on their "timing the pitch" maneuver. It's very important that you make the opposing pitcher think you're serious about hitting.

Always make sure to hold the bat at the narrow end and please -- no flinching. If Jose Canseco shows up and offers to turn you from a scrub into a star, you have two options: One, notify me immediately or two, get fitted for a thimble and make sure your dog has plenty of fluids available before you go to the tent by the left-field fence.

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