On the plus side, in this season's 161st game, no hearts will be broken. (Was Darin Erstad's double solely responsible for my sudden and inexplicable fear of prime numbers?) Joe Blanton, 11-12 despite sporting a top-10 worthy 3.55 ERA, is trying to even his record for the season. He is opposed by Jeff Harris, who is trying to get someone to care.

After the game, stay tuned for my heartwarming tribute to A's Traveling Secretary Mickey Morabito, who will be thanked for his heroic perseverance in finding the lowest flights on Expedia.com while silently fighting through carpal tunnel syndrome.

Today's starting lineups:

Ellis
Kendall
Kotsay
Chavez
Payton
Johnson
Hatteberg
Swisher
Scutaro

Ichiro
Betancourt
Ibanez
Sexson
Beltre
Dobbs
Lopez
Bubela
Rivera